Sizen Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 Is it ok for your current girlfriend to remain friends with someone they messed around with 10 years ago? So this woman has a best friend she never dated or had a relationship with but they messed around apparently 10years ago. They go on vacations together and come back and say they never look at each other the same way since then so nothing goes on. When she meets with her she mentions it days later they met for lunch or a movie. And when she’s confronted she gets extremely defensive because she can’t believe no one believes her. Should she be trusted? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 There is no "should" in terms of trust...the only relevant opinion here is yours. Either you trust her or you don't. There's one thing to clarify though: you say they go on vacations together. Did they go on vacations previously because they were both single and were good company for the other? Or would she still go on vacations with him now that she's in a relationship with you? The former is reasonable but the latter is really screwed up. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 3 hours ago, Sizen said: So this woman has a best friend she never dated or had a relationship with but they messed around apparently 10years ago. They go on vacations together When she meets with her she mentions it days later they met for lunch or a movie. How long have you been dating? What exactly does she mean by "they messed around"? Do you think she's bisexual? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sizen Posted July 18, 2022 Author Share Posted July 18, 2022 11 hours ago, basil67 said: There is no "should" in terms of trust...the only relevant opinion here is yours. Either you trust her or you don't. There's one thing to clarify though: you say they go on vacations together. Did they go on vacations previously because they were both single and were good company for the other? Or would she still go on vacations with him now that she's in a relationship with you? The former is reasonable but the latter is really screwed up. They still go on vacations and meet up for movies, lunch and party together then she shares the information weeks later. And when asked she would say I never said anything because I don’t think it’s necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sizen Posted July 18, 2022 Author Share Posted July 18, 2022 9 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: How long have you been dating? What exactly does she mean by "they messed around"? Do you think she's bisexual? For 1year & half. What she said was they tried to have a sexual and emotional relationship but it didn’t work out. So they decided to be best friends. But when she explained that her previous exes didn’t like it because they were insecure made it look like there something more Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 44 minutes ago, Sizen said: They still go on vacations and meet up for movies, lunch and party together then she shares the information weeks later. And when asked she would say I never said anything because I don’t think it’s necessary. Unfortunately she seems to make you feel like a third wheel in their relationship (whatever it is now) Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 (edited) 5 hours ago, Sizen said: They still go on vacations and meet up for movies, lunch and party together then she shares the information weeks later. And when asked she would say I never said anything because I don’t think it’s necessary. Given that this isn't a new relationship you have with her, I wouldn't be OK with this. When I ask my partner "how was your week/day?" I expect openness in response. "went to lunch with workmates" "project is frustrating" "played a great round of golf and had lunch with the boys afterwards". You're not getting any of this. That said, I do wonder how you don't know that she's going on vacations and partying with him until after the fact. Is this a long distance thing and you only speak sporadically? Not that it excuses her secrecy, but it does seem like you're barely partners if you aren't aware that she's going to events. Why aren't you also going with them? All in all though, my advice is to end it. Edited July 18, 2022 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 20, 2022 Share Posted July 20, 2022 If you don't like their dynamic, and you feel uncomfortable with it, find another GF. You can't change this, but you can walk away from it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts