mortensorchid Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 I have posted on this before, but I think I am at a turning point moment now in which I have made a decision. I had/have a long time friend in a southern state, we met because we are/were both fans of this rock band and we had a group that used to meet once a year in a city and do a weekend together with. I hosted the fan party in my city one summer, he called me afterwards to pick my brain on planning his version of the party in his city. It turned into me and him having our weekly Sunday night talk for years and years. A few years ago, however, things took a turn for the worse... Long story short, he ended up going to jail for 10 months (DUI, outstanding warrant I didn't know about that was just about to expire). He got this girlfriend before the arrest, she and I interacted a few times before - I wanted to inquire as to where I could write him and if he could have visitors even though I am in the Midwest and he is in the South. And I did write him, as did others in our group. After he got out, things went down. His girlfriend hated me and forbad him from talking to me, then systematically got between him and everyone else out there. After years of silence, he reached out to me around Christmas of 2020. We talked once, then his girlfriend got a hold of the phone and lashed out at me (even though he had me in his phone as a man's name). Then they broke up again about a year later, he reached out. He said he thought I was the one for him the whole time. Um... No. I hadn't talked to him in months and thought of him last night. I gave him a call and he answered, we had a catch up on things work and personal. He was living with his daughter, her husband and their baby last we talked a few months ago but they have since moved out. He is the type of guy who needs to live with others and be around others to be validated, I have since determined. He said he is now living with the girlfriend's brother as his new roommate. I asked if he was back with her, the girlfriend who alienated me and others, he said no. Then he said he had to get going and we'll talk soon. I really don't think there's much left for us anymore, friendship wise. I said to others that our relationship had been fractured and it healed up but it's not the same. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 12 minutes ago, mortensorchid said: We talked once, then his girlfriend got a hold of the phone and lashed out at me (even though he had me in his phone as a man's name). Then they broke up again about a year later, he reached out. He said he thought I was the one for him the whole time. Um... No. It's entirely understandable that his girlfriend lashed out at you. If he was thinking that you're "the one" and went to lengths to hide you on his phone while still seeing her, her fury is perfectly understandable. At any rate, it sounds like you're better off without him. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 3, 2022 Share Posted July 3, 2022 Leave the man alone. He’s tormented by his decisions and seems to be depending on the good graces of an ex’s family. He has run ins with the law and admitted he has feelings for you at one point. How valid that is is another matter altogether because you have one messed up person who just needs to get his life back on track. If you don’t reciprocate his feelings in any way, go your separate ways. I agree with you there is nothing here, friendship or otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 3, 2022 Share Posted July 3, 2022 It sounds like this was never a consistent or functional friendship in the first place, so I'm not sure what there even is to "end" here. This guy is surrounded by drama, and he doesn't even live in the same state as you anyway. Just don't bother talking to him anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts