Emotional Control of PMS. How do I do it?

[basscatcher]

Dang it anyways, it's PMS time and I am losing control of my emotions. Logically I know I have not reason to feel insecure but damn it I am.

I'm 1 1/2 weeks away from my lovely friend visiting and I am flipping out logically and emotionally.

I have this great guy in my life and I am finding myself becoming all insecure about him and he has given me NO reason to be. He calls me every day. We see each other for a beer almost every evening. He is affectionate towards me and attentive. He is wonderful.

But now at this time of my PMS stage--he has a sore tooth and the pain is moving into his ear, he is fighting off the flu, he is tired and I know for a fact he has been burning the candle at both ends since I came into his life. I know logically he is exhausted and just needs some quiet, down time.

So why the hell is my insecuritites kicking in. Yesterday I was struggling with feeling blown off by him because he was at home resting (I know he needs it badly) and I wanted to see him. I found myself flaking. I actually questioned whether or not he was really into me!! He is the one who calls 98% of the time. (daily). He is the one who makes the suggestion to go have a beer almost every evening. He definetly shows me he is interested.

 

So my questions are:

 

Does anyone else go through this emotional insecurity when they are PMSing. Or does any man deal with his woman getting like this each month?

 

Next questioni is:

 

How do you deal with the emotions? How do you control the emotions? Is there anything (herbal, supplimental--no prescription drugs!) that can be taken when these emotions hit?

 

I'm thinking St. Johns Wort but its a hormonal fluctuation isn't it? Please help if you can. I hate when I get like this. I feel the battle insde of myself.

One moment I'm fine, feel stable and secure, then next I feel unloved, neglected, ignored and blown off. Even my thoughts are affected. I know that I have no reason to think negatively but my thoughts float off where they don't need to self inflict myself.

 

I need to get a grip with this somehow. I dread this. I get all emotional, needy and want to be pampered with lots of attention. Is there anything I can do?

[alphamale]

chill, man....

[basscatcher]

chill, man....

 

HOW?? I'm all over the map.. This female needs help.. Not only am I sexually deprive right now--3 months but these damn PMS hormones are flipping me out..

 

Geeze!!! I'm trying to chill!!! and thats mamm not man!

[lindya]

Does anyone else go through this emotional insecurity when they are PMSing.

 

Not every month, but I do get it sometimes

 

How do you deal with the emotions? How do you control the emotions?

 

Evening Primrose Oil is meant to be good for PMT. Controlling emotions - well, I don't think that's a process anybody masters overnight. I find that knowing I've got PMT can help me to rationalise the way I feel...then I automatically feel calmer and more in control. If I'm feeling bleak for purely hormonal reasons then an hour or so of crying my eyes out will leave me feeling quite relaxed and chirpy - though not ravishingly beautiful, it must be said.

 

I need to get a grip with this somehow. I dread this. I get all emotional, needy and want to be pampered with lots of attention. Is there anything I can do?

 

The fact that you're noticing this shows you've got good self-awareness. I suppose it's an idea for you to plan for this time of the month. Try to avoid scheduling in stressful activities, book in a couple of pampering beauty treatments. I think that once people feel gloomy they're less inclined to treat yourself in this way - so advance planning sounds pretty key for you.

[basscatcher]

Thank you Lindya.. That was better advice then what ALPHA gave me. sorry Alpha--unless you can pamper me and baby me your words wont fix me.. So chill man!!

[Outcast]

Does anyone else go through this emotional insecurity when they are PMSing.

 

Of course. Google PMS and you'll find a few hundred thousand sites about it for just that reason.

 

Or does any man deal with his woman getting like this each month?

 

The mature ones realize that it's a chemical imbalance and govern themselves accordingly. The immature ones get in a snit.

 

How do you deal with the emotions? How do you control the emotions? Is there anything (herbal, supplimental--no prescription drugs!) that can be taken when these emotions hit?

 

You understand that your emotions are generally a product of your chemicals and that your chemicals, particulary seratonin, become unbalanced. Then you find the treatments that work for you.

