jerrygordon3 Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 Broke up w my gf like 8 weeks ago. She sort of deserved it cause I feel like she was an energy vampire. But also cooled off and tried to mend it. She said no. Told me to move on. Then writes me periodically. Posts heart break stuff. Following the breakup spent like 4 weeks trying hard to work things out. Maybe more. I gave her time to recover. She never admitted to any of her wrongs. I gave her time to come around. I tried. I love her but she is such a drama queen it's exhausting sometimes. Not always but she can be. Anyways she posts all this stuff about us on IG and sees that I've moved on and started enjoying my life. So I reach out and told her I always loved her and have waited for her to give me anything to go off of. She writes me for weeks dragging me back into a position where I'm pining for her again and then, good luck Jerry. I wish you all the best. Just a repeat of the banging my head against the wall sort of behavior that I expect from a 15 year old. She talks at an extent about the profound love we had and how she hoped for a future and I tell her it's what I wanted but she's given me nothing to go off of. Then dismisses me and wishes me the best. It just.. it's honestly the most frustrating person I've dealt with. I've had plentyl of relationships and this is just mind bending brain melting frustrating BS 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 5 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: just mind bending brain melting frustrating BS Is she still in whatever country you are in? Have you seen her or know her whereabouts? All you can do to stop the madness is delete and block her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps. Are you still visiting/living in Asia? Is she? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerrygordon3 Posted May 21, 2022 Author Share Posted May 21, 2022 Just now, Wiseman2 said: Is she still in whatever country you are in? Have you seen her or know her whereabouts? All you can do to stop the madness is delete and block her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps. Are you still visiting/living in Asia? Is she? No she's in a different country but as soon as I'm moving on and happy I somehow see she's starting to act loving again so I reach out and just get tossed into some whirlpool conversation for a week and then she's just suddenly like I wish you all the best after I'm like well if you felt this way why haven't you reached out or given me any clue that you want to meet. Talk. Work things out. She's so stupiddddddd. All she has to do is give me one damn word of yes. Let's meet. Like tons of time telling me how important this relationship is and the future together then when I say well why haven't you given me anything to work with, just... Take care Jerry. I want to bang my head against the wall. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 26 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: No she's in a different country. She's so stupiddddddd. I say well why haven't you given me anything to work with, just... Take care Jerry. She doesn't want to get back together so delete and block her . If she's "so stupiddddddd", then stop engaging in this .Why make yourself crazy over it? It's over so enjoy life and move forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 You're bringing this onto yourself if you're writing to her and keeping her on your social media. Leave her alone if she's an "energy vampire". If you go for people like that, then change. You can't change her, only yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 (edited) @jerrygordon3 You feel crazy because she's not good for you. She doesn't sound like she's good for anyone actually. But also, you are part of the problem. You continue to respond to her and engage with her. Continue to keep her on social media so that you can see all her updates. Although you broke it off, you failed to follow through establishing healthy boundaries for yourself, so that you can heal and move forward. You failed because you're not over it and she knows that. She's going to continue using that weakness to help herself get over you, and find someone new to be with. Be strong for yourself. Time and space will clear your mind and you'll find yourself looking back at this situation with a clearer head. You may even find you don't want to talk to her anymore. - Beach Edited May 21, 2022 by Beachead 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 2 hours ago, jerrygordon3 said: So I reach out and told her I always loved her and have waited for her to give me anything to go off of. She writes me for weeks dragging me back into a position where I'm pining for her again and then, good luck Jerry. I wish you all the best. Just a repeat of the banging my head against the wall sort of behavior that I expect from a 15 year old. Sounds like she's enjoying this power you've given her to play your strings. Up and down again and again like a yo-yo. You realize that's never going to change don't you –– crazy needs an audience, or a victim, to play against. Otherwise, well... it's good of you to keep raising your hand, saying pick men pick me, when she feels the need for a golden sprinkle. You're doing the world a service by keeping her occupied and entertained... when you could be selfishly enjoying some plain old self-flagellation. You're the yang for her yin. It's big of you to choose that sacrifice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 3 hours ago, jerrygordon3 said: She writes me for weeks dragging me back into a position where I'm pining for her again She can't do this unless you let her. And you've been letting her, and seeking her attention with your social media posts of you "moving on". If you don't like this drama, there is a very simple solution - block her everywhere. Otheriwse, you're a volunteer who enables your own strife. