Myabee Posted June 22, 2022 Share Posted June 22, 2022 23 hours ago, OntheEdge21 said: I've tried having an honest conversation with her. Maybe she is afraid of telling me the whole truth because it will lead to divorce. But will I always be wondering if she is telling the truth now? Did she end it when she said she did? Did she continue on? What did she tell him? etc. etc. The only way for this to not lead to divorce and repair is for total honesty here. Is he on her social media? I'd be blunt and ask to see her phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Will am I Posted June 23, 2022 Share Posted June 23, 2022 7 hours ago, OntheEdge21 said: She said she liked him, described as a crush. Like I said, I think there was more. She was emotionally unfaithful and was crushed when I made her block him. I am not crazy, I know she is hiding the entire story. I would have taken a softer approach. Praised her for admitting the crush, made her comfortable to share anything more she needed to share. ”made her block him”: that’s policing your partner. I’d prefer to stay away ftom that. You should however explain how her behavior is affecting you and also indicate where your red line is, and tbat you will break up if she crosses that. Key is that you don’t want to force your spouse into appropriate behavior; is has to come from within herself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted June 23, 2022 Share Posted June 23, 2022 On 6/21/2022 at 4:04 PM, OntheEdge21 said: I guess the one question that is killing me is if I am able to move on with her even I think she's being dishonest about the length and extent of the affair? I know it's something only I can answer, but just trying to see what the consensus is. Then have her take a polygraph in order to rebuild the trust she’s broken. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Will am I Posted June 23, 2022 Share Posted June 23, 2022 It's been referred to as "trickle truthing". She provides OP with incremental bits of truth instead of spilling her heart and confessing everything at once. Two explanations. 1. she's embarrassed and afraid to confess 2. she's still intending to keep the affair private (i.e. continuing the affair) and trying to share the minimal information that will get her off the hook The reason why I proposed the soft approach is that it could help to find the real truth by eliminating explanation 1. Either she will break and in a tearful conversation everything will come out. Or she's still trickle truthing even after being comforted that it's OK to spill her heart. In that case you could assume that she's intentionally staying in an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Uruktopi Posted June 23, 2022 Share Posted June 23, 2022 (edited) The "symptom" perspective when diagnosed on lack of loyalty seems to have some truth in it. Even so whenever I read about, sorry if I can´t avoid to remember those forensic documents that, after the exam of a corpse of s0meone killed with an axe, rightgy report that when alive the victim also had caries. Edited June 23, 2022 by Uruktopi Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted June 23, 2022 Share Posted June 23, 2022 Hi On the edge. Can you clarify how long you have been married, whether you have kids and how old the two of you are? The fact that you state you cannot trust your wife leads one to think that your marriage is broken and cannot be repaired at this stage. It would require a super human effort on the part of your wife to restore the trust that she has broken. You too, would have to put in effort to work on your marriage and that is possible only if there is trust. It is better to end a relationship which is broken beyond repair than to try to fix it when you know there will be huge cracks in it. Think about it. Warm regards Link to post Share on other sites
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