ohso Posted June 29, 2022 Share Posted June 29, 2022 My bf invited me on a trip with his friends. I got excited. But later on I realized I will not go because he expected me to hang out with his friends I have never even met all the time. I wanted to go around and explore the city and the area, while he and his friends do their thing and stay in the house the whole time. Sure I would hang with them but not all the time. Besides we're traveling together so that is a lot of hours hanging out with them. Bf said that it's not ok for me to go around like that by myself while he stays in with his friends. That would look bad. And that maybe we'll all go together and do that but only if his friends would want to and just a small amount of time. I don't see the purpose of this trip for me and why was I even invited? If I invited my bf with my friends he doesn't know, I wouldn't mind if he was spending most of his time doing whatever without us. What is this about, who is crazy here? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 29, 2022 Share Posted June 29, 2022 Neither of you is particularly wrong, it's just a difference of opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 29, 2022 Share Posted June 29, 2022 (edited) 48 minutes ago, ohso said: My bf invited me on a trip with his friends. I got excited. But later on I realized I will not go because he expected me to hang out with his friends I have never even met all the time. I wanted to go around and explore the city and the area, while he and his friends do their thing and stay in the house the whole time. Sure I would hang with them but not all the time. Besides we're traveling together so that is a lot of hours hanging out with them. Bf said that it's not ok for me to go around like that by myself while he stays in with his friends. That would look bad. And that maybe we'll all go together and do that but only if his friends would want to and just a small amount of time. I don't see the purpose of this trip for me and why was I even invited? If I invited my bf with my friends he doesn't know, I wouldn't mind if he was spending most of his time doing whatever without us. What is this about, who is crazy here? He’s overly concerned about what his friends think, it seems. This is a guys trip and you’re correct that it’s inappropriate for you to be there. His reasoning preventing you from going out on your own because it “looks bad” sounds unreasonable but it reads only that he’s preoccupied with his friends. It’s selfish for him to want you there and yet restrict you. It’s healthy spending some time apart. Tell him to have a good time and see him when he returns. Plan your own trips with your friends. You’ll have more to talk about later on. I do not suggest having any discussion calling someone crazy. Did he call you that? Edited June 29, 2022 by glows 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 29, 2022 Share Posted June 29, 2022 3 hours ago, ohso said: I don't see the purpose of this trip for me and why was I even invited? It seems like a non-invitation invitation. In other words tag along if you want. No one is crazy or right/wrong. Just say no and do something fun with your people instead. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 29, 2022 Share Posted June 29, 2022 (edited) 12 hours ago, ohso said: I don't see the purpose of this trip for me and why was I even invited? My question - is this a “boys” trip or is this a “couples” trip? If it is a boys trip, I would definitely not go. I would never invite my boyfriend on a “girls” trip - the purpose of which is to spend time with my girlfriends, not the person I’m dating. I would only go if it was couples and then, I would expect to spend time with the other couples and maybe take a little time to be alone together. Edited June 29, 2022 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
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