 

 

I'm thinking St. Johns Wort but its a hormonal fluctuation isn't it?

 

St. John's Wort is used for depression, not PMS, and can have some troublesome side-effects. Don't use any remedy, 'herbal' or otherwise, without at least talking to your pharmacist and asking about contraindications.

 

Here's an excellent site:

http://www.pdrhealth.com/content/women_health/chapters/fgwh03.shtml

[Calimara]

I have the same problem - the week before I get emotional, depressed and have anxiety attacks. I know it's just PMS and I know NOT to make any major decisions during that week because I don't trust myself!

 

It seems to have gotten worse once I hit my 40's. I have heard from several sources that 1200 mg. of calcium will drastically help mood swings and depression but you must take it daily for at least 3 months for it to start making a difference.

 

I wish Vicodin wasn't addictive - I'd live off it forever - it makes me chill out and function like a sane person but I'm not a druggie so I can't resort to that.

 

I get out and exercise (walk) during the week I have PMS. The minute I get out the door and start walking I realize it's just PMS - chill out and this too shall pass.

[Hot Coco]

Hey Pad,

 

Yup I get that too. Just don't let him see you that way (yet!) Don't call him either while you're all needy and insecure...too soon for that now. Plenty of time for that later! hee hee

 

Take a soothing bath tonight. Enjoy the break from him for now. Reflect on the last few weeks. Renew yourself and look forward to good times!

[slubberdegullion]

At the risk of sounding cold and callous... just deal with it. When you feel like crying over nothing, stop. When you feel like barking at your partner or kids, stop. When you feel those insecurities welling up inside, stop. When you feel negative thoughts intruding, stop.

 

It's simple. But no one said it was easy.

[Hot Coco]

Only a MAN would say that!

[Tangerina]

OH my gosh, that is so 100% going on with me right now! It is still 1.5 weeks for me too which is why it is wierding me out, but when I think about it that is how it always is, I juts always expect it to be shorter...

 

I am doing that whole insecure thing basically cuz I spent the weekend with my BF, called him monday but he was kinda tipsy at a halloween party so we didn't talk long or about anything... then I called him tuesday and we has what would normally be considered by me to be a long and good talk, but I still feel insecure, because he didn't call me yesterday... but the thing is we usually don't talk every single day when we are this busy with school (midterms?!?!?) so it isn't unusual... I think I triggered it since I wish I was at the party with him instead of him alone talking to girls... cuz he told me, "not many people showed up (at his friend's) party, but I met some nice girls from (his college) who were happy they had met someone smart to talk to, so that was fun I guess...." he wasn't trying to make me jealous, he just was relating that it made him happy to have people think he was smart... but it triggered this feeling and now I know I can't get rid of it til next Friday....

 

Come to think of it, last cycle I spent the week before my period being jealous and insecure for small and stupid (tho better than this non-reason I have this month) reasons as well... but normally I feel 100% secure and happy with this guy, what is up with that!!!!

[ThumbingMyWay]

SMP

 

 

[slubberdegullion]

Only a MAN would say that!

I'm not exactly sure, but I think I've just been insulted. (No offence taken.)

 

Yes, of course a man would say that. Men have no desire to have their world turned upside down because of a reason that is totally beyond their control.

[JS17]

I wouldn't necessarily say only a man would say that. I would say only someone who either hasn't experienced or doesn't understand hormonal fluctuations.

[Hot Coco]

You're right...so I should have said:

 

Only ALL living creatures who aren't human females would say that!

[slubberdegullion]

Well, JS17, you may be right, but then again...

 

My ex used to have extreme mood swings, and during that time in her cycle it was even worse. She'd yell and cry and holler and all the rest for literally no reason at all. She occasionally got violent, and pranged a Thermos cap off of my head once (she had a pretty good arm, too, and I had a goose egg that lasted about a week). My crime was turning off the TV when she was in the kitchen (she wasn't watching it).

 

So I did some research, learned about the flow of estrogen and testosterone, and came to understand what was happening in her body and her mind.

