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Why does this person make me feel crazy


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stillafool
1 hour ago, basil67 said:

 Yes, sometimes they may still call us on the phone, so we'd tell them that there is nothing to talk about.

Back then I would change my number after every break up to be sure to move on.  A bit drastic but it worked like a charm.  I was never looking forward to their call because I knew they couldn't get back in touch if they wanted to.

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jerrygordon3

Sounds advice from everyone and thank you. I want some form of stability, and also I sacrificed long term wealth to travel like this so I'm trying to find a way to do it all online now, and prefer a partner who also makes good money. I want to be able to save money as well and a country with high wages is a plus. 

 

As far as the girl goes, shes in love with me and I her. I know we are both recovering and its sad to see it all go but I think its for the best. Who knows what the future will hold. Perhaps someday Ill be back there and run into her, perhaps ill meet someone else along the way. I just want stability above all else and the part of me that is self destructive in a way is that im always thinking of travel. So when i get somewhere I still imagine living somewhere else. So i think I need a partner who can also afford to travel. 

 

I truly appreciate all your unbaised help and advice in being kind about this. i really do

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A rolling stone gathers no moss. You have your freedom to couchsurf the globe which is great, but it's not consistent with stability or partnership.

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9 hours ago, jerrygordon3 said:

I just want stability above all else and the part of me that is self destructive in a way is that im always thinking of travel. So when i get somewhere I still imagine living somewhere else. So i think I need a partner who can also afford to travel. 

Just a word of caution, there are individuals who screen out for this (if you're meeting new people), specifically delete/block. A person who appears restless and nomadic may appeal to some if your wants/values coincide but the likelihood is very slim that you'll find any form of stability in this type of lifestyle.

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On 5/25/2022 at 5:46 PM, glows said:

Just a word of caution, there are individuals who screen out for this (if you're meeting new people), specifically delete/block. A person who appears restless and nomadic may appeal to some if your wants/values coincide but the likelihood is very slim that you'll find any form of stability in this type of lifestyle.

I want stability and love. I wanted it in Ukraine but s*** happened. I'm interested in travel etc. but I want more now. So I'm looking for a home base... Just not sure where to start because there are some countries I love and others I think I would love. I think now it's more about finding either an affordable fun country where I can freelance and make decent money or a country with higher wages like Germany where I can get a job and have a little more independence to travel with a partner.

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25 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said:

I want stability and love. I wanted it in Ukraine but s*** happened. I'm interested in travel etc. but I want more now. So I'm looking for a home base... Just not sure where to start because there are some countries I love and others I think I would love. I think now it's more about finding either an affordable fun country where I can freelance and make decent money or a country with higher wages like Germany where I can get a job and have a little more independence to travel with a partner.

I am very sorry that things fell apart. It's good to want more and be thinking of the future. Start with a little more research in an area and see what it takes to relocate there permanently (think long term). This is of course all up to you and what your long term plans are. I want to add that the above is a note only and not meant to discourage you from your path or any other dream that you have traveling. Find a way to help yourself move forward, do something that's not just new and exciting but gives you meaning too. Whatever it is, be at peace with what you choose and move with confidence that it's what you want out of life. This will eventually influence the way you meet new people also. 

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53 minutes ago, glows said:

I am very sorry that things fell apart. It's good to want more and be thinking of the future. Start with a little more research in an area and see what it takes to relocate there permanently (think long term). This is of course all up to you and what your long term plans are. I want to add that the above is a note only and not meant to discourage you from your path or any other dream that you have traveling. Find a way to help yourself move forward, do something that's not just new and exciting but gives you meaning too. Whatever it is, be at peace with what you choose and move with confidence that it's what you want out of life. This will eventually influence the way you meet new people also. 

Thank you for your advice. It's a little hard cause I gave up a great girl and high-paid job to travel and now I feel a bit like a deadbeat. Making chump change and trying to still learn to trade. At the same time, I want a place to call home and really prefer to make better money than I am now. So ya, England or Germany seem like the best bets but I also would need a job. Not the end of the world but I'm also tired of just traveling and want stability. I'm considering going back to Ukraine, Albania ( which is cheap and beautiful), or staying in Asia which is also cheapish. So many choices but it's all about finding something long-term where I want to stay. Bali is pretty amazing and can actually see myself staying here long-term. Who knows. I'm usually a really happy person but I've noticed I've been down a lot and sort of grumpy. I realize that it's all about having an inner circle. Everything else doesn't really matter. friendships and relationships are important. 

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On 5/24/2022 at 10:32 PM, jerrygordon3 said:

Sounds advice from everyone and thank you. I want some form of stability, and also I sacrificed long term wealth to travel like this so I'm trying to find a way to do it all online now, and prefer a partner who also makes good money. I want to be able to save money as well and a country with high wages is a plus. 

 

As far as the girl goes, shes in love with me and I her. I know we are both recovering and its sad to see it all go but I think its for the best. Who knows what the future will hold. Perhaps someday Ill be back there and run into her, perhaps ill meet someone else along the way. I just want stability above all else and the part of me that is self destructive in a way is that im always thinking of travel. So when i get somewhere I still imagine living somewhere else. So i think I need a partner who can also afford to travel. 

 

I truly appreciate all your unbaised help and advice in being kind about this. i really do

Women who can handle this lifestyle may be hard to come by.

While I must admit that you have an incredible gift by being able to travel like you have and not many people have the capability or the courage to do so.

"There is no man more complete than the one who travelled a lot, who changed the shape of his thoughts and his life twenty times."

