Toxic marriage

[Crazylostandugly]

I’m 20 weeks pregnant and I’m stuck in a toxic marriage. I often have suicidal thoughts. I have 2 other beautiful children and they are the only ones who are keeping me from taking my own life. I feel miserable. My husband never fails to uses harsh words on me and never takes the blame for whatever he does. Instead, I’m the one who is always at fault, no matter what, according to him. Eg, I’m overreacting, I’m an emotional freak, I cry easily, I’m over dramatic. Perfect example: I’m currently on bed rest due to a high risk pregnancy. I’m feeling miserable. My friends offered to come over yesterday to keep me company. He wasn’t happy. I alr told him my friends were coming over about a week ago. But, yest morning and the night before he was pulling a long face. He said I’m chasing him out of his own home cos now he needs to leave the house. Nobody asked him to leave the house. He could have just stayed in the room if he wanted. NobOdy asked him to socialise. My friends came over with their families. They kept asking where he was.. and if he was ok. He just disappeared and kept sending me vile messages like ‘have they left? This is a waste of my whole [ ]  day..’ my friends were supposed to leave in 2 hours but the kids were having so much fun, they stayed beyond 3 hours and he was very annoyed. He didn’t want to come back home till they had left. What was I supposed to do, chase them out? In the end, he said he will be home only at night. So whatever. 
 

but he came home shortly after my friends left. He completely ignored my kids, even when they kept going to him to ask him To play with them. Heartless monster. He was so mean to me the whole night, kept muttering stuff under his breadth and kept asking next when my mother was gg to come over. ( in a sacarstic way, he didn’t like my mum and was always sour about her coming over. I’m pregnant, house bound for goodness sake. Can’t my mum come over to take care of me?????? Obviously he’s not taking care of me. ) 

I thought of suicide so many times yest. No courage to carry on to make it come true. I’m feeling miserable. 

Edited May 4, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Crazylostandugly said:

 I’m pregnant, house bound for goodness sake. I thought of suicide so many times.

See your physician ASAP about the suicidal ideation. Call a mental health/ suicide hotline and discuss your thoughts and feelings. 

[vla1120]

 

11 hours ago, Crazylostandugly said:

I thought of suicide so many times yest. No courage to carry on to make it come true. I’m feeling miserable. 

Are you in the UK? In the U.S., we can get therapy over the phone or via live feed, now. If you cannot do that, at the very least please call a suicide hotline when you feel this way. I was married to a man like your husband. It's exhausting. It's a toxic situation and you have to do what is best for you and especially for your children. Right now, you're in a precarious situation, being pregnant and having two other children. Once the baby is born and everyone is healthy, do you have the means to move out on your own and support yourself and your children? Maybe you can spend this time to do some research and figure out how you can leave this toxic situation.  Does your mom know the situation? Maybe you can enlist her help. You'll need a support system.

 

[WhereToStart]

On 5/3/2022 at 8:39 PM, Crazylostandugly said:

 

I thought of suicide so many times yest. No courage to carry on to make it come true. I’m feeling miserable. 

Just want to offer you my well wishes. I'm sorry your partner isn't able to see that you are suffering. I hope you get the help you need. I would like to say to allow your friends to support you and try to ignore his sulking. You need the support very badly. So he can throw a pity party and hopefully you can tell him I know you're uncomfortable with it and I appreciate you letting my friends come over, something to that effect