Happy Lemming Posted June 3, 2022 Share Posted June 3, 2022 OK... so my girlfriend's doctor's appointment was cancelled (by the doctor) after I had got her up early for that appointment. Being that she was up early, she told me she needed some new jeans. Well there is one semi-large (big box) store in our little town, so we went there. Of course they had a style of jeans she liked, she picked out "her" size and went to try them on. They didn't fit... too small, way too tight. So I ran to the rack and brought her the next size up. OMG!! She blew a gasket. She said "No, we don't go up a size... we leave and go to another store" I told her to go ahead and try them on. Which she did and they fit perfectly. I said "OK... great, buy them." She refused and told me we are going to another store. I said "Why, you found a pair of jeans you like, they fit and they are a good price" She told me "No, I'm not buying them and I'm sure not wearing them." Then I said to her "Let me get this straight, you want me to drive you 20+ miles to the next town to look for a pair of jeans that have a different (number) tag in them, when gasoline is $5.79/gallon and we have a perfectly good pair - that fit - right here??" Huh?? I don't understand?? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 Nope, I can't explain that either LOL. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 Is she self-conscious about her weight? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 You're not supposed to understand this. Just hug and kiss her and accept that she doesn't want jeans at the store you both just went to. Somewhere along the way your girlfriend interpreted a larger size tag as something negative or that to go above a certain size reflects strongly on who she is as a person (not good enough, not thin enough, not sexy enough). Love her anyway with all your heart and don't be perturbed by this because in the end it is her prerogative not to wear anything she feels uncomfortable with. She's probably disappointed enough and feeling defeated in the process. I'm sure you showered her with your love and affection as you often do anyway. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) On 6/4/2022 at 8:57 AM, Happy Lemming said: I said to her "Let me get this straight, you want me to drive you 20+ miles to the next town to look for a pair of jeans that have a different (number) tag in them, when gasoline is $5.79/gallon and we have a perfectly good pair - that fit - right here??" [ ] This seems like the whole "does this make me look fat?" type of thing. Edited June 5, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator doesn't address first post Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 11 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: OMG!! She blew a gasket. She said "No, we don't go up a size... we leave and go to another store" I told her to go ahead and try them on. Which she did and they fit perfectly. I said "OK... great, buy them." She refused and told me we are going to another store. I said "Why, you found a pair of jeans you like, they fit and they are a good price" Stores and clothing manufacturers have sizing that differs from one to the other. So this particular store's pants size 10 might be labeled a size 6 in another store. Maybe she prefers to wear pants that are labeled a smaller size (i.e. whichever size she prefers to be, that's what she wants the label to reflect). The majority of people prefer to see a familiar or "nice" number when it comes to their clothing (and emotionally, your girlfriend may prefer the size 6 brand in her wardrobe). 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 I think it’s what Alpacalia said. Most women are hyper aware of their pant size and going up a size would be the same as admitting that you’ve gained weight. Pant size is different for men because the sizes go by length and width, so that isn’t going to vary. But a size 8 Levi’s may be slightly different from a size 8 Lee for women. We say some brands “run small” or “run large”. So she was looking for a size x (her known size) in a different brand that runs large to avoid admitting that she’s gained weight, likely. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Happy Lemming Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) [ ] 14 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: This seems like the whole "does this make me look fat?" type of thing. Yes... I think you are right. Edited June 5, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator response to removed content 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Happy Lemming Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 So there is a little update... We came home without the larger jeans. I remembered I had an old pair of work jeans from when I was thinner (many years ago). I had been saving them to cut up and make patches out of them for other work jeans. I dug them out of my closet and immediately cut the size tag out of them. I told her to try them on. The waist fit perfectly, but the inseam -- not so much. So, I dug out my sewing machine, measured how much to cut off the legs and sewed them up. Apparently, these old jeans were worn and ripped in all the right places to make them "fashionable"... I gave them a quick wash/dry and "V" now has a pair of jeans to wear for this outing with her girlfriends. She appears content with this solution. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Happy Lemming Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Is she self-conscious about her weight? Isn't every woman... but to answer your question -- YES!! I don't give her grief about it, as it really doesn't bother me if she is carrying a few extra pounds. If her doctor tells her to lose weight and she asks me for help, sure I'll be glad to assist, but otherwise I'm steering clear of that hornet's nest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 4 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: If her doctor tells her to lose weight and she asks me for help, sure I'll be glad to assist, but otherwise I'm steering clear of that hornet's nest. Good call!! Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 Lots of women buy clothing based on the size printed on the label, rather than what fits. They seem to think the number trumps the mirror. As a result, many manufacturers have learned to increase the size of the clothing itself while reducing the size number. This is known as vanity sizing. I weighed ~20 pounds less in high school than I do now, but I somehow wear a 2/4 now when I wore a 7/9 then. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Happy Lemming Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) 18 minutes ago, introverted1 said: This is known as vanity sizing. Well, I learned something new today. 18 minutes ago, introverted1 said: They seem to think the number trumps the mirror. It probably doesn't help that I have this one mirror door in the house that has a manufacturing defect in it. It kind of stretches the image, making you look thinner. "V" will only look at herself in this "fun house" style mirror. "V" paired my old jeans with this cute blue blouse and some nice heels; she seemed happy, enough. She added this turquoise necklace I bought her a few years ago to accessorize and her ensemble was complete. I told her she looked great in her "new" outfit. Edited June 4, 2022 by Happy Lemming Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 1 minute ago, Happy Lemming said: It kind of stretches the image, making you look thinner. You could make a fortune if you could mass produce this mirror! 35 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: I dug out my sewing machine, measured how much to cut off the legs and sewed them up. You cook, you sew, you're handy... is there anything you can't do? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Happy Lemming Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 4 minutes ago, introverted1 said: You cook, you sew, you're handy... is there anything you can't do? I'm cheap -- so I try not to hire outside individuals if I can help it. As a child, I was always working on various things with my father, so I learned a lot from him. At 8 years old, my mom taught me how to sew a button back on my shirt. It was a cute story that my mom will re-tell from time to time. After the button, she taught me to mend my clothing with needle and thread, then eventually taught me how to use her old Singer sewing machine. Quite a while ago, I found this very old and very heavy Alco sewing machine at Goodwill. It didn't work, so I got it for a very low price. I brought it home, opened it up, cleaned up all the gears and lubricated everything. I plugged it in and it roared back to life. I've been using it ever since -- it is workhorse!! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 It's an emotional thing. But I doubt the maturity of your girlfriend a bit. No offence. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 Forget going to a bunch of different stores. I try on one pair of pants and I'm calling it a day. I guess that's one of the reasons stretchy pants were invented. There's no other pants like them. Is your girlfriend a fan of stretchy pants? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 Nice work on the sewing a pair of jeans for her. Generally I'd say that sometimes not understanding is understanding. Just play along with the neurosis of the day. This too shall pass... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Happy Lemming Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 1 hour ago, Alpacalia said: Is your girlfriend a fan of stretchy pants? She has a few pairs, I guess she likes them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Happy Lemming Posted June 4, 2022 Author Share Posted June 4, 2022 1 hour ago, giotto said: No offence. None taken... Yes, "V" gets a little "nutsy" about weight and clothes. Her mother was very thin and was always on "V" and her sister about weight and getting heavy, so it's probably a leftover issue from childhood. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: Isn't every woman... but to answer your question -- YES!! I don't give her grief about it, as it really doesn't bother me if she is carrying a few extra pounds. If her doctor tells her to lose weight and she asks me for help, sure I'll be glad to assist, but otherwise I'm steering clear of that hornet's nest. I had the reverse issue with partners who were consumed with their weight or muscle mass (men) so I think it goes both ways and there are individuals who can be quite extreme about the way they perceive themselves. I'm sorry she struggles with weight issue or if it goes back to childhood. It sounds difficult to overcome if it goes so far back. You seem very supportive of her and great idea with re-designing your old pair of jeans. Edited June 4, 2022 by glows 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 4 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: Well, I learned something new today. Yes the more upscale stores do that, but then again they usually have a "man chair", where you can wait and whatever sizes are brought into the dressing room is a heavily guarded secret.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 23 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: hen I said to her "Let me get this straight, you want me to drive you 20+ miles to the next town She perhaps simply wanted to prolong the adventure and make a proper shopping trip day out of it, where was the fun in simply going home straight away, just my take on it! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 (edited) Following @introverted1's comment about vanity sizing, there's also the complexity that each manufacturer gives an arbitrary size number to their clothes. While many have similar sizing, some manufacturers are outliers. When I try on clothes, I usually take 2 different sizes into the changeroom with me. And giving you a head's up, if you ever want to sew her something and buy a pattern from one of the commercial patternmakers (McCalls, Butterick etc), their size numbers are completely unrelated to modern fashion sizes, so take her measurements, but don't tell her the size number! Edited June 5, 2022 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 15 hours ago, Alpacalia said: Stores and clothing manufacturers have sizing that differs from one to the other. So this particular store's pants size 10 might be labeled a size 6 in another store. This. And no, I would not have bought the jeans because they were a bigger size. It a woman thing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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