Moved in with long distance partner. Should I move back home?

[Donnam1993]

I'm really just looking for some non-biased advice really.

I'm 28, he's 27. We met almost 3 years ago, and very quickly began dating, despite being long distance, and living 400 miles away. About a year later I made the decision to move in with him and his Mum. I left my job, and began a life at his. I currently have a job which I love, and I'm still living with him and his mum.

The issue is, my boyfriend has quite intense mood swings (never laid a finger on me). He never thinks he is in the wrong, which makes it really difficult when we have arguments. I'm just really lost right now because I feel like no matter what I do, I'm going to be unhappy. If I stay here, I miss my family like mad. I'm really close to my family and being so far apart is heart-breaking every day. But if I move back home, I'm going to miss my job, and him. 

I'm just so unhappy right now. We seem to be arguing every day right now. I love him, i really do. But sometimes it's too much. I'm unhappy with my living situation right now as well. I've tried my best to put money aside and move out with him, but there's always an excuse. To be honest I feel like my life has hit a stand still, and although I'm happy with my job, I feel like I'd be happier back home with my family. But how do you end a relationship, and also work a notice at work when you have no where else to live? I just don't know what to do. 

[ExpatInItaly]

6 hours ago, Donnam1993 said:

I feel like I'd be happier back home with my family.

From what you have written here, I agree. 

Your relationship isn't working. And yes, you might miss him in the short term. But in the long run, you will be freeing yourself up to meet a man who's a better match for you and doesn't leave you feeling miserable. I would contact your family and start making arrangements to return to them. 

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Donnam1993 said:

, my boyfriend has quite intense mood swings, I'm going to be unhappy. If I stay here, I miss my family like mad. 

Sorry this is happening. Yes, cut your losses and move back home. His true self is not good.

Be frank with your family that its not working out and you need to move back. Ask for their help and support.

 

Edited July 14, 2022 by Wiseman2

[ShyViolet]

You absolutely should end this relationship and move back home. It sounds like you think the only thing keeping you there is that you have a job you like.  That's not enough reason to stay in a terrible relationship.  You can always find another job you like.  You need to get out of this bad situation.

[justwhoiam]

On 7/14/2022 at 12:22 AM, Donnam1993 said:

I'm really just looking for some non-biased advice really.

I'm 28, he's 27. We met almost 3 years ago, and very quickly began dating, despite being long distance, and living 400 miles away. About a year later I made the decision to move in with him and his Mum. I left my job, and began a life at his. I currently have a job which I love, and I'm still living with him and his mum.

Does that mean you work and he doesn't? Or if you both have jobs, how come you're living with his mom? And how have you been living there for 3 years? Are you paying your part of bills? Rent? Not having such expenses bills and rent, you must have put away quite some money in 3 years. Why is the only option going back to your parents? Aren't you independent financially?

That said, are you sure he has mood swings? Or are his moods about things happening around him or things you do? And if he really does (for no reason), didn't you know that while you were dating and/or were LD? Those feelings are difficult to hide and usually it's apparent. And last, what happens during these mood swings? Are they affecting your decisions or your everyday life? Like for example you decide to go to a party and he cancels last second? Or? Please provide examples.