MIAho Posted July 12, 2022 Share Posted July 12, 2022 I recently had started talking to this woman I met. We exchanged phone numbers and she encouraged me to text her the following night, even though she was at a concert. Everything seemed fine. We talked about what we did that day and she sent me videos of the concert she was at. On her way home, she asked me if I was "available for a quick phone call" because she wanted to see "who I was via the phone" but I had fallen asleep on my sofa and missed her text. She also said to me that "texting didn't seem like something that I liked doing" which seemed a little strange. The next morning, I responded to her text by apologizing for falling asleep and missing her text and asked what she meant by that comment about not liking to text. Later that day, she explained that she sensed that I was "fading" from the conversation and she didn't hear back. She also claimed that I didn't say that much when we were texting and it seemed like I wasn't interested and if I was really interested in her, I wouldn't have fallen asleep, and I would've called her the next day instead of simply replying to her text. In all of the years that I've been dating, nobody has ever taken exception with the way I text. I've even been in long term relationships with women who sometimes gone hours without responding to text messages. I always see the purpose of the phone, whether that be calling or texting to set dates, not make small talk. I prefer to save my conversations for the dates. Personally, I see this as a difference of approach. I'm more used to dating women who only text and don't really say much other than to set dates, while she's more used to the more traditional approach of a guy calling her on the phone to converse. What did I do wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
norealusername Posted July 12, 2022 Share Posted July 12, 2022 She's the type who lives on her phone, probably glued to it day and night. If you date her, she'll be expecting the same behavior from you. This would turn me off right away. You just met her and she's already criticizing you about it. You didn't do anything wrong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted July 12, 2022 Share Posted July 12, 2022 consider that she was out in public, at a concert, probably with friends, and was taking time to text you during her night, and even contacted you trying to speak to you in a call, and you simply fell asleep (with no indication you were going to sleep, assumedly) how would you feel? though also, no, your communication style doesn't make you "wrong" but if you want to keep up with this girl you're probably going to have to try some adjustments. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted July 12, 2022 Share Posted July 12, 2022 1 hour ago, MIAho said: She also claimed that I didn't say that much when we were texting and it seemed like I wasn't interested and if I was really interested in her, I wouldn't have fallen asleep, and I would've called her the next day instead of simply replying to her text. I've stopped dating because of comments like this. I don't text just for the heck of it, unless I have something to say. I talk on the phone even less. I prefer to talk in person. I also work two jobs and most of the men I was talking to are retired, so they expected me to respond immediately and be available to talk on the phone all the time. Differences in communication preferences shouldn't be a deal breaker, but it often is. Perhaps text her if you are going to take a nap or be unavailable for a certain amount of time. Let her know you're interested, but perhaps the two of you have different mindsets about communication/texting and ask her about her preferences. If you can oblige, then do so. Otherwise, just be you and if you're compatible and interested in one another, you'll each do what you need to do to make it work. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 12, 2022 Share Posted July 12, 2022 2 hours ago, MIAho said: she explained that she sensed that I was "fading" from the conversation and she didn't hear back. She also claimed that I didn't say that much when we were texting and it seemed like I wasn't interested and if I was really interested in her, I wouldn't have fallen asleep, and I would've called her the next day instead of simply replying to her text. She's already exhausting and you haven't even met. 2 hours ago, MIAho said: What did I do wrong? Nothing. You two just probably aren't a match if she's already giving you grief and you have never met her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 12, 2022 Share Posted July 12, 2022 2 hours ago, MIAho said: I recently had started talking to this woman I met. We exchanged phone numbers and she encouraged me to text her the following night, even though she was at a concert. Have you met in person? Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 12, 2022 Share Posted July 12, 2022 I think she's being ridiculous, quite honestly. Texting is not dating, and texting is not a substitute for actual human interaction. The way you interact in real life is what matters and is what defines your relationship. Not the way you text. It sounds like you did nothing wrong, and she is putting way too much emphasis on texting. The way she is nitpicking and criticizing you for trivial things is kind of a red flag. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 13, 2022 Share Posted July 13, 2022 18 hours ago, MIAho said: Later that day, she explained that she sensed that I was "fading" from the conversation and she didn't hear back. She also claimed that I didn't say that much when we were texting and it seemed like I wasn't interested and if I was really interested in her, I wouldn't have fallen asleep, and I would've called her the next day instead of simply replying to her text. Lack of emotional maturity. You should drop that one and continue your search. If you were really interested in her you wouldn't have fallen asleep? How old is she? 15? That's cracker jack box psychology. A mature woman would never-EVER confront a man with his lack of attention during the communication phase. That's for insecure amateur. What you see is the tip of the iceburg. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 (edited) Dude this woman is horribly insecure. As soon as they throw in passive aggressive comments that’s time to run for the frickin hills. You don’t put up with that kinda crap. You owed her no further explanation. Block/delete. Dodged a bullet. Edited July 17, 2022 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MIAho Posted July 19, 2022 Author Share Posted July 19, 2022 (edited) On 7/17/2022 at 3:12 PM, smackie9 said: Dude this woman is horribly insecure. As soon as they throw in passive aggressive comments that’s time to run for the frickin hills. You don’t put up with that kinda crap. You owed her no further explanation. Block/delete. Dodged a bullet. I probably should've listened to you all because here's what happened after I made this post...(Apologies for the length, I just need to vent about this) The following day, she texted me and apologized for her comments and we ended up talking on the phone for about 3 hours. Over the next two days we spoke again for long periods of time and it seemed like we had some chemistry. During our last conversation we ended up talking about one of my hobbies, which is CrossFit and she wanted to know about the CrossFit gym that I went to. So after we had said Good Night to each other I received another text from her 10 minutes later in which she told me that she never wanted me to contact her again. She had found my CrossFit gym's Instagram page and found out that I had liked 3 images of women at my gym who were performing various CrossFit movements while wearing tight and revealing clothing and claimed that I was being lustful. When I tried to explain that I only like the pictures because the women were friends of mine who were hitting lifting PR's (Personal Record), she called me a "liar" and a "pig" and told me that she was blocking my number. I responded by telling her that she wouldn't be missed. The next day she again apologized for all of the names she called me and I replied by telling her that I wasn't sure why she kept rushing to judge me. That weekend, she texted me and admitted that she didn't think we were a good match and that she felt that we didn't have good chemistry. This all led to a bizarre phone conversation in which she outlined the reasons why she didn't think we were a good match. She claimed that she didn't find me physically attractive. She claimed that I was too different from most of the guys she dates. She didn't like that I didn't text her during the day and only contacted her in the evening. I did text her once during the day and she didn't respond to me until the evening. She said she didn't like the sound of my voice or my way of thinking.(I have a growth mindset and I constantly challenge and look to expand my way of thinking by reading self-help books and YouTube videos) She didn't like that I had a lot of female friends. She believes that men and women shouldn't be friends because it might lead to one lusting after the other or them cheating on their significant others. Even though I'm a little disappointed because a potential dating prospect didn't work out. I feel relieved that I didn't get more involved with her. I experienced more drama within a week of talking to her than I did in some of the long term relationships I've had and we never even went on a date. Edited July 19, 2022 by MIAho Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 Bullet dodged. Many, many bullets. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 so, you've actually blocked her now, or waiting for her to call again and give some crazy apology? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MIAho Posted July 19, 2022 Author Share Posted July 19, 2022 16 minutes ago, flitzanu said: so, you've actually blocked her now, or waiting for her to call again and give some crazy apology? Blocked and never coming back... Lesson Learned 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 3 hours ago, MIAho said: She had found my CrossFit gym's Instagram page and found out that I had liked 3 images of women at my gym who were performing various CrossFit movements while wearing tight and revealing clothing and claimed that I was being lustful., she called me a "liar" and a "pig" and told me that she was blocking my number. You didn't just dodge a bullet, you dodged a canon.💣 She seems a bit crazy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MIAho Posted July 19, 2022 Author Share Posted July 19, 2022 23 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: You didn't just dodge a bullet, you dodged a canon.💣 She seems a bit crazy. Just a bit crazy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 20, 2022 Share Posted July 20, 2022 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3C-6XGpLcg 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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