Coworker flirts with supervisor - feel like the only one who notices. Beginning to feel uncomfortable

[tiffanyblues]

So I started at my job around 6 months ago, and since then I've gotten along with everyone pretty well, and we're quite close. There's a male coworker who I like, and I'm unsure if he likes me or maybe I'm reading too far into things? I feel he often treats me differently and I'm unsure why. 

I got a new pair of shoes and he commented on them, again, no one else noticed that day. I sorted my closet and found a light coat I haven't worn in a long time, perfect for summer showers, and when I wore it he asked was it new I explained yes, technically new to others but not to me and just laughed it off. Again, no one else commented. And when I got a new pair of jeans it was the first thing new noticed which threw me off, and he said he liked them.
I have female coworkers who I'm very close friends with who have gone the whole day without noticing these things, or I'd have to say "oh, I got new jeans" and then they'd comment, so for him to repeatedly notice these things, unprompted, could it mean anything?

To start, I've noticed textbook signs, I've looked his way and noticed he was looking at me, and he quickly looks away. However, lately when this has happened he's held my gaze and he does this "gentleman's nod" with me, we go back and forth a few times (jokingly) and then he asks how I am. He doesn't do this with anyone else, that I've noticed anyway. He often throws pieces of paper onto my desk, and when I look at him he pretends he didn't do it.

Every morning when I get into work he says "good morning, First name Last name", someone noticed this and asked why, he just said "I can't say her first name without saying her last name too".
One day when I went into the office he pulled his chair up beside me with his arms behind his back, and gave me a kids toy him and his friends won, but he knew I liked the character and so he kept it all weekend to give to me.
Then there's other things, for a while we had a back and forth as something wound up on my desk that I didn't want there so I gave it to him and he kept finding ways to put it back on my desk, but not be obvious. If he talks to a coworker I sit beside, his feet and torso are entirely in my direction even when I'm not in the conversation. When I speak to him he leans in more.

Am I reading into this too much? Any advice?

[stillafool]

He  may just be a guy who likes fashion.  I love clothes and when I worked in an office the men would comment on my clothes more than the women.  Not that the women were jealous or anything but the men seemed to notice it more.  I've also had them greet me by name and do gentlemenly things like pull out my chair.  How I knew one actually wanted to go out with me that person approached me in private and asked could he take me out.  I think that is when you'll know he actually wants to get to know you better.  If you like him ask him out.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, tiffanyblues said:

I've noticed textbook signs, 

It's fine to have a work crush. He seems friendly, polite and professional.

He may not want messy office romances or issues like that. After all the workplace is not a singles club or dating app, it's where you get your paycheck.

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men you don't work with.

[glows]

19 hours ago, tiffanyblues said:

So I started at my job around 6 months ago, and since then I've gotten along with everyone pretty well, and we're quite close. There's a male coworker who I like, and I'm unsure if he likes me or maybe I'm reading too far into things? I feel he often treats me differently and I'm unsure why. 

I got a new pair of shoes and he commented on them, again, no one else noticed that day. I sorted my closet and found a light coat I haven't worn in a long time, perfect for summer showers, and when I wore it he asked was it new I explained yes, technically new to others but not to me and just laughed it off. Again, no one else commented. And when I got a new pair of jeans it was the first thing new noticed which threw me off, and he said he liked them.
I have female coworkers who I'm very close friends with who have gone the whole day without noticing these things, or I'd have to say "oh, I got new jeans" and then they'd comment, so for him to repeatedly notice these things, unprompted, could it mean anything?

To start, I've noticed textbook signs, I've looked his way and noticed he was looking at me, and he quickly looks away. However, lately when this has happened he's held my gaze and he does this "gentleman's nod" with me, we go back and forth a few times (jokingly) and then he asks how I am. He doesn't do this with anyone else, that I've noticed anyway. He often throws pieces of paper onto my desk, and when I look at him he pretends he didn't do it.

