mortensorchid Posted July 13, 2022 Share Posted July 13, 2022 I have had some odd experiences with social networking and coworkers. Let me explain ... I had a job a few years ago working in a preschool, I friended a few of the coworkers there on Facebook and Instagram. One of them immediately ratted on me when I posted a photograph of one of the kids there. I didn't know that you should not do this, so I erased it. I also posted some things in verbage which might have been seen as questionable and she ratted on me for that as well. I blocked her over that. That job lasted six months, one day they never called me again, and that was that. I have had coworkers in the past like we all have - I have been working for many years now so some of them went back before there was such a thing as social networking. Those I found or they found me and we friended each other there. Other jobs? Once my time there came to an end, I sent friend requests to them and they ... Rejected them. Save for one that is. I'm not sure why. I don't believe in friending currant coworkers, only former ones so that they don't rat on you for questionable things like the above preschool example. Well, ok, there was one for sure I know didn't like me, others? I practiced polite indifference to them and they to me I guess. Has anyone else had experiences like this with coworkers and social networking? I have just learned to not friend them at all. They don't seem to reach out to me either on social networking so, it's what it is I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 13, 2022 Share Posted July 13, 2022 (edited) The friend who reported you for breaches of privacy of a child under your care did the right thing. If you can't see that your breach was a reportable issue, the problem is with you. Edited July 13, 2022 by basil67 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Brian1223 Posted July 13, 2022 Share Posted July 13, 2022 You seem to have had a lot of 'interesting' experiences. I agree with Basil. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 13, 2022 Share Posted July 13, 2022 Coworkers are NOT friends, do not share your personal life with them (at all). You need to keep the two areas compartmentalized. Coworkers are people you spend time with at work. Be professional and respectful, do not share any details of your personal life with them, nor should you socialize with them -- that includes social media on the computer. Friends are people that you hang out with -- do things with -- have to your home for dinner, etc. When I worked, If someone asked me about me weekend -- I had the same canned answer "Weekend was great, do you have an accounting question??" If necessary, I would follow up with "If you'll excuse me I have some billing and collections to do -- gotta keep the company rolling along" I never shared any details about my personal life or dating or weekend activities or vacation plans or anything. None of their business what I did or didn't do outside of work. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 14, 2022 Share Posted July 14, 2022 1 hour ago, mortensorchid said: Has anyone else had experiences like this with coworkers and social networking? I have just learned to not friend them at all. They don't seem to reach out to me either on social networking so, it's what it is I guess. While I haven't stayed in contact with any of my old workmate friends long term, my husband has some very dear friends who he's worked with over the years. Though it's not done through social networking - but face to face. We've both been to many non-work drinks, social events, BBQs and even weddings with current/past workmates over the years. And no matter where we worked, Friday night drinks with the work gang was a regular thing in our days pre-kids. Outside of actual friendship, finding that balance of being professional at work but also being friendly and engaging and staying in contact puts a person in good stead when it comes to finding new work with old workmates. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 14, 2022 Share Posted July 14, 2022 Check all your social media for settings where you can place people into groups, such as "friends", "family", "co-workers", etc. Filter your content and who can view what accordingly. Try to use LinkedIn predominantly for co-workers, alumni etc. Link to post Share on other sites
LeGenDary_Man Posted July 14, 2022 Share Posted July 14, 2022 11 hours ago, mortensorchid said: I have had some odd experiences with social networking and coworkers. Let me explain ... I had a job a few years ago working in a preschool, I friended a few of the coworkers there on Facebook and Instagram. One of them immediately ratted on me when I posted a photograph of one of the kids there. I didn't know that you should not do this, so I erased it. I also posted some things in verbage which might have been seen as questionable and she ratted on me for that as well. I blocked her over that. That job lasted six months, one day they never called me again, and that was that. I have had coworkers in the past like we all have - I have been working for many years now so some of them went back before there was such a thing as social networking. Those I found or they found me and we friended each other there. Other jobs? Once my time there came to an end, I sent friend requests to them and they ... Rejected them. Save for one that is. I'm not sure why. I don't believe in friending currant coworkers, only former ones so that they don't rat on you for questionable things like the above preschool example. Well, ok, there was one for sure I know didn't like me, others? I practiced polite indifference to them and they to me I guess. Has anyone else had experiences like this with coworkers and social networking? I have just learned to not friend them at all. They don't seem to reach out to me either on social networking so, it's what it is I guess. I think you are friendly but your co-workers do not see you in this light. Perhaps people around you are like this. I accepted friendship requests of some of my co-workers on Facebook. All are FORMER co-workers now. I am not very active on Facebook myself so my interactions with these people are limited. But I do not judge them for what they are doing. This is rude in my view. If I see a friend doing something wrong, I would prefer to talk to him/her about it and see how it goes. LinkedIn is more suitable for professional networking IMHO. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 15, 2022 Share Posted July 15, 2022 You seem to have a lot of trouble relating to coworkers and succeeding in jobs... I see this as a common theme in many of your posts 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted July 16, 2022 Author Share Posted July 16, 2022 It's just not a good idea to do so no matter if you are currently employed with them or formerly. I have learned that the hard way. And yes, this is a recurring theme with me for some reason. Why? I don't know, it just is. Everyone has their issues and this is one of them with me. I have learned to just be a blank slate, practice polite indifference to others. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 (edited) IME there are co-workers who are "safe" to be friends (or at least reasonably friendly) with and those who are not. Unfortunately appearances can be deceiving and they don't have labels on their heads saying "I'd throw you under the bus in a heartbeat for table scraps". Also circumstances change and there are those who will be genuinely good friends, but then when layoffs are looming start to see it as "you or me". So it's best to be quite cautious. Generally, I'm friendly with co-workers who seem to want to be friendly with me + am generally happy to e.g. banter a bit with those folks about what I did this weekend. A few I've gotten closer to and e.g. met outside work, but it's rare and generally there is a common interest. I guess overall when you become friends with a co-worker you "assume a level of risk". Generally their economic well-being is likely to take priority over "our friendship" (and that's particularly true if they feel their economic well-being is at risk). Edited July 16, 2022 by mark clemson 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 16, 2022 Share Posted July 16, 2022 On 7/14/2022 at 8:38 AM, mortensorchid said: One of them immediately ratted on me when I posted a photograph of one of the kids there. I didn't know that you should not do this, so I erased it. I really can't imagine that any reasonable person working in a preschool would take a photo of a kid at work and post it on FB without their guardian's consent, and not see anything potentially wrong with that??? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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