My Dark Circles are Making me Incredibly Depressed

[CuriousCassie]

Hi there, 

So even though I have had genetic dark circles since high school, I have become more increasingly aware of how I look with them. Anytime someone looks at me, my mind makes me believe that they’re only staring at me because of my dark circles and that they think I’m a drug addict or something. 
 

I believe that I get treated differently because of the dark circles. I think I struggle with making friends because of the dark circles. I think people think that I’m sick or have an issue. 
 

I have asked so many people if they are bad and everyone has said they either don’t notice them, or that they don’t take away from my beauty. I don’t believe them and am still doing my obsessive compulsive rituals. For example, taking a bunch of videos and pictures in different lighting, going into stores and immediately looking for a mirror to check my face and see how my dark circles look, and constantly looking up things online about dark circles.  
 

I feel that no one is ever going to find me attractive. I want to get lower eyelid surgery but it’s expensive and I’m nervous they’ll look worse after. But I’m so tired of being so self conscious. I can’t even make eye contact with people, so i seem even more insecure. I feel that if people do look at me they can’t even make eye contact, they just look at my teeth because they’re scared of me. 
 

I really want to become a pro volleyball player, I think I have the potential. The only thing holding me back is my insecurity over my looks. I won’t be able to become mentally strong, if im too busy caring what people are thinking of me as im about to serve the ball. 
 

My dark circles have made me so depressed. If I think they look worse on a certain day, I’ll immediately get distracted with them & my mood will decrease drastically. I’m even becoming more angry and irritated at others because I am just so sad. 

[Wiseman2]

See your physician for an evaluation of your overall physical and mental health.

If a referral to an ENT for allergies or endocrinologist for the alopecia and other issues is appropriate, you'll get better care and better solutions.. 

You must rule out underlying causes first. Google "allergic shiners".

Edited May 8, 2022 by Wiseman2

[CuriousCassie]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

See your physician for an evaluation of your overall physical and mental health.

If a referral to an ENT for allergies or endocrinologist for the alopecia and other issues is appropriate, you'll get better care and better solutions.. 

You must rule out underlying causes first. Google "allergic shiners".

So I have seen a dermatologist & he said they are completely normal and I have nothing to worry about. Do you think I should get a second opinion?

[stillafool]

Do you drink plenty of water?  Dehydration can cause dark circles around the eyes and sometimes it's hereditery.  I too think you should get medical tests to make sure your kidney's are functioning properly.  If everything is okay with your health there are some incredible concealers on the market now that may work for you.

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

See your physician for an evaluation of your overall physical and mental health.

If a referral to an ENT for allergies or endocrinologist for the alopecia and other issues is appropriate, you'll get better care and better solutions.. 

You must rule out underlying causes first. Google "allergic shiners".

As mentioned, get a complete physical evaluation and referral to the appropriate specialists.

[Noproblem]

I am so sorry about what you are going through

A simple google search showed this:

Dark circles resulting from genetic hyperpigmentation can usually be addressed by your local dermatologist or plastic surgeon. Chemical peels and laser treatments are some of the most successful options, but you may have to go through several treatments to get the results you want.

I think you need to go to a plastic surgeon and see your options..

I think your problem can be addressed by either

1- conclear (even if you are a guy, you can put conclear, watch youtube videos to see which brands to choose and what tone to chose etc

2- or laser/chemical peels treatment)

But also, there is a pyschological aspect that needs therapy.

I would google good plastic surgeon in ur area and get a consultation. Try to find one that have many other services like laser treatment and other options.

Read the review and then go for it.

 

I do believe people can treat you differently based on how you look, behave, conduct yourself, wear clothes, etc.

However, people can still love you and adore you despite all that.. 

Regardless, you shouldn't accept the status quo, if something bothers you, try to change it, otherwise you gotta accept it!

 

Finally being a professional athelete has nothing to do with how you look, but how you play!

So the last thing people care about in a player is how they look.. saying that doesn't mean how you look doesn't affect your playing, it does affect it, everything emotional can affect how good you play.. So yes, you need to find a solution to your problem. Best of luck!

Edited May 11, 2022 by Noproblem

[Wiseman2]

On 5/8/2022 at 8:17 PM, CuriousCassie said:

 I have seen a dermatologist 

Ok. What about your overall health? Such as allergies, endocrine status, blood work, etc. First rule out underlying causes.

Keep in mind that cosmetic procedures are not included in health insurance, quite expensive and won't treat whatever underlying conditions there are.

[stillafool]

There's nothing a Plastic Surgeon can do about dark circles.  You can't surgically remove them nor will any peels make a difference.  You need to see a Medical Doctor.

