Author Venus080411 Posted May 27, 2022 Author Share Posted May 27, 2022 22 hours ago, vla1120 said: I'm sorry you're back where you were a month ago. On the other hand, this confirms that he is not the one for you and he's just toying with your emotions. Hopefully, your healing will come a bit quicker and you'll get back out there and find someone who's looking for the same thing as you. Hang in there.... Thank you, and yes it actually made me feel better in the sense it confirmed how unstable and immature he really is. His actions are actually pretty cruel the more I think about it. If he really cared about me and had my best interest at heart, he wouldn't have reached out until he had something new to say or if he was ready to be just friends, which clearly he isn't. He knew I was hurting so why reach out to make things even worse... and to suggest getting dinner? This made me feel he wanted to see if he could just sleep with me again because he was horny and probably hasn't been with anyone since me. This only made me feel even more used. It felt 100% self serving on his part. I pretty much just told him I felt he was just testing me and playing with my emotions at this point. I told him I am still working on processing what happened with us and this back and forth is making things so much worse for me. Link to post Share on other sites
LaurenJJJ Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 On 5/27/2022 at 2:35 PM, Venus080411 said: Thank you, and yes it actually made me feel better in the sense it confirmed how unstable and immature he really is. His actions are actually pretty cruel the more I think about it. If he really cared about me and had my best interest at heart, he wouldn't have reached out until he had something new to say or if he was ready to be just friends, which clearly he isn't. He knew I was hurting so why reach out to make things even worse... and to suggest getting dinner? This made me feel he wanted to see if he could just sleep with me again because he was horny and probably hasn't been with anyone since me. This only made me feel even more used. It felt 100% self serving on his part. I pretty much just told him I felt he was just testing me and playing with my emotions at this point. I told him I am still working on processing what happened with us and this back and forth is making things so much worse for me. I personally wouldn't give him any ammunition by telling him all that. He knows you still have feelings for him, which is why he is using them to try and set you up as a casual sex partner. He has all his excuses in place now for not being in a proper relationship. I used not to be in favour of blocking and though remaining civil was the best thing, but this sort of "flowery-texter" as I term them is best blocked. I think guys who make you feel calm and secure, not on edge and unhappy, are the ones who are worth giving time to. This guy is a player. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Venus080411 Posted May 29, 2022 Author Share Posted May 29, 2022 (edited) Well he texted me again to let me know he decided he has no reason to stay here and is going back to his home country. I was pretty shocked to hear this but I guess his unstable behavior continues. I guess I should be happy he will be far far away now and it should make moving on easier for me. Edited May 29, 2022 by Venus080411 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 10 minutes ago, Venus080411 said: Well he texted me again to let me know he decided he has no reason to stay here and is going back to his home country. I was pretty shocked to hear this but I guess his unstable behavior continues. I guess I should be happy he will be far far away now and it should make moving on easier for me. Yes, switch focus to your own health and wellbeing. Keep healing and surrounding yourself with your loved ones. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 13 minutes ago, Venus080411 said: Well he texted me again to let me know he decided he has no reason to stay here and is going back to his home country. Sounds like he knew this all along. That's why he didn't want anything serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Venus080411 Posted May 29, 2022 Author Share Posted May 29, 2022 (edited) 26 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Sounds like he knew this all along. That's why he didn't want anything serious. It is very possible. It would explain why he wanted to stop seeing me when he felt we were getting too close... he knew he was going to eventually leave. I am not even sure I should answer this text. For some reason, even though I know it has nothing to do with me, it makes me so angry. He pretty much just wasted my time and knew he was eventually going to leave and hurt me. Maybe also why he keeps apologizing to me... Edited May 29, 2022 by Venus080411 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 29, 2022 Share Posted May 29, 2022 I don't know why he didn't come out and tell you he was leaving. Really 7 months is more like a fling than a relationship and it would help if you looked at it that way. I'm sure if you knew he was leaving you wouldn't be taking this so hard. If he already knew he was going to leave chances are he already had a shield around his heart because he knew this wasn't going to to anywhere. He should have told you so you could put a shield around yours. Tell us again why you haven't blocked him from contacting you yet? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Venus080411 Posted May 30, 2022 Author Share Posted May 30, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, stillafool said: I don't know why he didn't come out and tell you he was leaving. Really 7 months is more like a fling than a relationship and it would help if you looked at it that way. I'm sure if you knew he was leaving you wouldn't be taking this so hard. If he already knew he was going to leave chances are he already had a shield around his heart because he knew this wasn't going to to anywhere. He should have told you so you could put a shield around yours. Tell us again why you haven't blocked him from contacting you yet? I am not sure to be honest. He has a travel visa that is up in 3 months or so. When we met he said he wanted to stay here full time and was working towards that. He is always all over with his plans/thoughts as of late though, which is one of the reasons we broke up. He had NO plan or direction. He told me earlier in the week he was flying somewhere next week with no return date. I asked him where he was going and he said he doesn't know yet, his life is so unsettled. And then middle of the night he texts me saying he has decided that he has no reason to stay here and he is going back to his country.... I am almost not sure if I even believe him or if he just wanted a reaction from me since I didn't answer his prior text. I almost feel like he is trying to get a reaction out of me (what that is, I don't know). Edited May 30, 2022 by Venus080411 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 30, 2022 Share Posted May 30, 2022 Why haven't you blocked him so you can be done with this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted May 30, 2022 Share Posted May 30, 2022 27 minutes ago, Venus080411 said: He had NO plan or direction. This is a dealbreaker, personally. Why not redefine your own plans/direction? Ask yourself what you'd like out of life. Things may be much clearer then. You both seem to be at a crossroads and your lives are very different. I'm sorry it's so painful and confusing. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 30, 2022 Share Posted May 30, 2022 I can't fathom why you're allowing this man to continue contacting you. Do you want to get back together with him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted May 30, 2022 Share Posted May 30, 2022 7 hours ago, Venus080411 said: I am not sure to be honest. He has a travel visa that is up in 3 months or so. When we met he said he wanted to stay here full time and was working towards that. He is always all over with his plans/thoughts as of late though, which is one of the reasons we broke up. He had NO plan or direction. He told me earlier in the week he was flying somewhere next week with no return date. I asked him where he was going and he said he doesn't know yet, his life is so unsettled. And then middle of the night he texts me saying he has decided that he has no reason to stay here and he is going back to his country.... I am almost not sure if I even believe him or if he just wanted a reaction from me since I didn't answer his prior text. I almost feel like he is trying to get a reaction out of me (what that is, I don't know). He is playing you like a fiddle. Stop it. You know better 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 30, 2022 Share Posted May 30, 2022 9 hours ago, Venus080411 said: He has a travel visa that is up in 3 months or so. He had NO plan or direction. He told me earlier in the week he was flying somewhere next week with no return date. You dodged a bullet. It seems he was just passing through and that's never a good risk to take. Tell him bon voyage! and delete and block him. Link to post Share on other sites
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