Plutarh Posted June 17, 2022 Share Posted June 17, 2022 A female coworker of mine who' s birthday was yestarday has the behaviour to stay low when it comes for her birthday. She doesn't want to tell our colleagues about the event. She says if other colleagues are not to closed to her all the year why to be fake in one day. I can say we are closed as coworkers, not other meaning (both married, she's 55 y.o. and I' m 35 y.o.). I've done the lobby for her to come in our departament from another inside the company. She's a hard working person and very proffesional. For her birthday she told me that she knows that I know the day but asked not to tell others in our department. The day come, I've congratulated her when we were only the two us. At the ending of theb day work she went with another female coworker and friend of her to take a drink. My plan was to offer her flowers at the departure from the workplace, no one to see. Due to her meeting at the bar with the female coworker I've changed my mind. Now I'm thinking if it would be a good choice to offer her flowers at the end of this day, next dat after b-day ? PS: I see the gesture of offering flowers as coming from a young coworker to and older lady coworker, being a act of respect, nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 17, 2022 Share Posted June 17, 2022 4 hours ago, Plutarh said: For her birthday she told me that she knows that I know the day but asked not to tell others in our department. If she prefers a low profile about her birthday, you'll have to respect that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 17, 2022 Share Posted June 17, 2022 4 hours ago, Plutarh said: A female coworker of mine who' s birthday was yestarday has the behaviour to stay low when it comes for her birthday. She doesn't want to tell our colleagues about the event. She says if other colleagues are not to closed to her all the year why to be fake in one day. I can say we are closed as coworkers, not other meaning (both married, she's 55 y.o. and I' m 35 y.o.). I've done the lobby for her to come in our departament from another inside the company. She's a hard working person and very proffesional. For her birthday she told me that she knows that I know the day but asked not to tell others in our department. The day come, I've congratulated her when we were only the two us. At the ending of theb day work she went with another female coworker and friend of her to take a drink. My plan was to offer her flowers at the departure from the workplace, no one to see. Due to her meeting at the bar with the female coworker I've changed my mind. Now I'm thinking if it would be a good choice to offer her flowers at the end of this day, next dat after b-day ? PS: I see the gesture of offering flowers as coming from a young coworker to and older lady coworker, being a act of respect, nothing more. No, it’s inappropriate. Do not give flowers and gifts to a female coworker. She wants to keep it low key and trusted you to not make a big deal of it. If you respect her then continue respecting her at work and focus on your job. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 17, 2022 Share Posted June 17, 2022 13 hours ago, Plutarh said: I can say we are closed as coworkers, not other meaning (both married, she's 55 y.o. and I' m 35 y.o.). I've done the lobby for her to come in our departament from another inside the company. She's a hard working person and very proffesional. Not a good idea for the simple fact that you're both married. Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted June 17, 2022 Share Posted June 17, 2022 14 hours ago, Plutarh said: Now I'm thinking if it would be a good choice to offer her flowers at the end of this day, next dat after b-day ? PS: I see the gesture of offering flowers as coming from a young coworker to and older lady coworker, being a act of respect, nothing more. No. It might be interpreted as you are interested in her romantically. 14 hours ago, Plutarh said: The day come, I've congratulated her when we were only the two us. That is more than enough. Stop overthinking this. Her birthday came and went, you wished her a Happy Birthday, case closed, move on. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 18, 2022 Share Posted June 18, 2022 I think getting her flowers would be very weird and inappropriate. Especially since she said she doesn't want a big deal to be made about her birthday and she doesn't want anyone in the workplace to know about it. There's no need for you to get her flowers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 18, 2022 Share Posted June 18, 2022 The ages are a bit different, but is this the same older women as in this thread? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Plutarh Posted June 18, 2022 Author Share Posted June 18, 2022 "The ages are a bit different, but is this the same older women as in this thread? " No, she is not the same lady. The lady which behaviour I've described in the last year topic works in other department. About her behaviour...she is just friendly and have a lot of confidence in my work skills. That's all. Returning to the topic, the day passed and I've give up the ideea to offer flowers to my coworker the day after her birthday. At least it was her request to stay quiet about the event. I don't want to be misunderstood. The ideea to offer her flowers came from my polite kind of being. No other interest: nor proffesional, nor romantic. But she told me a few years ago that she doesn't like flowers. The flowers in her house don't resist to much. So I think that simply wishing her all the best was just enough. Thank you for your smart advises. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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