Jump to content

Will I eventually feel excited about my engagement (I said yes to not hurt him)


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, bumblebee07 said:

I'll speak to her after getting off work today. I'm close with both of my parents. I was thinking of still staying as his fiancee but be engaged much longer, like someone suggested; 2 years. I hope he'll understand. 

Absolutely confide in your family that you are not ready to marry. You're in college. You haven't started a profession yet.

Wait at least 2 years. It's better to have a long engagement and be sure and independent before marriage. If he loves you, there won't be a problem.

Edited by Wiseman2
Posted
1 hour ago, bumblebee07 said:

I'm close to my parents and friends but yes they're unaware of my current feelings on this matter. I'm going to have a conversation with them before speaking to him about it.

I think this is wise, especially if you have a good relationship with them. They know you better than anyone, and can probably offer the best guidance. I am sure they will encourage you to wait if you're not ready. 

57 minutes ago, Will am I said:

Out of curiosity: did you two have any particular reason for the fast track wedding plans?

I was also wondering about this. it seems like it was supposed to be a short engagement. What was behind that, OP

Posted
2 hours ago, bumblebee07 said:

I was thinking of still staying as his fiancee but be engaged much longer, like someone suggested; 2 years. I hope he'll understand. 

If he wants to continue this relationship with you, he has to understand and he has to respect your needs.

Posted
7 hours ago, bumblebee07 said:

 I don't mind staying as his fiancee and making it a longer engagement.

Absolutely you can do this. It’s essentially what my sister did. Her boyfriend at the time proposed at about the same point of your relationship and she  didn’t say no, but she basically said not yet. And then about 3 years later she felt ready and they got married and are still happily married 20 years later. 

  • Like 1
Posted
On 6/14/2022 at 2:55 PM, ExpatInItaly said:

Very, very few people would have the heart to say no under those circumstances. I get that your fiancé was probably trying to be romantic and sentimental, but it was just too much pressure to put on you. 

Completely this.  The only time I think it's appropriate to propose this way is when the soon to be bride has expressed her desire to get engaged and married to the man over and over again.  Then he is sure she will happily accept.

  • Like 1
×
×
  • Create New...