Alfie78 Posted June 18, 2022 Share Posted June 18, 2022 (edited) Met a women online, hands full with family, single for some time, but we seemed like a sure thing ….. Hit it off, it went pretty quick the three months, a lot of talking late, messaging, dates, just had an great night away together. I thought it was mutual, I was certainly beginning to like her , her words were she genuinely cares for me. It was mutual, she asked me if she was my girlfriend after a month, and exclusive…….. Then this week, it’s on slow, cancelled twice, due to family commitments, I’m laid back so this doesn’t bother me. Then I send a nice message, and get one back advising that she needs to be honest, there is something stopping her spending more time with me! And she isn’t sure why. She asks me to phone her later, to work through it, I just said if you have made your decision, then I can’t really see what a call would do, people either want someone in there life or not!? another txt your amazing and deserve someone who can give you time, more than I can. And take care of you ….. (and likely disappeared from my life) I’m old enough and wise enough to know that potentially she may have met someone else, or she just wanted to spend time with her family. 10 days ago, I was breaking down her walls, she cared, she has an amazing time with me, the sex was great etc etc….. and then this…. gutted is not the word, do I contact her in a few days? If she said all she said you would think that meant something? Edited June 18, 2022 by Alfie78 N 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 18, 2022 Share Posted June 18, 2022 42 minutes ago, Alfie78 said: advising that she needs to be honest, there is something stopping her spending more time with me! And she isn’t sure why. another txt your amazing and deserve someone who can give you time, more than I can. And take care of you Sorry this happened. She seems overwhelmed or not ready to date. Don't contact her, she has your contact info if she changes her mind. Is she on/off with someone? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alfie78 Posted June 18, 2022 Author Share Posted June 18, 2022 13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this happened. She seems overwhelmed or not ready to date. Don't contact her, she has your contact info if she changes her mind. Is she on/off with someone? All true points, it’s tough when you start planning a summer, and then the carpet is pulled from your feet. she was single for a while… she has just moved to a new place, and seems to be discovering that and time with family. “It’s not you it’s me, or the situation” I was given….. been nothing but supportive and understanding, 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 She’s not interested in continuing anything with you so your first approach was best. Let her go and don’t stay in contact. It could have been anything but from what you describe the honeymoon period was brief and over and she didn’t want to pursue this further. Do you feel like it went too quickly or progressed faster than you might have liked? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 11 hours ago, Alfie78 said: do I contact her in a few days? I don't see much point, if I'm being honest. Especially after you (rightly) said this: 11 hours ago, Alfie78 said: I just said if you have made your decision, then I can’t really see what a call would do What would contacting her in a few days accomplish? I think she was just trying to be nice when she suggested you call her, but her mind was already made up. For whatever reason, it's not what she wants and I don't think reaching out in a few days will change anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alfie78 Posted June 19, 2022 Author Share Posted June 19, 2022 7 hours ago, glows said: She’s not interested in continuing anything with you so your first approach was best. Let her go and don’t stay in contact. It could have been anything but from what you describe the honeymoon period was brief and over and she didn’t want to pursue this further. Do you feel like it went too quickly or progressed faster than you might have liked? I’m prepared myself for NC, deleted unfollowed, and then woke up to an unexpected message, explaining, she is content and happy and just a wants to spend time with her family. But she cares and enjoys time together, we are close. But then says wants to part on good terms because she cares about me… I’ve told her I’ll give you space, and you know where I am……. If you don’t want me in your life I’m not the right person. I would have met on her terms, she does take on too much and try to be everything to everyone, juggling……. And I guess the first ball dropped will be the relationship …… really appreciate the responses ….. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alfie78 Posted July 22, 2022 Author Share Posted July 22, 2022 Following this - situ, we worked things out, we started really getting close. And then the cancellations have started, we were meant to be going away she can’t due to renovation work starting - ok no problem. then today I get this message, she is currently away to her families house. Hi we have a good morning etc etc. I’m going to step back from texting for a few days, because it’s becoming perfunctory and it feels like neither of us really want too? But have a lovely weekend, I’ll catch up in a few days!! I admittedly have not been in too much contact, because I thought she needed downtime with family. Welcome thoughts, I’m in disbelief, but also getting to feel I need to end this one. Which is sad, but there is clearly something angering or causing her to feel like this?! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 23, 2022 Share Posted July 23, 2022 8 hours ago, Alfie78 said: I’m in disbelief With respect, I am not sure why that is. Reading what brought you here in the first place, this outcome was actually quite predictable. She had already pulled back and told you she wasn't really on the same page. That was your sign that this wasn't going to be worth pursuing. And here she seems to be backing away again. Time to wrap this one up so you can move on to a woman who likes you as much as you like her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 23, 2022 Share Posted July 23, 2022 It may be time to use the delete and block functions on your messaging apps social media and devices. That way it spares you of the continued nonsense of trying to keep this going. It will help you move forward and invest your time in women who are more clearly ready willing and able to date and show more concrete interest. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted July 23, 2022 Share Posted July 23, 2022 Honestly, I think you deserve better than this. I think you do too. Link to post Share on other sites
