Postcard from the Dark Side.

[Grinning Maniac]

Loony, you may not have noticed, but I really haven't posted here in a good while. Maybe I'm seeing things from a different perspective, my own anger giving way to some sense of sorrow and reflection, or maybe this particular topic struck a chord, but in any case it's nice to know that you're still kind of a ****.

 

Kisses.

 

 

PS: Yeah I think I sort of relate to the guy in a way. He sounds like I do on a bad day, and I don't think he's off on ALL of what he's said, but it's clear that a lot of it is coming from pain. I didn't have a real girlfriend until I was 18, and I felt sore about that. Hell, I'd be lying to you if I said that I felt the least but loved and appreciated in my life right now. I've got a lot of anger and fear and loneliness inside of me and I'm only 20. This guy's 31. I can't begin to imagine the hurt he's probably going through.

 

I would be willing to bet that despite what he's saying, underneath all of that anger, Bonezuk is a decent guy. He'd almost have to be. You can't feel so pissed off about being alone if you KNOW you're a rotten bastard.

 

That's all I've got for now. Class awaits.

[loony]

Loony, you may not have noticed, but I really haven't posted here in a good while. Maybe I'm seeing things from a different perspective, my own anger giving way to some sense of sorrow and reflection, or maybe this particular topic struck a chord, but in any case it's nice to know that you're still kind of a ****.

 

Kisses.

As always, the perfect gentleman. If you feel compelled to criticize others for their harshness I may as well take the right to point out that your own posts in the past have also not been full of roses and sweet words. Should you believe that you deserve a somewhat more gentle treatment due to recent experiences which have shown you the path to hight enlightment then you should have informed me about it in advance, because I do not keep track of your posts.

[Grinning Maniac]

No, I still think the same things are lowdown and selfish, or idiotic as I always have. I'm just too emotionally tired to bother yelling at people about it anymore. People who are ****ing stupid or selfish aren't going to change unless something mindblowing occurs in their life, and maybe not even then.

 

It's a waste of my time to yell at people about such things. I'm not apathetic to them. Just resolved to the fact that they don't really care. It makes me sad, but there's not much I can do, is there?

[garner]

I totally agree here. It always amazes me how people can be so callous towards those who are hurting - and Bonezuk clearly IS hurting here.

 

I dunno... I guess I was never the type to attack people simply because they are hurting. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

 

So if I say this

 

Q: Are men insecure?

 

A: Yes, and their insecurities should be taken advantage of at every turn. So to all the men out there: You are a stupid fat a**h***; you're not capable of impregnating a woman; your woman is off shagging another man; your life has no meaning; your belly looks fat in that string vest and no amount of personal grooming will ever stop you from looking grotesque. You have piles, constipation, sore balls, mood swings, depression, anxiety and stress.

 

is that okay with you?

[loony]

No, I still think the same things are lowdown and selfish, or idiotic as I always have. I'm just too emotionally tired to bother yelling at people about it anymore. People who are ****ing stupid or selfish aren't going to change unless something mindblowing occurs in their life, and maybe not even then.

 

It's a waste of my time to yell at people about such things. I'm not apathetic to them. Just resolved to the fact that they don't really care. It makes me sad, but there's not much I can do, is there?

I'm not going to claim that I'm one of these sugarsweet posters who are so awfully friendly by nature, but even I have come to realize that yelling at people won't get you far, even if you're telling the purest of truth. If you want them to understand your point of view you will have to explain it rationally and with some compassion. You have to coax them to do the right thing. Neither wants to be treated badly, neither you nor me.

 

I also can understand bonezuk's position, even though I'm a woman I find looking for the right person incredibly boring, frustrating and I hate it. I just hope he will follow some of the well-meant advices.

[SmoochieFace]

So if I say this... is that okay with you?

 

 

I wouldn't care simply because I know those things do not apply to me. Those things wouldn't matter to those people who have high self-esteem and know who they are.

 

Those who would be affected negatively by those comments either have low self-esteem or actually possess those characteristics.

[d'Arthez]

Those who would be affected negatively by those comments either have low self-esteem or actually possess those characteristics.

Absolute nonsense. Explain why men also commented on these points?

[SmoochieFace]

Absolute nonsense. Explain why men also commented on these points?

