slubberdegullion Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Honesty has always been at or near the top of the list of most desireable traits in a man or woman. But is that what we really want? I wonder sometimes. Little white lies are often seen as "communication lubrication" to help keep things on an even keel and civil in the house. But what if, for just one day, we were perfectly honest with our partners? Could the relationship handle that? For instance:What if he said, "Why, yes, you DO look fat in those pants"?What if she said, "Yes, it DOES matter and it IS a big deal when you can't get it up!"?What if a couple said, "I really wish I didn't have kids"?What if he said, "I only do things around the house because if I don't you won't put out"?What if she said, "I only am in this relationship with you because you bring in the money"? Could a relationship deal with that for just one day without totally breaking down? Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 I think it really depends on how much the people invovled live in reality and how much they live in fantasy land. Plus what the confession is would make a difference as well. For instance, I could handle, "Why, yes, you DO look fat in those pants"? Matter of fact I threw out a pair of pants after just such a statement and joined a cycling class. On the other hand I could not handle: "I only am in this relationship with you because you bring in the money"? The other examples you've given haven't come up yet in our relationship. It really depends how much you really want to know what your partner is thinking. Not to mention delivery. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Yeah, it's like that movie "Liar Liar". One of my good friends and I used to work together. Every couple of weeks we'd play "What would you say to so and so if you could say whatever is on your mind" and then we'd answer. Sometimes it would go an hour or more and it always made us feel better, and never went beyond my office. Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Of course not, thank God we don't say everything that goes through our mind. Seriously, I realize that most of the things (usually the bad things) that I think are just temporary/not the most rational/objective thoughts, and that's why I don't say them. Because I know that's not how I truly, deeply feel. It's just how I may feel "right now", but I also know that if it passes in 5 minutes, it's definitely not worth mentioning. It would hurt him for no reason and I would regret it for sure. Sometimes I complain and whine so much, I know very well that my husband's thinking: "I wish I could tie that b?tch to a tree and leave her outside all day", but then I stop whining and apologize and he smiles and we know things are good again. If he really said it out loud, you'd see some dishes flying at his a$$ I wouldn't want anyone who's 100% honest. Nobody would. Honesty is good within healthy limits. Anyway, that's the nice thing about love. You sometimes control yourself and watch your mouth, because you really care about your partner's feelings and wouldn't want to hurt them. Link to post Share on other sites
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