ExpatInItaly Posted June 26, 2022 Share Posted June 26, 2022 I don't think money is the reason he left. He might feel resentful about it to some extent, yes, but I don't think that's the whole story. He's 43 and you've been together for 25 years. So, he's been with you since he was just 18 years old. That's very young to settle down with one life partner forever. It works for some people, but I get the impression it was not great for him. He's already had one affair. My sense is that he is wanting to see what else is out there and hasn't really been emotionally present in your marriage for a long time. Perhaps there is already another woman in his life again. But he is clearly no longer committed. I also don't really buy into the concept of a mid-life crisis, per se. It's not something one "catches". I think it's often used as a label when people can't explain why one partner is checking out of the relationship, or when the real explanation is too painful to bear (in this case, that he doesn't love you that way anymore) It sounds more like he realizes he can't stay in a marriage when his heart really isn't in it any longer. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Will am I Posted June 26, 2022 Share Posted June 26, 2022 This sounds to me like a very balanced and realistic assessment of the situation. As for “midlife crisis” it doesn’t need to be a crisis in that sense of the word. But there is definitely “midlife” in this age. I recognize all too well, looking further ahead and beling less willing to accept an ongoing unhappy situation. The change of perspective that comes with this age can easily tempt men into affairs or cause them to consider a divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 26, 2022 Share Posted June 26, 2022 10 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: I don't think money is the reason he left. It’s going to cost him dearly, in the event of divorce. It was to his financial advantage to stay in his marriage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 27, 2022 Share Posted June 27, 2022 (edited) On 6/24/2022 at 3:11 PM, heartwhole2 said: Also, why does he get to be away from the kids 100% of the time? Can you alternate who is in the home with the kids until you figure out if you're officially separating? Their kids are all adults except the 17 year old and at their ages they like to hang with their friends. Edited June 27, 2022 by stillafool 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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