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 Sorry Jerry but the reason she acts that way towards you is she sees you as weak. She know no matter how bratty she acts you will be there waiting for her to come around. Women don't respect men who do that. If you want to see a change block her for at least a month and give her a good scare. That's your only chance here. Normally I would advise to leave her in the dust but I know you won't so the other is my suggestion. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 (edited) Wow. You sure seem to do a good job feeding the "energy vampire" with a steady diet of your energy and attention. I've got two words for you: Stop it. Just stop it. Here, I'll spell it out for you. S T O P. New word: I T. Stop it. Ok that will be $5 and I'm afraid I don't make change. 😉 https://youtu.be/Ow0lr63y4Mw Edited May 21, 2022 by Mrin 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 The reason why she acts that way toward you is because you allow it. You continue to engage with her - it’s hard for her to make you feel “crazy” if you are not actually in contact with the woman. How do you find these women? It’s literally the same story, the same relationship drama, time and time again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 You're just banging your head against a brick wall. The wall isn't at fault. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 8 hours ago, jerrygordon3 said: she is such a drama queen And that’s why you’re in this cycle. She likes this cycle, because her drama queen self thrives on it. That’s who she is. You, on the other hand, don’t like this cycle, because you want peace & calmness. Yet, you’re feeding and nurturing the cycle, hoping she will change and give you what you want. She won’t. And she won’t change, because normal will always be boring to her. And entitlement is her lifeblood. She sounds like a blood-sucking vampire. You will never be at peace if you let her manipulate you. And that’s what she does. She manipulates you with her words and IG posts, and you fall for it hook, line, and sinker. All she wants is you to engage. And that’s what you do. You engage. Stop. Engaging. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerrygordon3 Posted May 21, 2022 Author Share Posted May 21, 2022 6 hours ago, stillafool said: Sorry Jerry but the reason she acts that way towards you is she sees you as weak. She know no matter how bratty she acts you will be there waiting for her to come around. Women don't respect men who do that. If you want to see a change block her for at least a month and give her a good scare. That's your only chance here. Normally I would advise to leave her in the dust but I know you won't so the other is my suggestion. she definitely doesnt see me as weak. I've broken up with people easily and always moved on quick. Im a cold a**h***. I broke up with her for being a dramatic queen and contrubting nothing to the relationship after I dumped 4k on getting us out of a warzone and all she did was treat my friends like therapists and complain constantly to them that I wasnt romantic enough. as soon as she told me to move on i started dating a younger more beautiful woman who has won beauty pageants etc. my friends posted photos of us all together. I didnt post anything because I dont post stuff with girl on it. then every girl in my inbox starts acting like my gf and asking me why im talking to them if I ahve a gf etc so I just dont post that stuff. but my ex folllows my friend. and then suddenly shes contacting me being caddy. then posting heartbroken stuff all over her IG and motivational quotes with some morgan freeman narration talking about losing the love of you life and posting s*** about our horoscopes. so I reached out and shes was like youlll never find a love like this, youre depressed and sad because you miss me etc. and I was like no... actually not at all..you just seem angry that Im doing good and youre the one who told me to move on. then a week went by and I kept saying, I waited for you to ask me to see you. I waited. I gave you time. you told me to move on so I did. If you loved me so much why are you arguing all week with me about this new girl but never offer me a solution. shes stupid. she just wants to play games until she feels like I would be interested in courting her again then sends me some motivational video about: I hope you remember me for the love, for the potential future we had.. all that. the new girl is 25 and she acts 35. nastya is 28 almost 29 and makes me tear my hair out. she has zero relationship skills once shes on this milton bradley game s*** Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 21, 2022 Share Posted May 21, 2022 The situation you're in now is not her fault. It doesn't make a bit of sense that you miss her and the same paragraph complain about how infuriating she is. All this "BS" has been created by your own indecision combined with the idea that someone would change who they are for us. And the fact that you're choosing to interact and follow in social media. You are your own worst enemy