People with Depression and Personality Disorders fall HARD for me.

[DirectionUncertain]

22 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

Well that's very noble, but you could find healthier ways to help people.  You could go into social work as a profession or volunteer at various places such as a battered women's shelter.  You don't have to incorporate it into your interpersonal romantic relationships too.  You sound a lot like me a few years back.  I used to want to help women with serious psychological issues too.

And I wouldn't take what others said as an insult.  Pretty much everyone could use therapy, it's not just for people with suicidal ideation or severe mental illness.  I'm a staunch advocate of everyone talking to a therapist if for no other reason than to get a clean bill of mental health.  We wouldn't assume that we have no underlying health issues without having a physical checkup on a regular basis, so the same should go for our minds.

 

Should you go to the emergency room when you need a band-aid?  
 

You should NEVER waste mental health care resources and block those actually in need from receiving care.  
 

im appalled at this line of discussion. 

[Weezy1973]

On 5/13/2022 at 2:18 PM, DirectionUncertain said:

I think I thoroughly enjoy helping people.  It breaks my heart to see people struggling and I want to help.  
 

It could be colloquially what is referred to as "white knight syndrome". It's not an actual psychological diagnoses, but here's a link: https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2018/06/5-signs-you-have-white-knight-syndrome-playing-the-rescuer-in-your-relationships/

 

And an quote:

"You base your self-worth on your ability to “fix” people. White knights pride themselves on “saving” others and this is a core part of their identity in relationships. Rather than opening themselves up to true intimacy where both parties in a relationship are emotionally fulfilled, they unconsciously seek out unhealthy partners who appear to most need them. They are drawn to those who have severe emotional issues and feel fixated on healing the other person. In doing so, however, they often neglect to save themselves from toxic relationships and are unable to focus on healing themselves first and foremost."

 

And another:

"You gravitate towards those who are overly needy and dramatic, often idealizing them. This is especially true for male white knights who tend to find the dramatic or destructive behavior of their partners strangely seductive. You place your partners on a pedestal, infantalize them and treat them as if they were “fragile” and unable to take care of themselves. In doing so, however, you encourage an unhealthy dependence in which the partner begins to rely on your emotional labor just to survive."

[S2B]

2 hours ago, DirectionUncertain said:

 

Should you go to the emergency room when you need a band-aid?  
 

You should NEVER waste mental health care resources and block those actually in need from receiving care.  
 

im appalled at this line of discussion. 

said the person who asked for suggestions but is unwilling to change the way he approaches his problem.

keep an open mind. Your mind is closed.

if you’ve done therapy - it hasn’t worked - find a NEW therapist that actually requires YOU to change your behavior.

[basil67]

2 hours ago, DirectionUncertain said:

Should you go to the emergency room when you need a band-aid?  

The equivalent of an ER for a bandaid would be a suggestion that you see a psychiatrist because you're choosing the wrong women....but nobody has said that.  Just as you'd go to a GP for an ailment which is not going away, it's perfectly reasonable to see a counsellor or therapist if you're making choices which don't work for you.   

Unless of course you're happy with all your choices in women?  In which case, why the thread?

[flitzanu]

i once asked my friends why i'm a glorified psycho magnet in the girls i date.  one of them told me i should review the common denominator in the situation.

[Alpacalia]

Likewise. It seemed for a bit as if I attracted men in the law enforcement field. No idea why.

[flitzanu]

4 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

Likewise. It seemed for a bit as if I attracted men in the law enforcement field. No idea why.

criminally attractive?

🙃

[SingFish]

On 5/13/2022 at 12:52 PM, DirectionUncertain said:

The type

You use the word type a few times about different people. Do people really fit into the stereotypes? I am taking anti depressants currently for depression and I doubt most people know about it, and I certainly wouldn't be sharing my health issues with a date! It's my issue to manage. Millions of people have mental health problems and manage them.

You enjoy the attention and the sex, the girlfriends too presumably. Why are they sharing all their private business and leaning on you? 

Vulnerability can be attractive and make us feel good as protector but you are saying you don't want the role any more so you have to respond to the situations which set it up differently. 

It's okay ( and healthy ) for people to fix their own problems. 

Therapy is one way to help fix yours. There's also Codependents Anonymous support groups for people who get 'enmeshed' in relationships. 

 

 

[Lisa]

Thread closed as OP no longer requires our assistance