 

 

Why is it *absolute nonsense*? Explain THAT, please.

[loony]

I wouldn't care simply because I know those things do not apply to me. Those things wouldn't matter to those people who have high self-esteem and know who they are.

 

Those who would be affected negatively by those comments either have low self-esteem or actually possess those characteristics.

You're the one who is always running around and accusing people here to be misandrists whenever they say something negative about certain men. Maybe you should better stop complaining when it doesn't apply to you anyway. If the original poster was a woman who was ranting you would have called her a misandrist and claimed that she was too picky and brainwashed by the media. What a double standard...

[d'Arthez]

SF,

 

Imagine a female, of Danish origin walking up to you. And you being single (not as you are now) and American (as I think you are). And she starts blabbering about stupid Americans are, how they prefer to make love to a specific non-primate and <insert 30 minutes of drivel>, would that make you more or less inclined to date her? After all, her words do not apply to you, so you will not feel offended in the slightest. Nor would her company be upsetting in any way, getting tiring, or even frustrating. No - it does make one iota difference.

 

I am sure it does make a difference to you. And that it will not have a positive impact on the chances of you going on a holiday to Denmark.

 

But of course, Mister relationship researcher knows better than that, does not he?

[SmoochieFace]

SF,

 

Imagine a female, of Danish origin walking up to you. And you being single (not as you are now) and American (as I think you are). And she starts blabbering about stupid Americans are, how they prefer to make love to a specific non-primate and <insert 30 minutes of drivel>, would that make you more or less inclined to date her? After all, her words do not apply to you, so you will not feel offended in the slightest. Nor would her company be upsetting in any way, getting tiring, or even frustrating. No - it does make one iota difference.

 

I am sure it does make a difference to you. And that it will not have a positive impact on the chances of you going on a holiday to Denmark.

 

But of course, Mister relationship researcher knows better than that, does not he?

 

 

:p

 

Ah... little sore about my *researcher* post, eh?

 

In reality, I would probably laugh in that woman's face because I would know that her narrow-minded views are bred out of pure ignorance. I relish witnessing that very thing so I would probably stick around for a while and watch her make a complete ass of herself.

[Mary3]

Posts: 484 Not to sound fruity...but imagine if someone gave the guy a hug? ( First of all how can you give someone a Hug who's caustic remarks make you think he will strangle you when his pot of water boils over ?

 

 

 

It'd be wonderful if empathy and comfort actually came so freely in real life, wouldn't it? Imagine that, if someone actually reached out and showed compassion to a guy who's pain has clearly colored his perceptions a bit unevenly, and did so simply out of the kindness of their heart. That's just surreal isn't it? I dont think he will respond to comforting words and kindness because he truly does need some psychological help. I doubt he would accept a hug from a women at this point to which he refers : A: "Yes, and their insecurities should be taken advantage of at every turn. So to all the women out there: You are a stupid fat cow; you are up the duff; your man is off shagging another bird; your life has no meaning; your bum does look big that dress and no amount of make up will ever stop you from looking like a gelatine hag. You have piles, constipation, period pains, mood swings, depression, anxiety and PMT. But don’t work when you hit 50 you’ll dry up… Just at the point you decide you want babies now that you have reached to the top of your boardroom ego career. Most likely by sleeping your way to the top. }..... ( I think this goes beyond a general hatred of the women that have hurt him. He needs alot of help to put him back into a better perspective. I wonder what he would feel like if I said " You worthless ,balding ,small penis piece of garbage acting infantile, behaving like the useless wart of a hogs bum " Do you think he would respond positively or anyone for that matter. ?

To ask for help and not INSULT will always take people aback . If its help he wants he can kindly say something like " You know I have alot of problems with women in general ( yes its possible he could be polite as other male posters have ) and can you guys offer me some advice." ? His post was a direct attack on women. But the problem is NOT all women are LIKE what he projects them to be. SO starting off with insults will tend to sour the pot .

