Girl I'm dating still adding new photos to her dating profile despite saying she can only focus on dating one person at a time

[anonymousparrot1]

Girl I’m dating still adding new photos to her dating profile

 

First of all we’ve only been on two dates and we have a third in a couple of days. We haven’t spoken about being exclusive so that’s understandable, but she has told me when she dates someone she prefers to focus on that one person and mentioned to me that she wasn’t dating anyone else asking if I was dating anyone else too.

 

She shows high amount of interest in me, has taken photos of the two of us already and already told me that she prefers the guy to ask her to be their girlfriend rather than her asking them and obviously until that happens she considers herself single, etc. She was also telling me what she likes in a relationship, but obviously I’ve only had 2 going on 3 dates so for me I’d have to wait a other month before asking.

 

My issue is, whilst she says all of this, she’s still uploading new photos to the dating profile we met on.

 

Whilst I understand we both have every right to date whoever this early on, if she’s told me she only focuses on one person when dating then why continue to upload new photos? To me it feels like she’s making do until something better comes along based on what I’ve mentioned. Am I wrong thinking this or should I be cautious?

[ccas93]

25 minutes ago, anonymousparrot1 said:

Girl I’m dating still adding new photos to her dating profile

 

First of all we’ve only been on two dates and we have a third in a couple of days. We haven’t spoken about being exclusive so that’s understandable, but she has told me when she dates someone she prefers to focus on that one person and mentioned to me that she wasn’t dating anyone else asking if I was dating anyone else too.

 

She shows high amount of interest in me, has taken photos of the two of us already and already told me that she prefers the guy to ask her to be their girlfriend rather than her asking them and obviously until that happens she considers herself single, etc. She was also telling me what she likes in a relationship, but obviously I’ve only had 2 going on 3 dates so for me I’d have to wait a other month before asking.

 

My issue is, whilst she says all of this, she’s still uploading new photos to the dating profile we met on.

 

Whilst I understand we both have every right to date whoever this early on, if she’s told me she only focuses on one person when dating then why continue to upload new photos? To me it feels like she’s making do until something better comes along based on what I’ve mentioned. Am I wrong thinking this or should I be cautious?

I'd be cautious. Any time I've ever experienced this, my gut feeling ended up being right. 

[anonymousparrot1]

12 minutes ago, ccas93 said:

I'd be cautious. Any time I've ever experienced this, my gut feeling ended up being right. 

Last time I noticed this was a girl I was dating last year. Saw she updated her profile after 3 dates and I had a gut feeling something was up. She ended up cancelling our 4th date and ghosted me. This is why this worries me, the photo she took at the football today is now on her dating profile which says to me I can’t be that good for her if she’s updating her photos despite saying she can only focus on dating one at a time lol

[Alvi]

1 hour ago, anonymousparrot1 said:

but she has told me when she dates someone she prefers to focus on that one person and mentioned to me that she wasn’t dating

 

I think you misunderstood a bit what she was saying to you. A key word here is "when she dates someone." The two of you are not dating yet, you've only had couple of dates. Dating and having a few dates  is an entirely different animal. What she is saying is that when she meets someone and enters into a relationship with that said person, she is solely going to focus on that person. Once a relationship is announced, that's it, she is not going to meet with other guys. But up till that happens,  she is single and ready to mingle.

1 hour ago, anonymousparrot1 said:

she wasn’t dating anyone else asking if I was dating anyone else too.

She asked you whether you were dating someone at this time, not if you are still going on the dates with other women. It is very much possible that her, herself, is not dating anybody else either. But again, going on few dates (with either one person or multiple people) and actually dating is not the same.

Maybe she is just an attention seeker. Maybe she is not seeing anybody else besides you but wants to be told by strangers how beautiful, wonderful and gorgeous she is.

Edited May 23, 2022 by Alvi

[Calmandfocused]

Fully agree with you Op.

It’s not that she’s doing anything wrong. It’s the fact that she misled you to think something different. She didn’t have to say anything at all.

 

I had a guy lie to me about this very thing in very early dating. Gave me the “I really like you and I don’t want to see anyone else, I’m thinking about taking my profile down …”blah blah 
 

Then he disappeared from my matches so I thought he had deleted his profile ..…

Then my friend saw him with shiny new pics…. 

I didn’t see him again! 
 

People keeping their options open I can understand. People purposely misleading are not people I wish to date.
 

I get it Op. I’d be put off too if I were you. 

