Should we speak to HR?

[MrFurley]

Hi all,

Wanted everyone's input on something I've been dealing with at work. In my opinion, my boss is playing favorites with one of my coworkers and it is starting to affect morale of the team.  Examples of the favoritism we've seen as of late:

• She threw a birthday party for him and had the entire office sign his card
  • None of us have had that treatment
• On a business trip, she threw him a surprise work anniversary party with all the bells and whistles
  • None of us have had that treatment
• On said business trip, we had a team dinner - the favorite said it was group choice
  • Where did we wind up going? A restaurant over an hour away that the boss knew he would like.

I've only been on the team for about 3 years, but in my 3 years - she does make a point to emphasize on stuff that makes him happy and gives him treatment the rest of us don't get.

There are other examples where we feel this guy gets more leeway than the rest of us.  We don't want to sound bitter or anything, and this guy is an extremely hard worker (Maybe this is the reason why she does this).  

Other things we have noticed that other teams have whispered about is how well they get along.  Almost toooo well if you know what I mean. Wink. Wink.  I mean the boss is a single woman and the favorite employee is a single man, close to the same age.  I do admit their chemistry is something to beholt and leaves a lot of us wondering if there is something else going on...but then again, they have been working together for 10 years now, so of course, they are bound to be close.

 

Any input is appreciated,

 

 

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, MrFurley said:

 

• She threw a birthday party for him and had the entire office sign his card
  • None of us have had that treatment
• On a business trip, she threw him a surprise work anniversary party with all the bells and whistles
  • None of us have had that treatment
• On said business trip, we had a team dinner - the favorite said it was group choice
  • Where did we wind up going? A restaurant over an hour away that the boss knew he would like.

She's not harassing you so it would be tough to complain to HR. Unprofessional? Yes. Is she having a fling with this guy?

Edited May 15, 2022 by Wiseman2

[stillafool]

Is she the one footing the bill for these surprise events for him or is the company paying or is she asking you guys to contribute financially?  If not, I guess she can spend her money how she wants.  If it's bothering you don't go.  Also if you as a group are unhappy about what she's doing all of you should ask for a meet to discuss it with her.  Don't get involved in office gossip about their relationship as you don't know for sure what's going on.

[ShyViolet]

So she threw two parties for him and it sounds like they might be having a fling.  Is that worth going to HR about?  Honestly I don't think so.  I would just ignore it and focus on my job.

[MrFurley]

3 hours ago, stillafool said:

Is she the one footing the bill for these surprise events for him or is the company paying or is she asking you guys to contribute financially?  If not, I guess she can spend her money how she wants.  If it's bothering you don't go.  Also if you as a group are unhappy about what she's doing all of you should ask for a meet to discuss it with her.  Don't get involved in office gossip about their relationship as you don't know for sure what's going on.

She foot the bill for it all. We just thought it was super weird for the team dinner, she chose a restaurant with him in mind.

We were all like offff course she chose that restaurant.

Trying not to fall to office gossip, but it's hard not to notice some of these little things.

Edited May 15, 2022 by MrFurley

[BrinnM]

1 hour ago, MrFurley said:

She foot the bill for it all.

well she could’ve used a company credit card - how would you know?

but anyway …… she’s the boss & she thinks that he’s a really hard worker, and so do you and your coworkers apparently ….. and he’s been a long-standing team member as well, sounds like he has somewhat of a senior position after 10 years? Sure, they could be dating, but she could also just be thankful that she has such a committed, hardworking, loyal employee on her team. Nothing wrong with that. Speculating is always dangerous. I would assume she appreciates him as a hard worker, I wouldn’t automatically conclude that something improper is going on. And if you say that she’s spent her own $$, then that’s even less of your guys’ business, right? If you don’t want to be part of it, just don’t sign the card, go to a dinner elsewhere, and call it a day. 
 

 

 

 

[Weezy1973]

When I was a manager I had favourites too. They were the ones that worked the hardest, delivered the best results, and were self-motivated. And those folks were relatively rare so trying to keep them was a priority for myself and the company. And that generally looked a lot like special treatment.

