FireflySummer Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 (edited) I have been in a tumultuous relationship with my partner for close to five years and I have definitively decided I want to end things. To keep this brief, I will only say I've dealt with a great deal of psychology and verbal abuse, isloation, and a constant barrage of threats which have taken a serious toll on my mental health and well-being. I suspect my partner has some sort of undiagnosed disorder, [ ] which causes them to act this way. I have brought up the subject of breaking up in a very gentle, non-confrontational way, and whenever I do, my partner reacts aggressively, culminating in more threats to ruin my reputation. I am emotionally and physically exhausted from all of this and I just want a clean break, but I have no idea how to safely leave. Some of the threats are most likely vacant, but others do seem more realistic. I am feeling fearful and lost on how to proceed. Any help you can offer after reading this would go a long way right now. Thanks in advance. Edited June 4, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator armchair diagnosis Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 4, 2022 Share Posted June 4, 2022 Marital status? Are there any children? Do you have an income? Start severing financial ties and do more information gathering, speak with a lawyer regardless if you're married or common law. Get the information first before you leave if the abuse isn't physical. Check local shelters and resources for domestic abuse. I caution against fleeing in the spur of the moment without exit plan. Talk to trusted friends and family and see whether you can stay with someone. When you leave think of it as a permanent leave and do not go back. Stop talking about breaking up with an abuser. It doesn't work because they abuse, gaslight and blame you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 Contacting a local resource for battered/abused women might give you some solid pointers and strategies, and access to support resources. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 5, 2022 Share Posted June 5, 2022 11 hours ago, FireflySummer said: . I have brought up the subject of breaking up in a very gentle, non-confrontational way, and whenever I do, my partner reacts aggressively, culminating in more threats to ruin my reputation Sorry this is happening. You're in an abusive relationship. Do you live together? Whose place is it? That determines how to best extricate yourself. Do not "discuss'" breaking up. Don't hope to fix or change him. Tell trusted friends and family what is going on. Do you work and have a car? The first step is severing finances and changing ALL your passwords on all your accounts and devices. The next is to stop talking at him. Be bland and act neutral while you plan your departure. If it's his place, get friends and family to help you move out. If it's your place,get a restraining order and the police will escort him out and escort him to get his stuff out. Don't worry about whatever type of mental health issues he has. Being an abuser is a choice, not an illness. Focus soley on extricating yourself from this. How exactly could he "ruin your reputation"? Forget empty threats. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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