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My friend wants me to loan him money for his sleepapnea machine but should I?


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Happy Lemming

Here is a suggestion, why doesn't he pick up a used bike at Goodwill or Craigslist for cheap.  While he is using that bike he can save up and pay cash for the $1,000 one.

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I think others have said it already.

That's why there is 2 things in this world

Credit cards, and financing

like you buy items in 3-4 portion payments.

or buy from credit card, then pay it back.

Say no, let's see if this "Friend" stay friend or turn into "Fiend" 

There is nothing wrong with helping a friend once, twice, or thrice..

But on the regular is just so annoying and burdensome! 

Edited by Noproblem
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One more person saying "don't do it."

The promised interest makes it an even worse idea, not better. Any interest he gives you will only foster resentment. "I can't believe my friend is accepting money from me for nothing."

The thing is, this guy can't even pay his rent on time. How is he going to pull an extra 1k, plus interest, out of his income to repay this debt?

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On 6/8/2022 at 2:24 PM, ironpony said:

Oh is it dragging though, or maybe it's just asking?

You've gotten a lot of good advice in this thread.  We are just going around in circles now.

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On 6/8/2022 at 9:51 PM, IrinaM said:

One more person saying "don't do it."

The promised interest makes it an even worse idea, not better. Any interest he gives you will only foster resentment. "I can't believe my friend is accepting money from me for nothing."

The thing is, this guy can't even pay his rent on time. How is he going to pull an extra 1k, plus interest, out of his income to repay this debt?

Oh well he's always paid me back for it before, so he has been good about it before, so I took that under consideration.

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My friend asked me to loan him $2000 for a sleep apnea machine machine, because he is having problems breathing while sleeping.

He says he can pay me back because the way the health insurance works is, once he pays that amount the insurance company reimburses him two weeks later.
But I am weary about lending him $2000.  I don't know if these insurance companies can be set up so they will pay me back the money instead of him, if I am the one paying, but I can try to look into it.  But if not, what do you think?

My friend says that sleep apnea is dangerous for his breathing, and he is worried and wants to get the machine, which is understandable.  But my gf says she feels he may be being a bit dramatic about it as lots of people have sleep apnea machine and are fine.

Now according to the internet there are cheaper sleep apnea machines than that, but maybe he needs a special kind for his condition, or maybe the insurance company will only reimburse a certain kind perhaps.  I am waiting to find out more.

But what do you think?  If his health and his life perhaps are at steak, should I lend him the money for it and hope the insurance company pays him back, to pay me, like he said?

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Is this the same guy who wanted a loan to buy a bike?  Did you say "no" to him?   If so, I bet this is a different strategy to get money from you for a bike.   

Either way, the answer is the same as last time - if you're going to lend the money, do your due diligence on both his purchase and insurance, and in this case, order the machine on his behalf.  Do not give him cash!!   lf you're not comfortable doing the math and investigating both the purchase and the insurance, tell him to take out a short term loan with a lender.   

And don't come back to me with the "but it's life or death" thing because it makes no difference to the risk you'd be facing or the fact that he could get a short term loan from a bank or other lender.  

Edited by basil67
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6 hours ago, basil67 said:

Is this the same guy who wanted a loan to buy a bike?  Did you say "no" to him?   If so, I bet this is a different strategy to get money from you for a bike.   

Either way, the answer is the same as last time - if you're going to lend the money, do your due diligence on both his purchase and insurance, and in this case, order the machine on his behalf.  Do not give him cash!!   lf you're not comfortable doing the math and investigating both the purchase and the insurance, tell him to take out a short term loan with a lender.   

And don't come back to me with the "but it's life or death" thing because it makes no difference to the risk you'd be facing or the fact that he could get a short term loan from a bank or other lender.  

yeah it's the same guy as the bike and I told him no one that one. However. I just thought life and death is more important than a bike though in comparison?

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spiritedaway2003

Do you have a hard time saying no?  If it's a health issue or if it's a life or death situation, he can get it on credit cards, sell his things, get a second job, or ask his family.  Why is he coming to you for money?

You don't need to find more information.  You're being taken advantaged of.  Just say no. 

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5 hours ago, ironpony said:

yeah it's the same guy as the bike and I told him no one that one. However. I just thought life and death is more important than a bike though in comparison?

He needs to speak with his physicians, insurance, pharmacy, etc. and get proper reimbursement and/or assistance for a required medical device. Let him figure this out. He also needs to talk a better accountant as to what is tax-deductible as far as required medical devices and out-of-pocket costs.

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@ironpony are you serious?  

Did you read the good advice you were given here about not lending money to friends?  This is the same exact thing.  I think it's time for you to end this friendship because this is getting out of control.   The way he keeps asking you for money is completely inappropriate.  This is not the way a friend should be treating you, viewing you as his personal bank or ATM machine.  His problems are NOT your problems.  Learn to put up and maintain boundaries with friends.  I hate to say it but I think this guy is trying to take advantage of you maybe because he knows you are not neurotypical and he knows that you don't seem to have the judgment to say no.

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