parents and sister relationship has always been bad and is getting worst

[joan123]

I always had a bad relationship with my family. since i can remember I was always getting in fights with my parents and specially my younger sister. Sister and I were like Israel and Palestine. even during texting sometimes we would end up being rude to each other and my parents were always tough and demanding in every aspect. from education to physical health. I was put in swimming, karate and soccer classes at age 7 and had a private tutor to teach me all my despised subjects. After growing up I always thought they thought they were better than me because of their high degree of education, a feat in which I was constantly reminded to be a failure in. My dad was a executive, my mom a dentist, and my sister ended up fast tracking to university and getting her degree before I was even eligible and then also getting her MBA shortly after. I simply stopped at high school diploma since during university I was solely focused on my business idea and I ended up dropping out to focus on that work.

Eventually I moved out after my sister got married and finally got some peace at least while i was home. We would still meet at family functions once a month. I always hated those and still do. Personally it was very difficult life for me even after moving out as I was working multiple jobs to pay for business, and also in deep debt and I was getting nagged to s*** by parents for wasting my time over the phone. After years my side business finally picked up while still having a 9-5 job at the same time for multiple streams of income. Last year I ended up making more income than my parents and sister all combined in 2021. This seems to have irritated them but I have never been expressly heard anything, i just 'felt' it. Whenever work or money was mentioned by everyone would just go silent and ignore me. I must say during the last couple years our conflicts have dramatically reduced but this is not because our relationship has improved, but because contact has been reduced and parents have become more passive to me. If i do ever send them a text or message they do not really reply and at family functions they try to avoid topics around my work or interests and keep the conversation around my sister or their other relatives. I only get into light conversation with them now and avoid serious or political topics. I casually smile when they say something i don't like and I just let it fly. If i don't, all hell breaks loose and either they accuse me of being against their beliefs and values or they just snub me for being unworthy to even respond to.

However recently s*** really hit the fan. Feeling that I deserve to finally celebrate my achievements, i bought my first home after paying off all my debts and also purchased my dream car (No one from my family visited me since I moved into my house after a year). On the day i took delivery of my car I had to drive to my parents home for a family gathering because of baby shower for my sister. She was pregnant for months and my parents could not stop obsessing over it and threw a big party . Long story short after everyone was leaving the party I along with some others watched my in law backing his car out of the driveway and swiping my brand new car and just casually driving away as nothing had happened. It was clear that he noticed he had hit my car as his window was open and  I clearly heard his wife screaming at him for drinking too much and hitting other peoples cars. I was just shocked at his reaction as he just drove away. So I was furious and to my dismay my family members defended the relative and told me I was over reacting. I decided to drive home without any more talking. 

Recently my sister also gave birth. Being busy and with the hospitals not allowing more than 2 visitors i decided to just send a basket of gifts and sending congratulation text messages and wishing them well. I got a 2 word text message of "thank you" in our family whatsapp group. I had a strange feeling that they thought i had underachieved their expectations again but decided not to care and moved on. I hung out with my girlfriend for the long weekend and did some work on my spare time. My girlfriend also expressed that she senses a deep lack of respect from my family to her as well as myself, but that i shouldn't read too much into it. I personally would prefer cutting my family off as they have never been much of a help in anything other than raising me. I am very lost but every time i talk to or think of my family i feel nothing but rage, misery and sadness from their lack of respect.

anyone with similar problems and advice would be appreciated. 

Edited July 5, 2022 by joan123

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, joan123 said:

 My girlfriend also expressed that she senses a deep lack of respect from my family to her as well as myself, 

Has your GF met your parents? Is this the older co-workers you've been seeing for 2 months? Just distance yourself from family if you don't get along with them.