Uruktopi Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 (edited) Trust is by it´s own nature about the potential (some conjectural future) or about what you may not know about the past or the present. It may not apply to actual known facts. No amount of "inner" intentions can or should change the nature and importance of what in fact happended. Otherwise is (regardless if concious or not) to implicitely and a priori say that what is already known is or should be acceptable. "Indifference is not the opposite of love. Ambiguity is" Edited June 9, 2022 by Uruktopi Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 1 hour ago, KD4life said: She said she doesn't remember what she put on the card. This sounds like bull. My memory does not recall word for word as to what I write on cards, but I can remember how I sign them or what the general gist of it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 6 hours ago, KD4life said: 32M and my wife 33F. 2 kids. Married for 10 years How is your marriage overall? Do you both work and earn about the same? Is there shared household stuff, childcare etc.? Yes this reeks of an emotional affair. Has she ever done this type of thing in the past? Maybe she wants male attention, but there seems to be a lot of underlying issues and distrust in the relationship. Have you been unfaithful in the past? Why is she rifling through your phone? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 It doesn't sound like she has entered the realm of an affair; however, it does sound like, at the very least, there is a bit of a crush forming as someone else mentioned. If you have stated to her that this friendship has made you uncomfortable, and she has disrespected that by continuing on with this "frienship" and texting him, that is crossing the line. Given she checks your phone, it seems she would not be ok with you demonstrating the same behavior, so she should have some understanding of how it might make you feel. My partner is always free to go through my phone. I trust him enough to not be reading all the down and dirty details that my best girlfriends text about, but if he chooses to do so... I guess he only has himself to blame for the ick he will feel when he does. I do not find it controlling behavior to request that your wife does not form close friendships with other men. She is still free to do so, and you are still free to not accept the behavior and feel disrespected and leave. Just comes down to what is more important to her. Or as Mark said, the king or the pawn. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 Hi KD, I think you have a real problem and it is a pity that your wife does not recognize it for what it is. In my opinion the two of you need to consult a good marriage consultant. That is if you think you would like to work on your marriage and save it. If you think that before you consult a marriage consultant that the two of you should have some sessions with Individual counsellors then do that to sort out your individual issues before going for a marriage counsellor. I would think this would be the best possible course of action that you can take, assuming that you are still in favour of saving your marriage. You know best what you want and in your ten year relationship with your wife you would have been able to read her well enough to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with her. From the tone of your OP and other posts it foes not seem like you are very enamoured of her! Warm regards. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MickeyBill Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 It may or may not be something to worry about...how's that for helpful? Was it a KIA or a TESLA? Were you together or was she buying her car alone? Did he really get her a good deal or just tell her he did? These days cars are hard to come by at list price, let alone a "deal" Higher end car dealers need to convince people to spend more than they feel comfortable to move the numbers up, so they look good in the rankings of sales folk. Some are slicker than others and if your wife was there on her own and the sales dude was on his game there was probably some flirting and banter going as he wants to close the deal. If it takes flattery, it's all in the sales game. Maybe she took that as interest and wants to keep that attention going. But unless she is going to buy another car his focus will be on the next single woman who walks into the dealership. Management often frowns on sales dudes banging customers. It may be in her mind but she is acting pretty shifty. Link to post Share on other sites
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