Every morning when I get into work he says "good morning, First name Last name", someone noticed this and asked why, he just said "I can't say her first name without saying her last name too".
One day when I went into the office he pulled his chair up beside me with his arms behind his back, and gave me a kids toy him and his friends won, but he knew I liked the character and so he kept it all weekend to give to me.
Then there's other things, for a while we had a back and forth as something wound up on my desk that I didn't want there so I gave it to him and he kept finding ways to put it back on my desk, but not be obvious. If he talks to a coworker I sit beside, his feet and torso are entirely in my direction even when I'm not in the conversation. When I speak to him he leans in more.

Am I reading into this too much? Any advice?

He is being over-friendly and his behaviour would seem unprofessional to me. I see why you may construe that he's interested in you romantically. All that matters is what you want out of your workplace. Do you want to complicate it with office romances or do you want to remain professional yourself and keep your private life separate? 

The issue is you and what you want. 

Edited July 6, 2022 by glows

[catchief]

As the title says, my coworker who I'm close friends with flirts with my supervisor and I feel like the only one who notices. I sit beside this coworker and sort of in between her and my supervisor. So I very often feel uncomfortable when I'm trying to do my work.

To muddy the waters a little bit, my supervisor is dating my boss, my coworker knows this, and my boss is often in the next room every day. It's an office environment.

My supervisor is technically my boss, and the "office" boss is who she should go to with any trouble or questions yet she always goes to my supervisor instead. When we're not in this office and working from somewhere else she calls him to ask questions and often things that aren't that important. When we were at that other office she asked me do I ever text him and I'm thinking ?? No? Why would I? Apparently he puts kisses at the end of his texts and "she doesn't know how to take it".

My coworker and I get along great, but when my supervisor is there she only ever wants to speak to him, she very shamelessly makes innuendos. There have been a lot of moments over the last few months, like at the end of the day he was giving her his plate to put in the dishwasher and she pretended to lick it, when it was supervisors birthday she gave him a card with her picture on it. One afternoon we were talking about phobias and she mentioned she had one of wrists/veins, and later that day, my supervisor said to her "don't make me get a certain body part out" which of course sounded more inappropriate. He's never like this with anyone else, and of course, she's never like this with anyone else. I sit between both of them and it makes me uncomfortable when I'm trying work and they're very obviously flirting in the workplace even when the person he's dating is in the next room. He's considerably older too.

What should I do? Is there anything I should do? Because I feel it's greatly affecting my work.

[glows]

To be clear, it doesn't sound like anyone is harassing you and your supervisor is not unprofessional towards you. It's him and your coworker who seem to have an inappropriate relationship or go back and forth with inappropriate dialogue during office hours. If she has an issue with his behaviour, you can tell her to take it to HR. 

I don't think this concerns you and if you dislike it ask to be moved to a different part of the office. I don't know how long you've been at this company but getting too involved in the office drama isn't a good idea. Stay in your own lane and try to figure out what you can do to focus better even if it means moving desks or being transferred to a different branch or location if that's an option.

[Wiseman2]

Can you go to your boss (the one your supervisor is dating) and discuss that too much personal chitchatting is distracting you and affecting your work.

Perhaps they can place you somewhere else. A different department or local or seating arrangement. As far as this co-worker, distance yourself from that as well. 

Edited July 15, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quote

[ASG]

Much like glows said, this is none of your business. It's not happening to you. The fact that it is happening around you may be uncomfortable, but there really is nothing to be done here. 

Maybe mention to your co worker that their banter makes you uncomfortable, and if she'd mind taking it elsewhere, or at least not involve you? Though I'm not 100% sure this will fix anything, as your coworker will, most likely, tell you to stay in your lane. 

But it does't hurt to try. 

You really shouldn't let this affect your work, as it is nothing to do with you... Unless you would like to have a relationship with your co worker and are a bit jealous of the flirting going on between her and the supervisor?