here. At this point, she doesn't want you back, and given that you dumped her, nor should she want you back. But if she changes her mind, you need to be decisive. Thing is, you know who she is, so your choices are either: accept and love her as she is uncomplainingly or don't get back together with her. Do you want to love and cherish her for exactly who she is or move on? If it's the former, there may be strategies, but if you can't take her back without wanting to change her into someone else, just delete and block her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerrygordon3 Posted May 22, 2022 Author Share Posted May 22, 2022 Just now, jerrygordon3 said: she definitely doesnt see me as weak. I've broken up with people easily and always moved on quick. Im a cold a**h***. I broke up with her for being a dramatic queen and contrubting nothing to the relationship after I dumped 4k on getting us out of a warzone and all she did was treat my friends like therapists and complain constantly to them that I wasnt romantic enough. as soon as she told me to move on i started dating a younger more beautiful woman who has won beauty pageants etc. my friends posted photos of us all together. I didnt post anything because I dont post stuff with girl on it. then every girl in my inbox starts acting like my gf and asking me why im talking to them if I ahve a gf etc so I just dont post that stuff. but my ex folllows my friend. and then suddenly shes contacting me being caddy. then posting heartbroken stuff all over her IG and motivational quotes with some morgan freeman narration talking about losing the love of you life and posting s*** about our horoscopes. so I reached out and shes was like youlll never find a love like this, youre depressed and sad because you miss me etc. and I was like no... actually not at all..you just seem angry that Im doing good and youre the one who told me to move on. then a week went by and I kept saying, I waited for you to ask me to see you. I waited. I gave you time. you told me to move on so I did. If you loved me so much why are you arguing all week with me about this new girl but never offer me a solution. shes stupid. she just wants to play games until she feels like I would be interested in courting her again then sends me some motivational video about: I hope you remember me for the love, for the potential future we had.. all that. the new girl is 25 and she acts 35. nastya is 28 almost 29 and makes me tear my hair out. she has zero relationship skills once shes on this milton bradley game s*** I'm also extremely loving/ respecftul, dont call names, tender.... non abusive.. all that... BUT a cold a**h*** if you mess around. I get girls easy and her and I both know it. she messed around and released me back into the wild and a week later I had 200 matches on tinder. im in bali... what did she expect. im also the first guy shes ever " loved". Her mom said its the first time she talked about marrying someone... I wanted to marry her too.. but it was real for both of us... and I am also the first guy who broke up with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerrygordon3 Posted May 22, 2022 Author Share Posted May 22, 2022 2 minutes ago, basil67 said: The situation you're in now is not her fault. It doesn't make a bit of sense that you miss her and the same paragraph complain about how infuriating she is. All this "BS" has been created by your own indecision combined with the idea that someone would change who they are for us. And the fact that you're choosing to interact and follow in social media. You are your own worst enemy here. At this point, she doesn't want you back, and given that you dumped her, nor should she want you back. But if she changes her mind, you need to be decisive. Thing is, you know who she is, so your choices are either: accept and love her as she is uncomplainingly or don't get back together with her. Do you want to love and cherish her for exactly who she is or move on? If it's the former, there may be strategies, but if you can't take her back without wanting to change her into someone else, just delete and block her. i dont follow her, shes following me and reading all my stories etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerrygordon3 Posted May 22, 2022 Author Share Posted May 22, 2022 Just now, jerrygordon3 said: i dont follow her, shes following me and reading all my stories etc. shes used to being a pain in the ass... its true. shes not horrible. just incredibly frustrating and has more games than milton bradley. but.. I did truly truly love her. and she loved me. we had a deep relationship. but i couldnt handle the s*** anymore once the war started. she was acting a fool constantly. i dumped her and then tried to make up for it. she just plays games now. she had every opportunity to try and communicate effectively and ask to meet. even something.. a crumble. a tidbit. something. she gets right to the point, and then never asks. never gives me an oopening. just argues for a week, then says goodbye I wish you all the best..its infuriating. ( side note, im actually educated and write for a living and teach english, have degrees in medicine. I swear im not an idiot. I just am hammering the keyboard fast cause im not getting gradded so sorry for typos.) Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 22, 2022 Share Posted May 22, 2022 5 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: i dont follow her, shes following me and reading all my stories etc. How do you know what she was writing on IG? