Gaeta Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 17 hours ago, Otter2569 said: The first 5 months were full steam ahead. Lots of fun and romance. Once she said the "L" word things began to change. She got hot and cold, then kind of backed off. She said she wanted more but was afraid. I found myself trying to convince her that I wanted more with her. I actually did but we never quite got it back. Her ILY was not sincere. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted July 19, 2022 Author Share Posted July 19, 2022 26 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Her ILY was not sincere. Sorry. I do believe it was sincere based on what we shared. My friends saw it, her family saw it, strangers saw it but at some point, things changed. She began distancing herself. I am usually a great judge of character and watch like a hawk especially when it comes to my heart. Maybe she fooled everyone including me?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted July 19, 2022 Author Share Posted July 19, 2022 16 hours ago, Goodguy05 said: Yes time to walk away. What's going on seems shes hot and cold and has problems with getting close to someone. It's not your role to teach her. I really think this is the root cause. It also sounds like the men in her life were not good. Even the deceased guy was destined for divorce court from what she says. She is also new to dating after 3 years on the sidelines so maybe right place wrong time? Who knows... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 1 hour ago, Otter2569 said: I do believe it was sincere based on what we shared. My friends saw it, her family saw it, strangers saw it but at some point, things changed. She began distancing herself. I am usually a great judge of character and watch like a hawk especially when it comes to my heart. Maybe she fooled everyone including me?! Love does not suddenly evaporate after 7 months. In-Lust, rebound, love-bombing do evaporate. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted July 19, 2022 Author Share Posted July 19, 2022 31 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Love does not suddenly evaporate after 7 months. In-Lust, rebound, love-bombing do evaporate. So true Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 4 hours ago, Otter2569 said: It also sounds like the men in her life were not good. This is the type you have to tiptoe through the tulips carefully with. Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 I'm kind of confused - is this a different woman than the one you posted about in March who was getting too clingy? Or the one who drinks too much? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted July 20, 2022 Author Share Posted July 20, 2022 23 hours ago, Allupinnit said: I'm kind of confused - is this a different woman than the one you posted about in March who was getting too clingy? Or the one who drinks too much? No. This was a completely different woman. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 20, 2022 Share Posted July 20, 2022 10 minutes ago, Otter2569 said: No. This was a completely different woman. So haven't been dating this woman exclusively? Does she know that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted July 20, 2022 Author Share Posted July 20, 2022 (edited) 22 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: So haven't been dating this woman exclusively? Does she know that? There was some overlap. The Drinker was on her way out by then. Was dating The Clinger simultaneously for a few weeks but ended that as the relationship developed with The Heartbreaker. Edited July 20, 2022 by Otter2569 punctuation Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 20, 2022 Share Posted July 20, 2022 But was this current woman aware that you were dating someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted July 20, 2022 Share Posted July 20, 2022 3 hours ago, Otter2569 said: There was some overlap. The Drinker was on her way out by then. Was dating The Clinger simultaneously for a few weeks but ended that as the relationship developed with The Heartbreaker. If you've been dating this woman for 7 months and you were posting about the clinger in March it would seem the overlap was a lot longer than a few weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 21, 2022 Share Posted July 21, 2022 1 hour ago, Allupinnit said: If you've been dating this woman for 7 months and you were posting about the clinger in March it would seem the overlap was a lot longer than a few weeks. I completely agree. She might have cut you off for that reason. Honestly, I would have done the same, but I'd put you in the friend-zone. No benefits. 😜 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted July 21, 2022 Author Share Posted July 21, 2022 5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: But was this current woman aware that you were dating someone else? Not at all Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted July 21, 2022 Author Share Posted July 21, 2022 2 hours ago, Allupinnit said: If you've been dating this woman for 7 months and you were posting about the clinger in March it would seem the overlap was a lot longer than a few weeks. would you like me to put a timeline together for you, Mr Exacto? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 21, 2022 Share Posted July 21, 2022 2 hours ago, Otter2569 said: Not at all This is what I was wondering. Anyway, it doesn't appear she is in any place to offer you more. So, best to let this all go and maybe sharpen your picker. It seems you are drawn to women who come with some sort of issue or drama. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 21, 2022 Share Posted July 21, 2022 8 hours ago, Otter2569 said: Not at all Musical beds is sort of like like those infomercials where in reality it looks a lot better than it really is. So before you buy into the next knife that cuts through cement, decide if you want the headaches that come with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted July 21, 2022 Author Share Posted July 21, 2022 5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: It seems you are drawn to women who come with some sort of issue or drama. Unfortunately people don't display their idiosyncrasies in their dating profile and it takes some time to know someone (usually ). In this case we had an immediate and sincere connection followed months of sharing, fun, laughter... It was deeper than most any previous relationship...until it wasn't. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 21, 2022 Share Posted July 21, 2022 4 minutes ago, Otter2569 said: Unfortunately people don't display their idiosyncrasies in their dating profile and it takes some time to know someone (usually ). . Of course. But you also seem to have trouble letting go once you discover the red flags and dysfunctional behaviour. You and this current woman have had problems for a while and you’ve been riding the merry-go-round too long. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted July 21, 2022 Share Posted July 21, 2022 11 hours ago, Otter2569 said: would you like me to put a timeline together for you, Mr Exacto? You already did. Do you tend to date more than one woman at once? I am not sure how "deep" and authentic you can really get with someone if they are unaware that you're sleeping with other people. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 21, 2022 Share Posted July 21, 2022 Divorced twice with the possibility of a 3rd is a big red flag. The common denominator is her not the guys she married. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted July 23, 2022 Author Share Posted July 23, 2022 On 7/21/2022 at 9:41 AM, Allupinnit said: You already did. Do you tend to date more than one woman at once? I am not sure how "deep" and authentic you can really get with someone if they are unaware that you're sleeping with other people. Dating the one other woman ended shortly after this relation began to gain strength. According to my unofficial timeline that was about 4 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted July 23, 2022 Author Share Posted July 23, 2022 On 7/21/2022 at 10:41 AM, smackie9 said: Divorced twice with the possibility of a 3rd is a big red flag. The common denominator is her not the guys she married. Totally agree. She was sweet and caring but that is one bad ass track record. From what she said these guys were no prizes either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted July 23, 2022 Author Share Posted July 23, 2022 (edited) On 7/21/2022 at 6:35 AM, ExpatInItaly said: Of course. But you also seem to have trouble letting go once you discover the red flags and dysfunctional behaviour. You and this current woman have had problems for a while and you’ve been riding the merry-go-round too long. Depends on the behavior: there is no second chance for rude, irresponsible people or substance abuse. This merry go round may have lasted 6 weeks but also had many great times mixed in thus making it harder to understand and jump off. She packaged her breaks as "wanting more" from our relationship as in more time, more family involvement. Marriage even came up towards the end, so it was confusing, at least for me it was - trying to demonstrate that I had similar desires. In the end I'd say I dodged another bullet. Edited July 23, 2022 by Otter2569 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 23, 2022 Share Posted July 23, 2022 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Otter2569 said: In the end I'd say I dodged another bullet. Well when you need a bullet proof vest to date some of these ladies, it may be time to rethink things.🦺 Edited July 23, 2022 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts