What do I want

[Mysterio]

I am a 51 yr old Black Canadian Man.  I love my rock and roll bands and I go to a lot of concerts.  I have my own Condo, no kids and have never been married.  I want to state what I want out of a romantic relationship and see what you all think.

I want to be with a woman where we can have interesting conversations and laughs.  We do some social and recreational activities and there is lots of physical affection between us.  Which is basically hugs/kisses/making out and making love.  If we are still together after 2-3 yrs.  Living together could be an option.  I don’t feel I need to be married or have kids.  

So based on that.  How should I market myself.  Am I wanting to be married in the traditional way or I want a Girl Friend or should I just do a FWB.  Which to me does not appeal to me.  I am a straight shooter.  I don’t want to do threesomes or drugs/drinking. 

I have reached the point where I feel lucky that I don’t have kids or have been Divorced.  Yet I still feel like I am missing out.  I have a lot of friends and good family around me.  I still for some reason think about LTR and I don’t know how to shut it down in myself.  

[Wiseman2]

18 minutes ago, Mysterio said:

How should I market myself.

Highlight your positive qualities such as clean living, homeowner, honesty, etc. If you state you want FWB/casual or pigeonhole yourself, many will pass you by. It's better to not map out a future before you even meet someone. Be neutral say "looking for LTR". 

[Happy Lemming]

11 hours ago, Mysterio said:

I want to be with a woman where we can have interesting conversations and laughs.  We do some social and recreational activities and there is lots of physical affection between us.  Which is basically hugs/kisses/making out and making love.  If we are still together after 2-3 yrs.  Living together could be an option.

 

What you are describing here is a "girlfriend", not an FWB relationship.

11 hours ago, Mysterio said:

 How should I market myself.

I think it is more how you present yourself to others. 

Since you live in a condo, I'm going to assume you are not in some rural farming community, but more of an urban setting.  Are there any local bars/pubs in your neighborhood??  Evening activity areas (in your neighborhood)??  Can you tell me more about the night life in your neighborhood/community??

[glows]

19 hours ago, Mysterio said:

I am a 51 yr old Black Canadian Man.  I love my rock and roll bands and I go to a lot of concerts.  I have my own Condo, no kids and have never been married.  I want to state what I want out of a romantic relationship and see what you all think.

I want to be with a woman where we can have interesting conversations and laughs.  We do some social and recreational activities and there is lots of physical affection between us.  Which is basically hugs/kisses/making out and making love.  If we are still together after 2-3 yrs.  Living together could be an option.  I don’t feel I need to be married or have kids.  

So based on that.  How should I market myself.  Am I wanting to be married in the traditional way or I want a Girl Friend or should I just do a FWB.  Which to me does not appeal to me.  I am a straight shooter.  I don’t want to do threesomes or drugs/drinking. 

I have reached the point where I feel lucky that I don’t have kids or have been Divorced.  Yet I still feel like I am missing out.  I have a lot of friends and good family around me.  I still for some reason think about LTR and I don’t know how to shut it down in myself.  

You're looking to date. Leave it at that. If it develops into something more, cross that bridge when it comes. Some people market themselves, I suppose you could say, as "looking to date and open to more with the right person". There is no need to shut down anything and wanting a LTR is very natural in most people (also perfectly ok not to want or desire that in other cases). I might also add that a long term relationship doesn't have to lead to marriage.

Reading what you wrote about yourself, you're not expected to know right off the bat this instant if you want to marry someone. I think it's better that you take your time and date first, meet someone who's compatible and then consider marriage (or not, as the other person may not be open to it with anyone). The important part is you find someone you trust or rely on or can enjoy company with. Let everything else speak for itself and fall into place later on.

The "missing out" part is something you may have to work out on your own and figure out. I don't quite understand what you mean by that. Where is that coming from? Past regrets or the 'one that got away' unresolved issues? I think it's normal to have some regrets or to look back and realize periods of growth. Feeling wistful now and then is all part of living and we learn and move forward, doing things differently and trying new things.

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

 Are there any local bars/pubs in your neighborhood?

He doesn't drink. In fact that's an asset.  Don't market yourself, just be yourself. Focus on the positives such as clean living. 

[Happy Lemming]

6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

He doesn't drink.

You can get a soft drink at a bar/pub. 

On more than one occasion, I have been the designated driver for a group of friends. The bartenders gave me my "diet coke" for FREE!!

I'd still like to hear more about the night life in his area and see if there is a way to get the OP out and about on the weekends.  In another thread, I asked if he had any hobbies, sports or interests?? 

The OP needs to put himself out in public (in front of available women), they aren't going to come knock on the door of his condo.

[ZA Dater]

For what its worth my view is you need to try present yourself in the most positive way you can and try not let that feeling of "missing out" appear. Focus on what is good about yourself and make sure you are reasonably happy with the rest of your life because if you are not this negativity may be a subtle negative.