Work breakup

[SunnySide0418]

I was dating someone I work with for the past 4yrs. The first 2yrs were great, the last 2 were on and off because I was unsure he was what I wanted. I kept going back because he loved me very much and I really wanted to get that feeling back. I never did and I know I wasn't giving him what he wanted/needed. Last week he told me he's developed feelings for someone else we work with.  We obviously ended things once and for all. My question is why do I feel hurt by this?? I feel jealous and the thought of him being with someone else really bothers me. I'm 50, he's 47. 

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, SunnySide0418 said:

I was dating someone I work with for the past 4yrs. the last 2 were on and off because I was unsure he was what I wanted.. Last week he told me he's developed feelings for someone else we work with. 

Sorry this happened. Are either of you in other relationships/married? Is he considered the office wolf?

Unfortunately your relationship never progressed and often on/off relationships are fraught with drama and conflicts combined with unhealthy attachment and lack of other opportunities.

 Be cordial and professional at work. Free yourself  from this. 

Join some clubs and groups, get involved in sports, fitness and health, volunteer, take some classes and courses. Reconnect with friends and family. Broaden your social circle to meet new people and talk to new men.

 Get a good profile and recent good pics on quality dating apps. Start talking and meeting to local, single, interested men or a coffee/drink.

[glows]

Pardon, are you both single? You're probably hurt because he's no longer available and he showed you he cared. 

[Alpacalia]

There was a loss in your life.

It's for the best though. You were getting "cold feet" over what is a big decision and having doubts and second thoughts.

Now he can find someone who is right for him.

It sounds like you're under the impression that breaking up ends any feelings you might have for him.

There were some attractive qualities in him that attracted you to him. Yes?

Having lost him, things have changed. He isn't accessible. You miss him and having that comfort that he provided and that makes you sad. He was part of your life for sometime. Now he is not. You didn't expect it to end.

Take your time getting used to being single. Let your friends help you get over him. Go out with them. Be there for someone you care about. Do things you love.

Edited May 13, 2022 by Alpacalia

[mtnbiker3000]

On 5/12/2022 at 5:21 PM, Alpacalia said:

There was a loss in your life.

It's for the best though. You were getting "cold feet" over what is a big decision and having doubts and second thoughts.

Now he can find someone who is right for him.

It sounds like you're under the impression that breaking up ends any feelings you might have for him.

There were some attractive qualities in him that attracted you to him. Yes?

Having lost him, things have changed. He isn't accessible. You miss him and having that comfort that he provided and that makes you sad. He was part of your life for sometime. Now he is not. You didn't expect it to end.

Take your time getting used to being single. Let your friends help you get over him. Go out with them. Be there for someone you care about. Do things you love.

^^^ This...

And, for me it was also the loss of all the regular communication with the person. Texts, phone calls, etc, multiple time a day. Every day. Now the phone is silent! It's weird and a reminder of the loss and grief involved with a breakup. It is what it is and will take some time to properly process. It's OK. You're OK!!