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerrygordon3 Posted May 22, 2022 Author Share Posted May 22, 2022 10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: She doesn't want to get back together so delete and block her . If she's "so stupiddddddd", then stop engaging in this .Why make yourself crazy over it? It's over so enjoy life and move forward. i agree dude... its hard to convey over text. shes posting the saddest s***. its so obvious she loves me a lot. ive known her for yearsssssss before we dated... and she never posted stuff during her breakup w her ex. its just obvious shes hurting. and I never wanted that for her. its like a knife in a wall she ran into. she didnt have to leave. she didnt have to act out. shes not the only refugee from ukraine there are millions. she didnt have to isolate or push me away. she didnt have to do any of those things. i tried to talk sense into her and she just went off anyways... but she finally pushed me to a point I had to let go and then gets heartbroken when she sees im doing just fine... come on... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerrygordon3 Posted May 22, 2022 Author Share Posted May 22, 2022 Just now, basil67 said: How do you know what she was writing on IG? cause I clicked on her prfile for the first time in a month cause she kept reading my stories Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerrygordon3 Posted May 22, 2022 Author Share Posted May 22, 2022 8 hours ago, Beachead said: @jerrygordon3 You feel crazy because she's not good for you. She doesn't sound like she's good for anyone actually. But also, you are part of the problem. You continue to respond to her and engage with her. Continue to keep her on social media so that you can see all her updates. Although you broke it off, you failed to follow through establishing healthy boundaries for yourself, so that you can heal and move forward. You failed because you're not over it and she knows that. She's going to continue using that weakness to help herself get over you, and find someone new to be with. Be strong for yourself. Time and space will clear your mind and you'll find yourself looking back at this situation with a clearer head. You may even find you don't want to talk to her anymore. - Beach You failed because you're not over it and she knows that. She's going to continue using that weakness to help herself get over you, and find someone new to be with. thats true. and thats how it feels. im the one who broke up w her. im the one who moved on quick. shes all hurt... but she knows i love her. the sensible thing would have been at any point to try and talk effectively. but nope. every time i reach out cause she seems sad she dances around, seems all upset and says s*** like " if this is ever going to work out"... then back to, its over take care. granted the last few days I explicitly said im pursuing potential jobs and cant come back to ukraine regardless so made it pretty evident I wasnt putting her in my future. but left it open for discussion. I said look I think about it. I miss it there too. i wanted those things too. if you asked me at any point to come back, to meet, to talk things out. if you made it seem like you wanted to meet. something. give me something. then maybe I might find my way back there and we could talk in person. and she gives me nothing.. just a week of headaches. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 22, 2022 Share Posted May 22, 2022 3 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: shes used to being a pain in the ass... its true. shes not horrible. just incredibly frustrating and has more games than milton bradley. but.. I did truly truly love her. and she loved me. we had a deep relationship. but i couldnt handle the s*** anymore once the war started. she was acting a fool constantly. i dumped her and then tried to make up for it. she just plays games now. she had every opportunity to try and communicate effectively and ask to meet. even something.. a crumble. a tidbit. something. she gets right to the point, and then never asks. never gives me an oopening. just argues for a week, then says goodbye I wish you all the best..its infuriating. ( side note, im actually educated and write for a living and teach english, have degrees in medicine. I swear im not an idiot. I just am hammering the keyboard fast cause im not getting gradded so sorry for typos.) The drama is not all on her side. Dumping someone and trying to make up is also playing games. Allowing her to follow you while you're seeing someone else is playing games. She can't argue if you don't argue back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 22, 2022 Share Posted May 22, 2022 5 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: cause I clicked on her prfile for the first time in a month cause she kept reading my stories So you do have access to her social media. Again, you're your own worst enemy here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerrygordon3 Posted May 22, 2022 Author Share Posted May 22, 2022 6 hours ago, Mrin said: Wow. You sure seem to do a good job feeding the "energy vampire" with a steady diet of your energy and attention. I've got two words for you: Stop it. Just stop it. Here, I'll spell it out for you. S T O P. New word: I T. Stop it. Ok that will be $5 and I'm afraid I don't make change. 😉 https://youtu.be/Ow0lr63y4Mw lol thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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