letotron454 Posted July 23, 2022 Share Posted July 23, 2022 16 hours ago, Alfie78 said: Following this - situ, we worked things out, we started really getting close. And then the cancellations have started, we were meant to be going away she can’t due to renovation work starting - ok no problem. then today I get this message, she is currently away to her families house. Hi we have a good morning etc etc. I’m going to step back from texting for a few days, because it’s becoming perfunctory and it feels like neither of us really want too? But have a lovely weekend, I’ll catch up in a few days!! I admittedly have not been in too much contact, because I thought she needed downtime with family. Welcome thoughts, I’m in disbelief, but also getting to feel I need to end this one. Which is sad, but there is clearly something angering or causing her to feel like this?! Ending sounds like the best course of action. To me, it sounds like she doesn't want to be in a relationship but wants to keep you on the proverbial hook in case she changes her mind. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alfie78 Posted July 24, 2022 Author Share Posted July 24, 2022 I ended it today, 3 days of no contact on her ‘rules’, but the predictable liking pictures on my social media, just confirmed everything, and shows why she has been single for 7 years. Kind of expecting her to turn up at my door because she will want to get the last laugh in - I know her. i can’t take that chance of someone of continually cancelling (and then you feel low each time) and are stuck in each Saturday. im sad because I believed we could have been good, but she kept using her family as an excuse, she had a melt down in my arms recently too, but then she sends me shitty messages. I’ve been nothing but supportive and a gentleman. chapter closed. Thank you all I appreciate this 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 24, 2022 Share Posted July 24, 2022 30 minutes ago, Alfie78 said: I ended it today, 3 days of no contact on her ‘rules’, but the predictable liking pictures on my social media Delete and block her on all your social media and messaging apps. Don't waste your headspace on her "likes". 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alfie78 Posted July 25, 2022 Author Share Posted July 25, 2022 13 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Delete and block her on all your social media and messaging apps. Don't waste your headspace on her "likes". Appreciate that, I’ve followed the advice, not going to lie I will miss her, but she seems to have many faces! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bigmil Posted July 29, 2022 Share Posted July 29, 2022 On 7/23/2022 at 9:51 AM, letotron454 said: Ending sounds like the best course of action. To me, it sounds like she doesn't want to be in a relationship but wants to keep you on the proverbial hook in case she changes her mind. This. She wanted to remain friends because and/or maintain contact so she could keep you as an option. Awesome job blocking her and moving on. Sorry you went through that, we've all been there brother. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted July 30, 2022 Share Posted July 30, 2022 On 6/19/2022 at 4:05 AM, Alfie78 said: Met a women online, hands full with family, single for some time, but we seemed like a sure thing ….. Hit it off, it went pretty quick the three months, a lot of talking late, messaging, dates, just had an great night away together. I thought it was mutual, I was certainly beginning to like her , her words were she genuinely cares for me. It was mutual, she asked me if she was my girlfriend after a month, and exclusive…….. Then this week, it’s on slow, cancelled twice, due to family commitments, I’m laid back so this doesn’t bother me. Then I send a nice message, and get one back advising that she needs to be honest, there is something stopping her spending more time with me! And she isn’t sure why. She asks me to phone her later, to work through it, I just said if you have made your decision, then I can’t really see what a call would do, people either want someone in there life or not!? another txt your amazing and deserve someone who can give you time, more than I can. And take care of you ….. (and likely disappeared from my life) I’m old enough and wise enough to know that potentially she may have met someone else, or she just wanted to spend time with her family. 10 days ago, I was breaking down her walls, she cared, she has an amazing time with me, the sex was great etc etc….. and then this…. gutted is not the word, do I contact her in a few days? If she said all she said you would think that meant something? The mixed messaging and your mixed feelings is your clue here. You shouldn't feel confused about someone's intentions. The fact you're seeking answers on a forum here in lies your answer. Not a good thing Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 30, 2022 Share Posted July 30, 2022 On 7/24/2022 at 4:25 AM, Alfie78 said: I ended it today, 3 days of no contact on her ‘rules’, but the predictable liking pictures on my social media, just confirmed everything, and shows why she has been single for 7 years. Kind of expecting her to turn up at my door because she will want to get the last laugh in - I know her. i can’t take that chance of someone of continually cancelling (and then you feel low each time) and are stuck in each Saturday. im sad because I believed we could have been good, but she kept using her family as an excuse, she had a melt down in my arms recently too, but then she sends me shitty messages. I’ve been nothing but supportive and a gentleman. chapter closed. Thank you all I appreciate this I’m sorry to hear this. You’ve let her go but are free to date someone else who appreciates you more. Link to post Share on other sites
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