gopala_good Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 Hi! I am in a bit of an awkward situation with my flatmate (I'm a 25 year old guy, she's a 23 year old girl). We've been living together with two other people who we have a bit less contact with for almost 3 months now. We slowly became reasonably good friends over that time and we are part of the same friend group. So we hang out somewhat regularly anyway. There was a period just a few weeks ago where we got along really well. There were some signs that she may have caught some feelings for me at that time but that is something I am not sure about at all now. Anyway, soon after I feel things between us got a bit tense and cold compared to before. Whatever the reason, I do not know. By now, it is really a mix of highs and lows. On a good day it feels like we're almost back to where we were when everything seemed fine. But on the low days I feel like she is avoiding me, almost as if she were scared of me. Normally I would just accept this as her not wanting to be around me at all or disliking me for some reason. Then the next day she will out of nowhere be the one to initiate some plans where we will be together. Or randomly join me studying or cooking. I just can't figure out the problem. Generally I would say when we are in a group it's like she's unlocked and we are able to talk normally and have fun. But when we are alone it's all so much more tense save for those few bright moments that seem to come and go randomly. I have to admit that some of that may be my fault as I find it difficult to have a relaxed conversation when I feel not so good vibes coming from her. At this point I'm really doubting if it wasn't me who at some point accidentally acted dismissive towards her? It could well be that there was some misunderstanding but I can't think of a situation that would be big enough to cause such a lasting change of mood. I mean we're not dating or super close friends, just flatmates who became friends by happenstance. Either way, we can't seem to break out of the cycle now. I would like to get some idea on how to solve it because I really liked where we were headed before. Now I'm scared we will eventually grow apart. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 Maybe she's not attracted to you and thinks of you in a platonic or neighbourly way (doesn't want to come across as something else). Did you try asking her out to coffee or doing anything one on one? My guess is she doesn't think of you like that and you may be reading into this too much. Do you still greet each other when you see each other around? No awkwardness there? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 13 minutes ago, gopala_good said: I am in a bit of an awkward situation with my flatmate . We've been living together with two other people who we have a bit less contact with for almost 3 months now.. There were some signs that she may have caught some feelings for me at that time but that is something I am not sure about at all now. If she senses you have a crush on her, she may be distancing herself because getting involved with roommates is not a good idea. Be friendly, keep your distance and keep it strictly platonic. Link to post Share on other sites
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