girlinNYC Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 A month ago a friend of my brothers kissed me. He said that making a move had been on his mind for a while but due to his friendship with my brother there was that hesitancy initially, which I respected. Since then we haven’t spoken of the kiss. He said that he didn’t mind if I told my brother but I haven’t yet. He had covid a fortnight ago so he was in isolation for a little while but he texted me and said once he’s out of isolation that we should catch up. It’s been two weeks and he hasn’t initiated a catch up. I told him to let me know when he’s free to put the ball in his court. He said that he would but hasn’t. We are set to catch up in a week as a group so it will be interesting to see how he acts in a group setting. I’m not impressed in that I would think a friend of my brothers’ would have enough respect and insight to not keep me wondering, but I can’t help but feel I’ve been lead on. I know there are complexities at play, maybe he wants to get the green light from my brother first and of course preserve their friendship. But I deserve equal amounts of consideration if so, not to mention some communication on the status of the situation at the very least. That is not much to ask and I have asked nothing of him. Am I justified in thinking that I’m being strung along? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 3 minutes ago, girlinNYC said: A month ago a friend of my brothers kissed me. How old is he? Are you dating or just hanging out now and then? He doesn't seem to be stringing you along at all. You two were not really dating and he's not asking you for dates. Just stop texting this much. Date other boys who actually ask you out on dates. Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlinNYC Posted June 3, 2022 Author Share Posted June 3, 2022 Just now, Wiseman2 said: How old is he? Are you dating or just hanging out now and then? He doesn't seem to be stringing you along at all. You two were not really dating and he's not asking you for dates. Just stop texting this much. Date other boys who actually ask you out on dates. He’s mid 30’s. I understand that we aren’t dating and I’m not expecting him to suddenly be in love. But to tell me that he’s been interested for months and then kiss me, to not even communicate where I stand with him as yet or follow up on his idea to catch up seems unfair and lacking in consideration. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 1 minute ago, girlinNYC said: He’s mid 30’s. to not even communicate where I stand with him as yet or follow up on his idea. Ok. That's way too old for puppy love. Just forget him. He's not asking you out so that in itself is the answer. Don't wait for or waste time on uninterested men. Just date guys who ask you on real dates and aren't playing spin the bottle in their 30s. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author girlinNYC Posted June 3, 2022 Author Share Posted June 3, 2022 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Ok. That's way too old for puppy love. Just forget him. He's not asking you out so that in itself is the answer. Don't wait for or waste time on uninterested men. Just date guys who ask you on real dates and aren't playing spin the bottle in their 30s. Yep. From telling me he’s interested to suddenly showing me he’s uninterested. I’d therefore say that’s leading someone on Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 I would write him off, OP. It was one kiss and it appears he's had second thoughts about it - and didn't really bother to let you know. Or maybe he wasn't as interested as he claimed. Either way, he would be in touch if he wanted to see you again. It's disappointing, but let this be your cue that he's not the guy for you. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 (edited) Back in the day a friend of my brother's kissed me. He said he couldn't help himself and that was that. I didn't feel he had led me on just he wanted to kiss me in that moment. I moved on and so did he. That's probably what happened with your brother's friend. Did that kiss make you fall in love with him? Edited June 3, 2022 by stillafool 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 Just move on. If he wants to pursue something, he knows how to reach you and you can make your decisions from there. Otherwise, there is nothing really to talk about. He's hardly even leading you on. It was a kiss - and he behaved like a cad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 5 hours ago, girlinNYC said: He had covid a fortnight ago so he was in isolation for a little while but he texted me and said once he’s out of isolation that we should catch up. It’s been two weeks and he hasn’t initiated a catch up. He said you guys should "catch up" which sounds like something friends do. He didn't say "we will go out" which is a date. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 6 hours ago, girlinNYC said: It’s been two weeks and he hasn’t initiated a catch up. I told him to let me know when he’s free to put the ball in his court. He said that he would but hasn’t. For whatever reason, he is not interested in pursuing this any further. Act cordial when you see him but don't fall under his charms again. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 6 hours ago, girlinNYC said: But to tell me that he’s been interested for months and then kiss me, to not even communicate where I stand with him as yet or follow up on his idea to catch up seems unfair and lacking in consideration. He didn't say he's been interested for months, he said making a move has been on his mind for a while. Maybe that move was to kiss you only and now it's done. He didn't say anything about dating you. Where does one usually stand after 1 kiss? It doesn't really mean anything if no follow up. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 My guess is that he acted on impulse and is too chicken to ask you out on a date or face your brother. I agree with you that he sort of led you on but you went down that path anyway on your own and let yourself get carried away. I don't think he's disrespected you but I also don't think he's much of a catch either or relationship potential if he does a kiss and run. Link to post Share on other sites
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