loulynn13 Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 Hi all, My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. He is off to America until September with friends, a trip that I am unable to join him on due to commitments at home here in Ireland. Despite having an extremely happy, healthy relationship with no problems, we decided that it would be too difficult to maintain such connection whilst in opposite time zones with extremely busy jobs. Since parting ways we have both been miserable and believe that it was the wrong decision. We have had long discussions and agree that we only want each other and definitely want to get back together. The problem now is that it is too close to his leaving date to resume the relationship and have it strong enough to face several tough months apart. We have said that we will keep regular contact during the summer, not see anyone else, and get back together properly when he returns. We trust each other enough to stick to this plan and are certain that we will still share the same feelings in September. My question for you is how can I pass my summer without the thought of his return consuming me? Any suggestions for hobbies, sports, tv shows, etc ? I want to enjoy myself and take this extra time to focus on me, whilst hopefully making the time go faster! Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 (edited) Take a fun class to learn something new like surfing, tennis, etc., that will be good for both mind and body to stay in shape. Go out with friends and meet new people. Weeks fly by and before you know it summer will be over. I don't understand why you have to break up for 3 months just to get back together in the end. What's wrong with remaining a couple who is just separated for a short time due to circumstances? Edited June 9, 2022 by stillafool 2 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 1 hour ago, loulynn13 said: The problem now is that it is too close to his leaving date to resume the relationship and have it strong enough to face several tough months apart. Who decided this? You or him? And on what basis? I'm curious where this anxiety is coming from and who's projecting it, you or him? Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 One summer apart is not that big of a deal. It's a little over two months. Just occupy yourself with other things and try to have a fun summer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 Do you enjoy making art?? Creating things, painting, drawing, etc. I had some tile, granite and marble (small pieces) leftover from various jobs I did in the house. My girlfriend took a hammer (and safety glasses) and broke them into pieces making a mosaic. Once she completed the design I mixed up some thin set mortar and she placed it on a scrap piece of thin plywood. Once it was dry she grouted it with some leftover grout I had laying around. It looks great and she really enjoyed breaking up the pieces and fitting them into her mosaic design. Reclaimed building supply stores always have small quantities of tile and various other building supplies. Let your mind go wild with ideas for all kinds of art. I picked up a few feet of scrap copper flashing that "V" wants to play with and make something out of. I'll solder it together with the MAPP torch once she gets it done, but it will be her creation/art. It's fun watching her create stuff out of scraps, it occupies her time and brings her joy. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 3 hours ago, loulynn13 said: Despite having an extremely happy, healthy relationship with no problems, we decided that it would be too difficult to maintain such connection whilst in opposite time zones with extremely busy jobs. With all due respect, if you two decided to break off a 3-year relationship over spending literally only 3 months apart... are you really sure that this relationship with him is something that you want for the long term? I'm not saying this to have a dig at you, I genuinely think it may be worth analyzing your reasons for wanting to call it quits, because I really can't imagine that such a decision was made by a couple who was in love with each other. If you felt like there was no point in keeping the relationship, perhaps there was a reason for that decision? That being said, to answer your question, what did you do for fun before you met your partner? Surely you have friends, existing hobbies, etc? It's hard to suggest things without having any inkling of what you like. Are you looking for outdoorsy things to do or moreso indoor things? Are you interested in making new friends or you'd rather have something to do solo? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted June 9, 2022 Share Posted June 9, 2022 (edited) *Boggles* this doesn't make any sense. Why break up and why not get back together? Three months is nothing. Especially with today's technology. I can do that standing on my head. Hell, military couples do that all the time. This broken up but not broken up thing you guys have planned is a recipe for disaster. It is limbo on steroids. Either really break up and go have fun with other people this summer or learn how to be happy with great communication and conversations. Heck, you can even buy sex toys that the other person can control real time from the other side of the planet for Pete's sake! Edited June 9, 2022 by Mrin 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 19 hours ago, loulynn13 said: The problem now is that it is too close to his leaving date to resume the relationship and have it strong enough to face several tough months apart. So at first he wanted to break up before his trip but then decided no? This is what you need to consider. That he wanted to have some no-strings fun while away. What you can do over the summer is enjoy your freedom, since he was ready to dump you so he would be free while away. This is lose-lose for you and win-win for him. You're tied down and he's free yet puts you in a holding pattern so he has a GF when he gets back. If you meet someone over the summer don't hesitate to explore that. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 21 hours ago, loulynn13 said: We have said that we will keep regular contact during the summer, not see anyone else, and get back together properly when he returns. We trust each other enough to stick to this plan and are certain that we will still share the same feelings in September. Then forgive me, but what was the point of breaking up? This makes zero sense. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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