 

But no... it's probably best if you all ignore him, or make remarks about him being better off turning gay, or sarcastically telling him to seek therapy. That certainly won't make him any more bitter at all towards people... Honestly, if I had a bar of gold for every time that someone in the real world tried to reach out to ME when I was feeling hurt and low, I'd be living in cardboard box.. Some of you were cool, but damn it there's a lot of odium in the air, and it's not just coming from the OP....... ( Sarcastically seeking therapy ?? Well , for many people therapy can help them to discover the whys and hows to where they got to the level they are when they need help. I think sarcasm would have been to tell him to get lost and never try to help him at all. We are human beings here, we react to negativity just as we react to kindness. We did not sugarcoat it for him. We told him our best advice coming from laymen.

 

No. 1 Comment: "Ha! I can SEE why no one wants to date you! Nah-nana-nah-nah!" ( I don't recall that being said but I sense you feel similar to him so I offer you some kind words of advice : Research all you can , read all you can, read these posts and move beyond where you were and find out where you CAN be today with helping yourself to find the kind of life that you want.

 

Is that sarcastic ? Cruel ? Insensitive ?

 

I do feel for the poster but he has a distorted view . Should I have said " Yea women are whorish scum of the earth ! Off with their heads ! " ?

[d'Arthez]

:p

 

Ah... little sore about my *researcher* post, eh?

In reality, I would probably laugh in that woman's face because I would know that her narrow-minded views are bred out of pure ignorance. I relish witnessing that very thing so I would probably stick around for a while and watch her make a complete ass of herself.

So it does matter. QED.

[SmoochieFace]

So it does matter. QED.

 

 

Not in the way you thought it would.

 

You may have been thinking "SF's gonna get mad, pull out his six-shooter, and turn that woman's head into a bloody ruin", right?

 

All over some ignorant-assed remarks, huh? Hey, I'm not George W. Bush!

[d'Arthez]

Those who would be affected negatively by those comments either have low self-esteem or actually possess those characteristics.

 

In reality, I would probably laugh in that woman's face

So, is that what you normally do, when meeting people? Laughing them in the face? Sure ...

[SmoochieFace]

So' date=' is that what you normally do, when meeting people? Laughing them in the face? Sure ...[/quote']

 

 

If they act like a complete dumbass, then hell yeah!

 

Come on, have you NEVER laughed at someone who was making a fool out of him/herself? Ever see someone *lose it* in a supermarket checkout line, petrol station, school, etc.? Hey, people like that are SCREAMING to be made fun of!

 

If I told you "All Danish people suck!" would you let that roll off your back and think that I am a real nutjob for saying something so patently stupid? Get real, man.

[d'Arthez]

If they act like a complete dumbass, then hell yeah!

 

The point is that your own point is absolute crap - and for someone who claims to be a relationship researcher, I may expect at least that some of the points you make sense. QED.

 

Or if you do not believe that, we will pose the next question: are you a complete dumbass to laugh about a complete dumbass, or do you have low self-esteem?

 

I expect a dissertation from the relationship expert, and no less, if you still hold that your point is valid.

[SmoochieFace]

The point is that your own point is absolute crap - and for someone who claims to be a relationship researcher, I may expect at least that some of the points you make sense. QED.

 

Or if you do not believe that, we will pose the next question: are you a complete dumbass to laugh about a complete dumbass, or do you have low self-esteem?

 

I expect a dissertation from the relationship expert, and no less, if you still hold that your point is valid.

 

 

:lmao: :lmao:

 

Goddam... if you're still believing that I REALLY am a *relationship researcher*... wow, somebody really needs to get a clue!

 

I will say that I do not have low self-esteem - simply cuz I will not allow stupid and ignorant crap that is said about me to NEGATIVELY affect me... it just rolls off my back like water rolls off a freshly waxed Corvette.

 

So I take it that you wouldn't laugh at someone who is being a dumbass, right? What would you do... mollycoddle them... take them by the hand and soothe them with some *beep*... "it's all right, go ahead, act like a psycho, blah blah blah." I'd bet you'd probably offer them free analysis too!

 

There's my *dissertation* for ya!

[d'Arthez]

:lmao: :lmao:

 

Goddam... if you're still believing that I REALLY am a *relationship researcher*... wow, somebody really needs to get a clue!

Of course I did not believe that. But an honest and integer human would not make up false claims like that. Laughing about other people's distress might be related to a lack of both. I would certainly not exclude that possibility.