 

Armed with this newfound knowledge, I had a better appreciation for what she was experiencing.

 

But... and this is a BIG but... I also learned that the mood swings and so forth were a product of her thought processes, and were only triggered by hormonal issues. And, like any thought process, anyone who has a functioning limbic system can learn to control them.

 

I never said it was easy, but the simple fact is that it's not something anyone else can manage. A sufferer has to take charge of his/her own situation, and remedy it before it causes damage.

 

This goes for guys too, obviously. It is entirely unacceptable for a man to emotionally bring the stresses of his work home with him and bark at his wife and kids because of something that is completely out of their control.

[JS17]

There are men that experience hormonal fluctuations too. Just not related to PMS.

[Hot Coco]

There are men that experience hormonal fluctuations too. Just not related to PMS.

 

Yes, that's very true...I was just being silly.

[JS17]

And, like any thought process, anyone who has a functioning limbic system can learn to control them.

There are probably a ton of people here who will disagree with me but I don't believe that you can learn to control your body chemistry or emotions. You can learn how to control your actions though.

 

I believe that it's ok to feel the things that changing hormones can bring about, anger, depression, sadness, as long as you're aware of them and don't take it out on others. It wasn't ok for your exw to haul off and hit you but it was ok for her to feel angry. She can't control the fact that she was angry but she could control how she handled it by not hitting you and telling you that she felt angry but knew it was due to her PMS. (Aside from all of that, the way you describe her sounds like she has an anger problem and shouldn't be confused with PMS)

[basscatcher]

funny how this thread came back up.

I am to start my dear old friend anyday, time, momemt now.

Last friday night the insecurity kicked in and he noticed it. I didn't try to but he was perceptive enough to see it. I DID warn him about how PMS affects me and he said good at least you don't become a B*tch.. I said no I become insecure and emotional..

 

When he recognized my PMS mood in the moment he hugged me, held me close, and paid more eye contact and attention towards me. That helped alot.. Just a little more affection and I was fine..

 

I have been fine this whole week but I am dreading the floodgates opening. We are suppoe to go out tomorrow night for Bday parties and I didn't want to have it then.. Dang it anyways. YUCK... I didn't want to carry a purse around... shyt..

[slubberdegullion]

You can learn how to control your actions though.

You're absolutely right. I guess I didn't make that clear in my post.

[slubberdegullion]

I DID warn him about how PMS affects me and he said good at least you don't become a B*tch.. I said no I become insecure and emotional.

Pada, I wish more women were like you. Being clear with your man about the hows and whys of this mystery of PMS is very, very smart, and shows that you have a good sense of self-mastery. Congratulations. Your new beau is a lucky guy.

[JS17]

You're absolutely right. I guess I didn't make that clear in my post.

Thanks slubber I think a lot of people believe that you can control your emotions AND your actions. I don't believe that you can or should have to control your emotions. What you feel can't be right or wrong...what you do with it can be.

[basscatcher]

Pada, I wish more women were like you. Being clear with your man about the hows and whys of this mystery of PMS is very, very smart, and shows that you have a good sense of self-mastery. Congratulations. Your new beau is a lucky guy.

 

Thank you, I have learned it is best to be honest and warn my man so he can be prepared and understand as best he can. It only fair..

 

It helps if you are in tune with yourself also. Which I believe I am..

 

{keep a airline ticket availabe in case my new beau and I dont work. haha:lmao: } jk

[whichwayisup]

If I do get that kind of PMS my husband knows me well enough to know the signs. He leaves me alone - yet he'll still try to make me laugh. I won't "give in" to the bitchiness of PMS. I DO have control over it but if he purposely bugs me to set me off (Sometimes he does that so he can see me lose it) then it's one of those situations he asked for it. This is stupid, but he'll do it so I can get it out of my system. That is how much this nutcase hubby of mine loves me.

 

My PMS is mostly physical - Migraines, and generally just feeling really yuk! So, I take advil, use the heating pad if I need to and I also do yoga. (And if he's lucky and I'm up for it, we'll have sex!)