[Alvi]

On 5/15/2022 at 1:23 PM, MrFurley said:

• She threw a birthday party for him and had the entire office sign his card
  • None of us have had that treatment
• On a business trip, she threw him a surprise work anniversary party with all the bells and whistles
  • None of us have had that treatment
• On said business trip, we had a team dinner - the favorite said it was group choice
  • Where did we wind up going? A restaurant over an hour away that the boss knew he would like.

Report her for what exactly? Unless this is somehow interferes with your work performance. Which it is absolutely does not. Just do your job to the best of your ability and stop worrying about this guy and the "special treatment" that he gets. She may or may not have an affair with him but I don't think this is relevant to your job anyway. JUST DO WHATEVER YOU ARE PAID TO DO. Seriously. She is not mistreating you in any way, so take a deep breath and LET IT GO. And since you are getting a free meal out of it all, what are you complaining about? Maybe it is not your favorite restaurant but since she is paying for all you guys, what is your beef?

P.S. You don't have to sign any b-cards, you don't have to attend any parties, you don't have to go to any restaurants for a team dinner. 

On 5/15/2022 at 6:41 PM, BrinnM said:

well she could’ve used a company credit card - how would you know?

That very well might be. And it is very well might be possible that the company approves.
 

On 5/15/2022 at 5:05 PM, MrFurley said:

Trying not to fall to office gossip

Well, try harder. Also, try to discourage others from doing the office gossip. Tell them to focus on their job instead.

 

[MrFurley]

Welp. Bringing this back to the top. It finally came to a head. We've had an influx of new employees on the team since my last post.

Last Thursday, even though I recommended  (due to all of your advice here) not saying anything. One of the new hires complained to HR. Citing that our boss and coworker were having a picnic lunch just the two of them for all the company to see! Couple that with them running off to do a promotional tiktok for our satellite office. All of us were off or worked from home that day except for the two of them, so we're not even sure how the new hire found all of this out. (Word spreads fast I guess)

 

What do you think is gonna happen now?

[basil67]

Is anything they are doing against the company rules?  

[Alvi]

1 hour ago, MrFurley said:

Welp. Bringing this back to the top. It finally came to a head. We've had an influx of new employees on the team since my last post.

Last Thursday, even though I recommended  (due to all of your advice here) not saying anything. One of the new hires complained to HR. Citing that our boss and coworker were having a picnic lunch just the two of them for all the company to see! Couple that with them running off to do a promotional tiktok for our satellite office. All of us were off or worked from home that day except for the two of them, so we're not even sure how the new hire found all of this out. (Word spreads fast I guess)

 

What do you think is gonna happen now?

Oh, good grief, lol. Unless the two of them were having picnic naked or something or were behaving really inappropriately, what is there to complain about? Doesn't look good for a new hire, no way how you spin things. Seriously, stay away from this person, he is toxic. Someone to watch out for. Even if they are going to be reprehended, this person is going to do some backstabbing, mark my word.

1 hour ago, MrFurley said:

Couple that with them running off to do a promotional tiktok for our satellite office.

So, promoting your workplace is bad? Is it somehow against the work rules to leave together to promote a workplace? 

 I am curious, what is HR is going to do? Please, do let us know. This is interesting.

[Wiseman2]

Is he getting unfair treatment in the form of raises promotions or other tangible types of favouritism? If not your supervisor can mentor him and include him in whatever work related activities she sees fit and believes he is suited for. If he is junior to you and getting more frequently raises or promotions that could be a reason to file a claim about .

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, MrFurley said:

One of the new hires complained to HR. Citing that our boss and coworker were having a picnic lunch just the two of them for all the company to see. do a promotional tiktok for our satellite office.

What, exactly, was this new employee's complaint? Certainly a promotional video is nothing egregious? When you say 'picnic lunch for all to see', do you mean inappropriate romantic activity on company time?