[glows]

I would think something is off, yes. Would I care to be bothered? Not likely. It’s too early. I would just stop asking her out and let her know it’s not a match. 

Go with your instincts.

Keep in mind that some individuals like changing or updating their profiles regularly. She may be doing it habitually or without thinking like she updates her IG or some other social media, not realizing the impression it gives. 

Edited May 23, 2022 by glows

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, anonymousparrot1 said:

 we’ve only been on two dates  

,she’s still uploading new photos to the dating profile we met on.

True, after 2 dates you're not exclusive and still talking to and meeting others. You're on the dating app as well since you're noticing her activities there.

It's understandable that you may not want to waste your time if she's not that interested. Step back and continue talking to and meeting others if you feel she's "meh" and killing time while shopping around.

[bene]

Two dates is not much so it’s difficult to say. 
Adding new pictures means that she is still looking and open to new contacts. One reason could be that she’s not that into you. But she might actually really like you and mitigate the risk to get attached too soon because after two dates she is also not sure if you are into her. 

Time will tell.

[anonymousparrot1]

11 hours ago, Alvi said:

 

I think you misunderstood a bit what she was saying to you. A key word here is "when she dates someone." The two of you are not dating yet, you've only had couple of dates. Dating and having a few dates  is an entirely different animal. What she is saying is that when she meets someone and enters into a relationship with that said person, she is solely going to focus on that person. Once a relationship is announced, that's it, she is not going to meet with other guys. But up till that happens,  she is single and ready to mingle.

She asked you whether you were dating someone at this time, not if you are still going on the dates with other women. It is very much possible that her, herself, is not dating anybody else either. But again, going on few dates (with either one person or multiple people) and actually dating is not the same.

Maybe she is just an attention seeker. Maybe she is not seeing anybody else besides you but wants to be told by strangers how beautiful, wonderful and gorgeous she is.

Sorry to reword it properly, she said she can only date one person at a time as she mentioned it can get confusing going out on dates with multiple people as well as time/money spent. She made it clear to me it was just me she was going on a date with and then asked if I was going on dates with anyone else, in which I responded no. But yeah I do see your point, she did mention that until I define the relationship with her then she classes herself as single still.

I feel like we’ve hit it off and I’m already considering the thought of wanting her to be my GF, but we’re only about to have our 3rd date. I’d like to take it easy and not rush into it obviously, but I’d consider asking her in a months time maybe.

Yeah she might just like the attention true. She told me it was her first time doing online dating.

I think as long as she’s still going on dates with me then that’s all that matters for now

[anonymousparrot1]

11 hours ago, Calmandfocused said:

Fully agree with you Op.

It’s not that she’s doing anything wrong. It’s the fact that she misled you to think something different. She didn’t have to say anything at all.

 

I had a guy lie to me about this very thing in very early dating. Gave me the “I really like you and I don’t want to see anyone else, I’m thinking about taking my profile down …”blah blah 
 

Then he disappeared from my matches so I thought he had deleted his profile ..…

Then my friend saw him with shiny new pics…. 

I didn’t see him again! 
 

People keeping their options open I can understand. People purposely misleading are not people I wish to date.
 

I get it Op. I’d be put off too if I were you. 

Yeah had that happen before.

She basically asked me how I go about defining a relationship and she made it clear to me she prefers the guy to ask her and that she likes a clear date for future anniversaries, etc. Also mentioned how she likes to be treated in a relationship like surprises, good morning texts, etc and said that obviously until I define the relationship then she’s still single. That’s fair enough.

Part of me thinks ah well I can’t be THAT good in her eyes if she’s still looking, but then I’m also think it’s early days, she’s entitled to look but also hedge her bets incase we didn’t work out.

I guess I need to focus on her actions and just continue to see if she wants to go on dates really

[anonymousparrot1]

10 hours ago, glows said:

I would think something is off, yes. Would I care to be bothered? Not likely. It’s too early. I would just stop asking her out and let her know it’s not a match. 

Go with your instincts.

Keep in mind that some individuals like changing or updating their profiles regularly. She may be doing it habitually or without thinking like she updates her IG or some other social media, not realizing the impression it gives. 

Her other actions suggest interest but it is her first time with online dating. She’s done it after both of our dates. I’d think if I got to date 5 and she was still doing it then be more concerned but I guess I’ll find out if I keep asking her out on dates then try to define the relationship eventually 

[anonymousparrot1]

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

True, after 2 dates you're not exclusive and still talking to and meeting others. You're on the dating app as well since you're noticing her activities there.

It's understandable that you may not want to waste your time if she's not that interested. Step back and continue talking to and meeting others if you feel she's "meh" and killing time while shopping around.

I was speaking to someone else but did find it tiring speaking to multiple, mostly because of how well we’ve been hitting it off. Ideally I should keep my options open just in case but I guess maybe she’s thinking the same. I remember joking about “getting bored easily” and her eyes lit up but mentioned to her that was with a specific activities, not when it comes to her or dating. I also mentioned to her I saw her on bumble after she said she uses it as she jokingly thought I swiped left on her as she never saw me on it. She did say that it didn’t really matter if we matched on there as we were already speaking off the apps

I don’t get the “meh” feeling with her tbh. She’s quite responsive over text (but sometimes can leave me on read and reply later if she’s working), asks me questions, when we high five she locks her hands with me and when we kiss and I pull away it’s like she wants to continue. Definitely seeing positive signs so guess I just keep rolling with it

[anonymousparrot1]

1 hour ago, bene said:

Two dates is not much so it’s difficult to say. 
Adding new pictures means that she is still looking and open to new contacts. One reason could be that she’s not that into you. But she might actually really like you and mitigate the risk to get attached too soon because after two dates she is also not sure if you are into her. 

Time will tell.

Yeah she might be hedging her bets incase it doesn’t work out. On the last date she brought up “did you like my sarcastic reply haha” as she asked me before our date if we were still on for that night as she hadn’t heard from me all day, so maybe that made her think I didn’t seem into her. 
 

I think her actions agreeing to dates and how she acts, everything she does when we’re in person gives me confidence she does like me, so it could be that she isn’t sure how interested I am in her hence why she brought up wanting good morning/night texts etc. I don’t like to do this every day though 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, anonymousparrot1 said:

everything she does when we’re in person gives me confidence she does like me, so it could be that she isn’t sure how interested I am in her hence why she brought up wanting good morning/night texts etc.

Or she is insecure and thirsty looking for male attention.

[dramafreezone]

15 hours ago, anonymousparrot1 said:

Girl I’m dating still adding new photos to her dating profile

 

First of all we’ve only been on two dates and we have a third in a couple of days. We haven’t spoken about being exclusive so that’s understandable, but she has told me when she dates someone she prefers to focus on that one person and mentioned to me that she wasn’t dating anyone else asking if I was dating anyone else too.

 

She shows high amount of interest in me, has taken photos of the two of us already and already told me that she prefers the guy to ask her to be their girlfriend rather than her asking them and obviously until that happens she considers herself single, etc. She was also telling me what she likes in a relationship, but obviously I’ve only had 2 going on 3 dates so for me I’d have to wait a other month before asking.

 

My issue is, whilst she says all of this, she’s still uploading new photos to the dating profile we met on.

 

Whilst I understand we both have every right to date whoever this early on, if she’s told me she only focuses on one person when dating then why continue to upload new photos? To me it feels like she’s making do until something better comes along based on what I’ve mentioned. Am I wrong thinking this or should I be cautious?

It's only been two dates.  Take a deep breath and relax.

It would be a bigger concern if she were all in on you after only two dates.  In a sense she is surveying you along with the rest of the scene, which is where she should be after 2 dates.  Maybe someone else is in the picture that came before you, you have to remember that she had a romantic life in progress before she met you.  In any event it doesn't matter because it's so early.  If you're 3-4 months in and nothing has changed then maybe time to re-evaluate.

Also just disregard what she said about only dating one person.  Don't put too much stock into what people say, watch what they do.  And this is again too early to put too much stock into what she's doing, so just relax.

I'm getting the feeling that you're getting ahead of yourself and she may be getting that feeling too, which maybe is causing *her* to be cautious about you going too fast.  Just go with the flow and get out of your head.

Edited May 23, 2022 by dramafreezone

[glows]

Since you’ve decided to continue seeing her remain observant but have a positive attitude. Don’t look for constant issues or find ways to discourage yourself from seeing her again or expect the worst out of her. 

You’re dating to determine whether someone is compatible with you so do that and keep things simple for yourself. Let us know how it goes.

[SumGuy]

17 hours ago, anonymousparrot1 said:

Whilst I understand we both have every right to date whoever this early on, if she’s told me she only focuses on one person when dating then why continue to upload new photos? To me it feels like she’s making do until something better comes along based on what I’ve mentioned. Am I wrong thinking this or should I be cautious?

She made it very clear to you she views herself as single and not your girlfriend until you ask and she says yes.  

It makes sense you haven't asked yet, agree would be too soon for me.

I suspect she is simply hedging her bets as she has no idea what your intentions are.  She could well be only dating you and not accepting invites from others, but why not update her profile so it is ready if it doesn't work out with you?  You can do the same.  Confidence, don't let this make you feel insecure.

[Lauriebell82]

Maybe she is keeping her options open in case YOU change your mind and decide to bounce? It was my experience on the dating apps that guys can be awfully fickle and get turned off super quick over the silliest things. I think when you have a whole world of possibilities at the click of a mouse it makes it harder to commit to just one woman. Perhaps she is telling you the truth but protecting herself at the same time. 2 dates is still really early. 
 

My boyfriend and I both kept our dating profiles active early in our relationship, yet we both said we would focus on just each other and did not talk to others after we started each other (before we were “official”). I think I changed my pics too! We are still together almost 5 years later. 

Edited May 23, 2022 by Lauriebell82

[Trail Blazer]

41 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

She made it very clear to you she views herself as single and not your girlfriend until you ask and she says yes.  

It makes sense you haven't asked yet, agree would be too soon for me.

I suspect she is simply hedging her bets as she has no idea what your intentions are.  She could well be only dating you and not accepting invites from others, but why not update her profile so it is ready if it doesn't work out with you?  You can do the same.  Confidence, don't let this make you feel insecure.

She's clearly not that into you if she's doing that.  Two dates is enough to know if you're certain someone has potential to be exclusive with.  I would proceed with caution.

[Lauriebell82]

1 minute ago, Trail Blazer said:

She's clearly not that into you if she's doing that.  Two dates is enough to know if you're certain someone has potential to be exclusive with.  I would proceed with caution.

Not everyone is on the same timeline. 2 dates is enough for some, not enough for others. My boyfriend is really introverted and didnt talk for the first two dates! No way would I have been able to determine much after that short of a time. I had to give it longer. 

[SumGuy]

14 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

She's clearly not that into you if she's doing that.  Two dates is enough to know if you're certain someone has potential to be exclusive with.  I would proceed with caution.

Heck not for me.  Two dates is nothing.   Four dates is more a minimum if going to make the choice, at least three.   Caveat, of course baring if we sleep together earlier...won't date others while sleeping with someone.

Putting up photos is not the same as actually dating someone else, no need to put keeping your profile up to date on hold while dating someone.  That you need to show you are into someone by putting that on hold while you are dating is kind of foreign to me and seems insecure and/or controlling if you expect it.  Heck until we sleep together or get really physical, really none of my business if she is meeting others or hers if I am.  Really dating only one person at a  time is more to avoid liking two people and having to choose...usually sucks for all involved.  It helps if one realizes we are all just looking for the right person, we are human and make mistakes.

We call these dates, but they are really just meets to see if we want to date, as to me date means we are deciding to go down that physical path.  My belief is for many women it takes more than two dates for them to decide if they want to go down that path especially if they pick up on insecure or expectation vibes.

[SumGuy]

35 minutes ago, Lauriebell82 said:

...It was my experience on the dating apps that guys can be awfully fickle and get turned off super quick over the silliest things...

That's my expereince on Loveshack  as well, for men and women.

I generally never worried about "fickle" women or wondered why they decided no, clearly not what I was looking for and good we found out sooner rather than later.   Realize my "silly" may be their "must have" so there you go.  I mean I have my "silly" thing is she isn't into reading then it raises serious questions for me.  

[Alvi]

Don't worry about her new pictures. Like I said before, the two of you are not dating yet, so in reality she is not doing anything wrong. Just go out with her and enjoy spending time and getting to know her.

[flitzanu]

biggest thing here is, don't you dare mention to her that you saw her adding or changing pictures.  the less you seem to care about it, the better, because you'll create a whole new drama if you ever tried to bring it up or acknowledge it. 

if you like her, continue on as you would and let things fall as they progress.

[Kamille]

Two dates is too early to determine anything.

She could very well still be looking or hedging her bet, as others have said.

Or maybe she has the app set up so that any changes to her SM profile pics show up on it.

She could also possibly  be updating those pictures for your benefit, especially if you’re still communicating on the application.

There’s no way to know exactly what motivated the pictures so, if you like her, keep getting to know her. 

Edited May 23, 2022 by Kamille