 

I will say that I do not have low self-esteem - simply cuz I will not allow stupid and ignorant crap that is said about me to NEGATIVELY affect me...

If you want to believe that laughing in people's faces is decent behavior, you are free to believe that - and of course it is the epitome of civilized conduct.

 

So I take it that you wouldn't laugh at someone who is being a dumbass, right?

I would be more inclined to laugh at myself than at that person.

[SmoochieFace]

Of course I did not believe that. But an honest and integer human would not make up false claims like that. Laughing about other people's distress might be related to a lack of both. I would certainly not exclude that possibility.

 

 

If you want to believe that laughing in people's faces is decent behavior, you are free to believe that - and of course it is the epitome of civilized conduct.

 

 

I would be more inclined to laugh at myself than at that person.

 

 

Numero uno: WTF is an "integer human???"

 

Numero dos: Better to laugh and let it roll off the back than to react violently

like an insecure and overly sensitive person would.

 

Numero tres: No se, amigo. Eres muy loco!

[d'Arthez]

Numero uno: WTF is an "integer human???"

Sorry. My mistake. The english language is probably one of the least flexible in existence. Integer as in being a person with the highest integrity.

 

Numero dos: Better to laugh and let it roll off the back than to react violently

like an insecure and overly sensitive person would.

By virtue of your own position, you either do not have much self-esteem or are a complete dumbass. If you don't want to believe that (and we all know how accurate beliefs are about one-self), time to change it.

[SmoochieFace]

Sorry. My mistake. The english language is probably one of the least flexible in existence. Integer as in being a person with the highest integrity.

 

 

By virtue of your own position, you either do not have much self-esteem or are a complete dumbass. If you don't want to believe that (and we all know how accurate beliefs are about one-self), time to change it.

 

 

Yeah, English is a sucky language with all of its inconsistencies. Its antiquated spelling certainly doesn't reflect the spoken language. Ever heard that 'fish' can also be spelled as 'ghoti?' At least English doesn't have grammatical gender - we are in league with Basque, Armenian, Finnish, Estonian, Hungarian, Turkish, Chinese, Japanese, and quite possibly many others.

 

Now what was that about me being a *dumbass*?

[lindya]

Back to bonezuk...I note with interest Grinning Maniac's take on the situation. It's heart-warming that the howling rage of another bloke has succeeded in triggering your caring side. From a female perspective, however, I can't bring myself to respond to such a misogynistic rant with a similarly warm, supportive and sympathetic response. The idea of doing so just makes me think.... Pavlov, bells and salivating dogs.

 

I grew up with a parent who vented, ranted and lashed out whenever he pleased and who would always blame others for sparking his rage. My mother would invariably adopt the conciliatory "calm down dear, everything's okay" approach. Did the venting and ranting stop? Well, she was always able to calm "the raging beast" with soft words, but the lost temper episodes increased in number. Even at the age of 10 I was pretty sure that it was only because they always elicited a positive response.

 

It's 2005. Few women are into providing warm hugs, soothing words and comforting mugs of cocoa as a response to bile-filled anti-female rants. Personally, I reserve such comforting actions for gentler expressions of grief and angst.

 

Men are supposed to be practically minded, so start taking a practical approach towards solving your problems, bonezuk. Why not buy the Goleman book on emotional intelligence? Nothing ventured etc. Read up on cognitive behavioural therapy and neurolinguistic programming. You'll find that the soft theories you ridicule can help you immensely if you learn them properly and start seriously applying them. Cease fooling yourself that females are intellectually inferior to males, and you might start getting a more positive response from the female gender. That's about as sympathetic as I can get at the moment. Good luck.

[almostthere]

Ok...Ok...i was wrong...64% of high paid shirks are women. I looked it up again. But still there is a huge difference between where women were as far as career goals and salaries to where they are now. I guess you could just add me to the list of aggrivated men and women who believe in always blaming other people for their misfortune in relationships. I have a lot of women hating male friends...they get so annoying. dont both sexes have the same amount of complaints about each other?

[almostthere]

I guess you could just add me to the list of aggrivated men and women who believe in always blaming other people for their misfortune in relationships.

 

Correction...i guess you could just add me to the list of aggrivated men and women who are tired of those who believe in always blaming other people for their misfortune in relationships.

 

Sorry...about that!!