[BrinnM]

It's genetic. Increasing water intake won't help. Maybe surgery will, but there's no guarantee. 

What helps is a good concealer: Try TOUCHE ÉCLAT HIGH COVER RADIANT from Yves Saint Laurent. It is not cheap, but lasts forever, and covers amazingly. I have used it for more than a decade, and would never use anything else. Not sure where you live, but here in the U.S. you can get it at Sephora, and if you travel internationally, they usually have it in every duty-free shop. Give it a shot!!

Oh and if you're a pro volleyball player, nobody cares about dark eye circles. Look at other (female and male) athletes, many have minor imperfections (e.g. Brittney Griner, a basketball player, she has dark circles as well), but I have never heard anybody mention their flaws, because they are insignificant. You're probably the only one noticing it, and you have asked people, including doctors, and you got honest answers. Your circles are not as bad as you think.

Edited May 11, 2022 by BrinnM

[CuriousCassie]

12 hours ago, Noproblem said:

I am so sorry about what you are going through

A simple google search showed this:

Dark circles resulting from genetic hyperpigmentation can usually be addressed by your local dermatologist or plastic surgeon. Chemical peels and laser treatments are some of the most successful options, but you may have to go through several treatments to get the results you want.

I think you need to go to a plastic surgeon and see your options..

I think your problem can be addressed by either

1- conclear (even if you are a guy, you can put conclear, watch youtube videos to see which brands to choose and what tone to chose etc

2- or laser/chemical peels treatment)

But also, there is a pyschological aspect that needs therapy.

I would google good plastic surgeon in ur area and get a consultation. Try to find one that have many other services like laser treatment and other options.

Read the review and then go for it.

 

I do believe people can treat you differently based on how you look, behave, conduct yourself, wear clothes, etc.

However, people can still love you and adore you despite all that.. 

Regardless, you shouldn't accept the status quo, if something bothers you, try to change it, otherwise you gotta accept it!

 

Finally being a professional athelete has nothing to do with how you look, but how you play!

So the last thing people care about in a player is how they look.. saying that doesn't mean how you look doesn't affect your playing, it does affect it, everything emotional can affect how good you play.. So yes, you need to find a solution to your problem. Best of luck!

Listen, thank you so much for your advice. I do not want to get plastic surgery. I want to learn how to embrace them, especially since I’m still young. If they get even worse with age, then maybe I will get it. But I am really good at volleyball, and want to become a professional athlete, but my stupid mind has convinced me I’m too ugly to go for it and that people will only care about my dark circles which is far from true 

[CuriousCassie]

2 hours ago, BrinnM said:

It's genetic. Increasing water intake won't help. Maybe surgery will, but there's no guarantee. 

What helps is a good concealer: Try TOUCHE ÉCLAT HIGH COVER RADIANT from Yves Saint Laurent. It is not cheap, but lasts forever, and covers amazingly. I have used it for more than a decade, and would never use anything else. Not sure where you live, but here in the U.S. you can get it at Sephora, and if you travel internationally, they usually have it in every duty-free shop. Give it a shot!!

Oh and if you're a pro volleyball player, nobody cares about dark eye circles. Look at other (female and male) athletes, many have minor imperfections (e.g. Brittney Griner, a basketball player, she has dark circles as well), but I have never heard anybody mention their flaws, because they are insignificant. You're probably the only one noticing it, and you have asked people, including doctors, and you got honest answers. Your circles are not as bad as you think.

Thank you so much🥹 your reply was so helpful and nice. I will definitely look into that concealer, and yes I have noticed that not every athlete is 100% flawless and as long as they’re scoring points and confident in their game no one GAF! This helped a lot, god bless you

[stillafool]

29 minutes ago, CuriousCassie said:

But I am really good at volleyball, and want to become a professional athlete, but my stupid mind has convinced me I’m too ugly to go for it and that people will only care about my dark circles which is far from true 

No one in the sports world is going to care about your looks as long as you're healthy and your game is good.  If you were going into modeling it would be different.

[Alpacalia]

I know we all have things on our bodies sometimes that we're not always 100% happy with.

Myself, I have post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation on parts of my body that's related to an auto-immune disease. Other times rosacea on my face.

If you enjoy wearing makeup and the way you look, go for it! It's not meant to shame anyone who wears makeup, just that they enjoy it. Lots of different things you can try.

But the dark circles are a part of you that you will have to learn to embrace.

These aren't illnesses. Your health is not compromised; it is only you who is at risk. Including your mental wellbeing. Try to let go of the toxic voices. No longer do they define you.

They will simply become white noise in the background, that will, hopefully one day, disappear entirely.