Husband has been filming me secretly

[Smb]

Hello friends, I’m new to this. But I’m searching for a support system. Last November I found a hidden video camera in my bathroom. My husband had hidden it and had been filming me naked. He lied when I confronted him. Eventually he confessed, but not easily. Initially he said he only did it once. But a lot of ugly truths have come out since. He has filmed me on multiple occasions in other rooms. He has been spying on me through blinds. He tracks me in my cell. It’s all so confusing, because he comes off as the nicest guy ever. It’s heartbreaking for my children. It’s heartbreaking for me. I feel like I’m having to mourn my husband while he is still very much in my life. We are currently separated but he comes over to see the kids daily. He goes to therapy every week. I am going as well (on my own). But I don’t see how I can possibly ever trust him again. 
 

My mom and sisters know what’s going on. But to make the sadness even more unbearable, I can feel their disappointment in knowing that I don’t plan to stay in my marriage. I feel like I’m being passive aggressively shamed. And it’s not ok. I’m desperate for support. Any suggestions or even just a kind word would be greatly appreciated and helpful.

[S2B]

I support you leaving him. It’s a huge violation. And the fact that he wasn’t forthcoming when you asked makes it even worse.

it would completely creep me out. 
 

we have cameras all over the house - but never in areas that someone would want privacy - that crosses the line!

I wouldn’t be capable of trusting him ever again.

[Acacia98]

3 hours ago, Smb said:

I feel like I’m being passive aggressively shamed. And it’s not ok. I’m desperate for support. Any suggestions or even just a kind word would be greatly appreciated and helpful.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. And I'm sorry you don't have the unambiguous support of your mom and sister.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Smb said:

. We are currently separated but he comes over to see the kids daily. 

Sorry this is happening. Have your home and devices checked and remove all tracking and video devices. Have a technician make out a report. File a report with the police. 

Do not let him into the house. Make arrangements for supervised visitation. If you are legally separated file for divorce as soon as possible.

[BaileyB]

I’m so sorry that this has happened to you.

You are right to leave. I would never trust this man again. It is an absolute shame that your mom and your sister do not fully support you - perhaps it’s different for them having not lived it, but still… this is a significant violation of trust. 

Do you have a daughter? I would be VERY cautious about allowing  my daughter to go to his home. 

ETA, I’m also glad you are getting counselling. This kind of thing will also affect trust in future relationships. Hopefully, the counselling will help you to deal with those issues. Take care.

Edited May 14, 2022 by BaileyB

[BaileyB]

6 hours ago, Old Bloke 67 said:

I'm not suggesting that your husband has any kind of "right" to see you naked, but um, it is pretty normal in any healthy marriage.

My partner is welcome/and does see me naked every day - he is not welcome to place cameras in the bathroom and secretly record me without my consent. There is a HUGE difference between the two.