Princess_Cyra Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 Hi ☺️ I recently split from my boyfriend a month and a half ago. I've known him for three years and we dated for one. Our relationship ended because he cheated. I decided to go no contact to heal and I think I'm in the acceptance phase of the break-up now. I have this strange feeling, I'm not exactly sad or angry anymore and I can see myself moving on from him but has anyone experienced a type of empty calmness during this phase of a break up? I can't exactly put it into words. I thought that he would be the person I'd grow older with and I did love him deeply. During the first month of our break up I felt numb so this feeling of calm is frightening me. Has anyone experienced this type of feeling especially if the person cheated? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 1 hour ago, Princess_Cyra said: I thought that he would be the person I'd grow older with and I did love him deeply. During the first month of our break up I felt numb so this feeling of calm is frightening me. I'm so sorry to hear about his cheating but not sorry that it's only three years and not thirty, a marriage, house and kids later. Calm may be replaced by tears as loss settles in later and missing the person. There are several stages of letting go. I suggest you keep doing what you're doing, distancing yourself and not having any contact, and surround yourself with loved ones. Take care of yourself also and pamper yourself, find productive ways to use your time. There's a lot of free time after a break up or the end of a relationship. A lot of people fall into bad habits, addictions or try to replace that sense of loss by using rebounds or dating again quickly. Give yourself a bit more time to regain your sense of self and become comfortable with your free time and develop new routines. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 2 hours ago, Princess_Cyra said: I have this strange feeling, I'm not exactly sad or angry anymore and I can see myself moving on from him but has anyone experienced a type of empty calmness during this phase of a break up? Sorry this happened. It seems as though you are realizing you dodged a bullet and therefore have peace of mind that he's gone. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 20, 2022 Share Posted July 20, 2022 15 hours ago, Princess_Cyra said: this feeling of calm is frightening me. What's scaring you about it? Link to post Share on other sites
letotron454 Posted July 21, 2022 Share Posted July 21, 2022 On 7/19/2022 at 10:21 AM, Princess_Cyra said: Hi ☺️ I recently split from my boyfriend a month and a half ago. I've known him for three years and we dated for one. Our relationship ended because he cheated. I decided to go no contact to heal and I think I'm in the acceptance phase of the break-up now. I have this strange feeling, I'm not exactly sad or angry anymore and I can see myself moving on from him but has anyone experienced a type of empty calmness during this phase of a break up? I can't exactly put it into words. I thought that he would be the person I'd grow older with and I did love him deeply. During the first month of our break up I felt numb so this feeling of calm is frightening me. Has anyone experienced this type of feeling especially if the person cheated? First, I am sorry that you are having to go through this at all. I know how painful the whole process can be. The feeling you're describing I'm sure is different for everyone but my experience was like this. My ex wife cheated on me twice during the course of our marriage. The final time I was angry initially but a couple of months after the divorce I woke up one morning not really that upset about it. Sure, I felt a sense of sorrow that we weren't able to properly communicate with each other but overall, I just wanted to move on with life. To me, it sounds like you are healing. There will be times when the journey will feel lonely or frightening but it's all part of the trip to defining your new life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 21, 2022 Share Posted July 21, 2022 (edited) On 7/19/2022 at 8:21 AM, Princess_Cyra said: I can't exactly put it into words. I thought that he would be the person I'd grow older with and I did love him deeply. During the first month of our break up I felt numb so this feeling of calm is frightening me. Sorry this happened. Yes. I think it was my body's way of keeping my brain from becoming overwhelmed. In a way, it's like your body pressing the emotional pause button. It was like having the entire castle that you just built collapse right before your eyes as you stood there with frozen feet and blank eyes, staring at it as it came tumbling down into the sea in front of your very eyes. Losing a loved one can sometimes create such intense pain and trauma that the person feels numb and lost for a while. The good news is that the more open you are to accepting what happened, the more you help yourself to overcome the pain and suffering and allow yourself to move forward, rather than focusing on the reasons behind it. Edited July 21, 2022 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 21, 2022 Share Posted July 21, 2022 On 7/19/2022 at 11:21 AM, Princess_Cyra said: has anyone experienced a type of empty calmness . I felt very calm after the doctor removed a small skin cancer from my arm. All the trepidation was beforehand. That's what this is. You made the right choice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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