No one gets together for lunch on their breaks

[QuietRiot]

A new co-worker of mine has kind of a complaint that come the lunch hour, he's noticed people going out and getting their meals at local places (fast food, restaurant pickup, local grocery, etc) and bringing them back and eating alone or a couple sitting in the break room....but no one ever decides to hit the restaurant as a group thing.

Some even sit in their cars, eating alone...looking at their phones, etc.

I was like "Yeah, I wish that could be, but it is what it is". 

Apparently, his desire to be sociable is showing. 

Does anyone here get together at a restaurant just for fun?

[Happy Lemming]

Co-workers are not friends.  When I worked, I "brown-bagged" it and ate at my desk, alone (reading a magazine or book).

If he is looking to socialize, I might suggest going to "Happy Hour" after work.  Is there a local bar/pub that has "Happy Hour" specials??

[stillafool]

Back in the day, we had an hour for lunch and on Fridays it could extend a half an hour.  Groups of us would take a co worker out for their b-day or a good bye lunch which included alcohol if we wanted, 1 drink.   We would go out to bars and restaurants after work on Fridays for Happy Hours, etc.   Do groups of young people no longer do this in work places?

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

Some even sit in their cars, eating alone...looking at their phones, etc.

This is the new normal.

[glows]

This depends on where you work and the work culture. In the past we took coworkers out for lunch and there were days when we went out as a group but going out as a group takes more coordination and planning. Employees are there to work and get back on time after their lunch hour ends and this rarely happens as a group.

You also described this job as more or less transient for many of the employees where you work so longer term friendships and relationships aren't going to be present if there's high turnover. 

I've made it a point to invite colleagues to lunch and socialize after work hours. I still maintain those friendships from previous workplaces and we've known each other for many years, most of us have moved on. Actually some of my oldest friendships come from old workplaces or where we first met as colleagues. There's nothing wrong with not having that kind of relationship either with your coworkers and I think what many would caution against is not being able to stay objective when it comes to work if that relationship outside of work is too close. I've never had that problem, thankfully. There's the likelihood we tend to think similarly so it's worked fine.

[basil67]

I'm no longer in the workforce but when I was, group lunches weren't regular but they did happen.  When my husband was working in an office (pre COVID) group lunches with his coworker mates were a weekly thing.  

[Wiseman2]

On 5/25/2022 at 7:26 AM, QuietRiot said:

A new co-worker of mine has kind of a complaint that come the lunch hour, he's noticed people going out and getting their meals at local places.

This is usually a nightmare between where to go, how much to spend, etc. 

Personally I dislike chain food and junk food so this lockstep thing would not be desirable for that reason.

Also many people need a break from their co-workers.

Your new coworker seems lonely plaintive and naive. If you want, throw him a bone and go to lunch together.

 

[Foxhall]

Perhaps this varies between cultures,

in my country lunch meet ups and friendliness between colleagues are still quite common,

although with more remote working not as much as say pre covid,

the more aloof nature of things as described on the thread here- well that would suit me personally just fine also.

prefer to keep a distance with work colleagues.

[Wiseman2]

On 5/25/2022 at 7:26 AM, QuietRiot said:

A new co-worker of mine has kind of a complaint that no one ever decides to hit the restaurant as a group thing.

Is this the trainee that was asking you about who's single? 

He seems to think the workplace is a social club, singles bar and now worries about groups going to restaurants?

Be kind and suggest that he get more of a social life and dating life outside of work. 

[QuietRiot]

16 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is this the trainee that was asking you about who's single? 

He seems to think the workplace is a social club, singles bar and now worries about groups going to restaurants?

Be kind and suggest that he get more of a social life and dating life outside of work. 

Surprisingly, he's now seeing this co-worker now, as there is a mutual interest. Of course, this kind of encourages dating in the workplace since there are no rules against it. Though in blue collar jobs, this is quite common as it isn't considered a career job.

He isn't the first person that's done this. This seems to be typical with young adults that are new to the area/haven't lived here for long or in some kind of transition where they went from an area where they used to have a social circle, but no longer do.

Can't say that I don't sympathize with them though and I wouldn't surprise me that this could be a common thing.

Edited May 27, 2022 by QuietRiot

[FMW]

I went out to lunch with a group of co-workers just last week.  But most of the time I eat lunch at my desk, it's quicker.  I'd rather stay focused on work and not lose time.

[mrs rubble]

We actually went out to a local brewery for dinner and drinks last night with a bunch of my colleagues. We have regular shared lunches at work, every time someone leaves, we bring a plate full of food to share, and have a farewell lunch. We do the same at Christmas time and EID.

[QuietRiot]

10 hours ago, mrs rubble said:

We actually went out to a local brewery for dinner and drinks last night with a bunch of my colleagues. We have regular shared lunches at work, every time someone leaves, we bring a plate full of food to share, and have a farewell lunch. We do the same at Christmas time and EID.

When we do a gathering of sorts, like when it involves food....it's usually an official work gathering of co-workers, not something that's done off the clock. But hey, that's something I guess.

I guess some workers have an aversion to carrying over their co-workers into their off-the-clock life.

[ShyViolet]

Going out for a group lunch on my lunch break sounds like the worst thing ever.  In all my years at various jobs, I take my lunch break alone, that is ME time and I don't want to be bothered with anyone.  There's nothing wrong with that.  If this person wants to organize a social event with co-workers, he should invite people to go out after work.  I think after work is a more appropriate time to organize something.

[QuietRiot]

On 5/28/2022 at 6:58 PM, ShyViolet said:

Going out for a group lunch on my lunch break sounds like the worst thing ever.  In all my years at various jobs, I take my lunch break alone, that is ME time and I don't want to be bothered with anyone.  There's nothing wrong with that.  If this person wants to organize a social event with co-workers, he should invite people to go out after work.  I think after work is a more appropriate time to organize something.

Well, lunch or after-work, it's kind of moot as his complaint also includes post-work dinner....but I didn't include that because where I work...people zoom straight home to their families and sig others.