Lavender5 Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 My EX told me when we were dating at 10 months that he had been single so long and was sick of porn - he was thrilled to be in a relationship with me. He said he'd throw out his porn if it bothered me. I asked him "Do you want me looking at naked men with huge hard ons, fantasizing and masturbating to them?". He said NO! Funny how it was ok for him and not for me. His addiction to porn magazines interfered in our sex life. I think he sucked in bed because he played with himself too much. He also lied to me and told me he threw out all his porn because he "Didn't want to upset me or ever lose me". One night he forgot to hide his magazine in his bathroom, I saw it and didn't say anything. I asked him "Do you still have porn mags?". He said NO. He lied about it, was sneaky and yes I think it's cheating. Porn is fine for single guys but hey dudes, when you're in a committed relationship - give that crap up and be a man - take care of your woman and treat her with respect. Men bitch about how they all do it - and most of them on here bitching have been dumped - so it goes to show you - porn does ruin relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 I agree! Link to post Share on other sites
the corinthian Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 All that time he knew he was doing something that would hurt me if I found out, so he kept it from me. Where's the respect? Why couldn't he just tell me? I'm not sure what to feel, I'm so upset... I'm really hoping someone can offer an outside opinion. This might be the end of our relationship It is your boyfriend's right to look at pornographic imagery if he so wishes, and to masturbate to pornographic imagery if he so chooses. Unfortunately, it does not matter if you feel that such things "hurt" you; he does not have to stop. You are right, however, in that it was wrong of him to lie to you. I do believe he ought to have simply admitted that he does such things, and that he would not stop doing such things. It could be that he views the subjects of pornography and masturbation as a taboo, however, and therefore never discussed such things with you. Perhaps, when you confronted him, he became extremely embarrassed, and did not know how to address the situation. To me, his behavior and reactions are understandable. You need to decide whether or not this is important enough to end a relationship over. I do not think it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Even though she cannot tell him to stop because it is own choice.It is also his choice to choose weather to carry on hurting her.Which i think is a bit selfish really if he does.Men say porn means nothing!so why is it so difficult to stop? I think you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel and see if you can come up with something that makes you both happy.Why not do a porn vid together yourselfs that way your both happy Link to post Share on other sites
CaptHowdy Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 It is your boyfriend's right to look at pornographic imagery if he so wishes, and to masturbate to pornographic imagery if he so chooses. Unfortunately, it does not matter if you feel that such things "hurt" you; he does not have to stop. And it's my right to sleep with whomever I want. I'm not married, so hey, what the heck! Does that mean my man shouldn't have a problem with that, or expect me to respect his feelings on the matter? Hell no! It may be his right to look at porn, but it's also her right to choose not to be with a man who does while he's in a relationship, and especially with one who'll lie about it. Just as it would be my man's right not to stay in the relationship if I were sleeping with other people (hey, it works for people in open relationships.) Every relationship needs to establish their own boundaries and respect them. Otherwise they need to find different partners, imo. Cause what's right for one person isn't right for everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
makaze Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 It is your boyfriend's right to look at pornographic imagery if he so wishes, and to masturbate to pornographic imagery if he so chooses. Unfortunately, it does not matter if you feel that such things "hurt" you; he does not have to stop. You have a right to be hurt and upset just as much as he has a right to do look at porn. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 Very true and also if he cares in the slightest for her he will try to stop!Men say they dont need porn well prove it ! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts