The other women

[heartwhole2]

I'm very much a closure person so I understand your frustration. But I also think it's likely that even if you had solid closure from him, you would be fixating on something else. Fixating is a way of ignoring pain because the pain feels overwhelming. Processing the pain should be your focus. A therapist can do EMDR with you, or you can learn how to do tapping/EFT on your own.

You can't read too much into the unblocking. Remember that FB doesn't allow you to reblock for 48 hours, so he may have been briefly curious and then forgot to reblock you. Or his partner may have unblocked you to see what you would do. It's really impossible to know. My suspicion is that whatever he meant by it, he put a lot less thought into it than you are.

[Starswillshine]

18 hours ago, heartwhole2 said:

Or his partner may have unblocked you to see what you would do.

This is what I was thinking, as well. It may have been the partner to get snoop in. I know I kept checking the OW's social media until we separated. Because she would drop "hints".  

[Myabee]

On 5/24/2022 at 7:46 AM, Sar22 said:

am now 10 weeks since he was caught and 6 weeks since we last had contact.

I emailed him 6 weeks ago asking for full closure and him to say he is where he wants to be and it’s done, unfortunately I didn’t get a response or the closure I was hoping for, instead he blocked me on all forms of contact.

I'm going to be straight with you here as a OW who was  left hung out to dry when my ex mm was caught. He left me with I will be in touch when I can i have no idea how long it will to end a 20 year marriage. Guess what? He never reached back out. I mailed him a letter stupidly to his work. Guess what? No response? This was From Nov 20, 21 to Jan 8 22 when I asked for a contact for closure call. Guess what? Thar did not work. I did not listen to the posters here. I had a fix... Truth is in your own time you have to make your own closure. Keep him blocked. And if you have a fake account on fb to peep him like i did... because I was blocked delete it.  

Edited June 22, 2022 by Myabee

[Arrangrl62]

On 5/24/2022 at 12:46 PM, Sar22 said:

I am now 10 weeks since he was caught and 6 weeks since we last had contact.

I emailed him 6 weeks ago asking for full closure and him to say he is where he wants to be and it’s done, unfortunately I didn’t get a response or the closure I was hoping for, instead he blocked me on all forms of contact.

I just really need to vent and seek advice, I understand the actions of silence speak volumes but it has also made it feel more difficult for me to stop thinking about him. Last week he unblocked me on fb which I believe is to get his fix of photos without any contact directly…again that messes with my head.

I would love to sleep and wake up without thoughts of him and is he happy are they making it work etc.

I would love to hear of peoples similar situations and how you dealt with closure and just moving on.

I have now reached a point where I believe I want him and it could work (I believe this is a normal part of the process) although it’s driving me crazy with the thoughts and unknowns.

Deep down I know he loves me but I also know he has a lot to loose and he doesn’t want to loose any of it so that’s his priority and rightly so….I think anyone who is caught should try and to make there relationship work to know they have tried and really try and understand what made them cheat in the first place so they don’t repeat the same patterns.

Oh - he has thrown you right under the bus . You have had a lucky escape . 

[Lisa]

Thread has been closed as it's continuing without OP.  @Sar22 if you would like the thread reopened, please flag this comment and we'll do that for you