Your life will reach a stage where you want a woman you can count on and trust as a stable part of your life. It means you know who you are coming home to. Too many fights, arguments, or inconsistencies, such as the one with your ex, will make you question who or what you have (or had) committed yourself to.

Perhaps you can come up with a new strategy to balance travel and these relationships as you continue your travels. In other words, keep things light, but always keep your eyes open for the real deal. Most of all, it’s the discipline and respect to be completely open and honest with everyone everything you do.

It may not be for life. In a few years, maybe you'll settle down with family and friends close by. You'll want them to know who you are. One day, you'll want a family and to fall in love, but not right now.

The pressure to stay home and get settled will never go away. People will find reasons not to do things.

The decision to sacrifice for your dreams rests with you.

Edited by Alpacalia
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4 hours ago, jerrygordon3 said:

. I realize that it's all about having an inner circle. 

This seems indecisive and contradictory. How can you have an inner circle when you keep running around the globe undecided about everything from where to live to what to do. It's also unclear how you hope to have an inner circle when you keep passing through countries where you don't speak the language or understand the culture. Have you considered making your hometown your home base and getting a profession that affords or involves travelling?

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9 hours ago, jerrygordon3 said:

So ya, England or Germany seem like the best bets

So, just out of curiosity, and a practical question: How is this going to work in terms of residence and work permits? You can't usually just go to western Europe and start a job with an employer without the proper paperwork. I mean, so far you've been basically self-employed, which means you could theoretically stay wherever you wanted, probably on a tourist visa, but that's hardly a stable lifestyle (not only because of the time-limits that come with tourist visas, and the leaving and returning that would be required, in order to avoid overstaying your visa). So I am just curious as to how this can be accomplished. Do you have sponsors in those particular countries, or do you already have multiple citizenships?

Edited by BrinnM
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18 hours ago, BrinnM said:

So, just out of curiosity, and a practical question: How is this going to work in terms of residence and work permits? You can't usually just go to western Europe and start a job with an employer without the proper paperwork. I mean, so far you've been basically self-employed, which means you could theoretically stay wherever you wanted, probably on a tourist visa, but that's hardly a stable lifestyle (not only because of the time-limits that come with tourist visas, and the leaving and returning that would be required, in order to avoid overstaying your visa). So I am just curious as to how this can be accomplished. Do you have sponsors in those particular countries, or do you already have multiple citizenships?

Germany is the one country where you don't need to speak the language to work, they have an insanely good job market, high wages, and hire foreigners with no problem. The US visa is 3 months to find work, then your work sponsors your visa and you can stay indefinite as long as you maintain work and pay your bills/ insurance. As far as the UK Brexit really screwed things up but when I was living there I lived with a few foreigners who had gotten jobs and a visa. 

 

As far as most other countries ( 2nd world) money talks. You can stay forever if you can afford the visa fees. So far Bali is my favorite place ( Canggu specifically) but the visas are tricky and the gov. doesn't mess around at all. Vietnam and Thailand seem a lot easier to stay long term. EU/Schengen ( spelling?) 90 days. Albania ( one of my favorites now 90 days as well but a visa is easy to get). Ukraine is 90 days and the 1-year visa will cost 1200-2k USD then you can repeat annually for around 600-1k. 

 

Being a traveler you have to figure out your style. I didn't know mine. I thought I would be fine bouncing around forever. That lasted a year before I realized I needed an inner circle + home base. I chose Ukraine. well.. it sort of chose me. I love Odesa now. It's very affordable but the English-speaking pop is somewhat low ( I learned quite a bit of Russian), and the women are 50s style archaic. Men shouldn't have emotions, complain about their lives, or show any sign of weakness + pay for everything. Gifts for Xmas are given the night before new years, they celebrate Xmas on Jan 10. Got in trouble w gf when I had no gift... oops. so ya norms/ cultures are different and you have to be flexible. That's a big problem. there are trade-offs in any lifestyle. nobody doesn't get to pay the price. if you choose to stay single forever the price you pay is loneliness and surface-level relationships. if you stay in America your entire life you pay a different price. I chose my price and I'm ok with that. Ill never go back to America but I do have criteria for long term stays. So far the spots I've stayed and can see myself staying in are England ( expensive but doable, pop/culture similar) Bali, Albania, Ukraine, and Thailand. In these places, however, you pay as a man. the cultures are different. langauge barriers exist. but there are fun and nice people in every place in the world. right now my favorite place I've lived for all of the above with the exception of being a wallet is Odesa, UA. It's a super fun city and I love it there. But should I go back? I haven't healed from my last relationship and if I go back I just know it's going to be a bunch of BS and I may or may not end up back w my ex. So for me, I think it's best to move back to Albania, or Thailand and just work online and make 5x the usual wage for that country, live cheap, save, build relationships and then eventually create a decent amount of wealth. the only other option I have is to go to England or Germany and get a job. but.... idk.. then what, save and buy rentals in a different country? building wealth is the elusive thing here. I just want to be stable and happy and find a place to grow old. I've had enough excitement. A vacation once in a while is more than enough for me

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On 5/31/2022 at 12:31 PM, Wiseman2 said:

This seems indecisive and contradictory. How can you have an inner circle when you keep running around the globe undecided about everything from where to live to what to do. It's also unclear how you hope to have an inner circle when you keep passing through countries where you don't speak the language or understand the culture. Have you considered making your hometown your home base and getting a profession that affords or involves travelling?

I have thought of this, but the decision is a big one. Which country will I stay in long term. Not sure if you like the country until you visit. It's a slow process

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