'If things don't work out, we can'

[Logo]

What does it mean if on the first date, in the first few minutes, a woman says, "If things don't work out between us, I'd be more than happy to take a _____ class with you"?

We were talking about some hobbies and she said she enjoys the same.

My question is, why even pose it as a conditional situation like that? Does that mean she already had doubts? I realize that people are trying to stay realistic, even if they like the other person, or are attracted to them, but it has happened with two women in the last couple of months. I don't understand why they phrase it like that.

[Ami1uwant]

Was this in a profile or did it happen in person?

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Logo said:

in the first few minutes, a woman says, "If things don't work out between us, I'd be more than happy to take a _____ class with you"?

Seems like a variation of "maybe we can be friends"

[Logo]

The first was in a message after we started chatting online. She love-bombed me and when I suggested we meet, she disappeared for a couple of days, only to come back and agree to meet. Except, she wanted to meet on a weekday, said her weekend is full or busy. 
 

The second one, love-bombed me too. But she said “if we don’t work out…..” in person, about 20 minutes into a date.
 

But the date went well into the evening, with her seemingly following my lead and enjoying the conversation for 5 hours. 
 

But when it didn’t work out, or more like, I realized that she wasn’t who I thought she was, after the second date, I realized she was love-bombing me like the woman in the first example. Both had busy weekends, and preferred to meet on a weekday. Maybe it’s a coincidence. 
 

More importantly, they both came on very strong, and faded away very quickly. 
 

Are these the behaviors of multi-daters? They hook you in, charm you, while they date 7 men per week and then move on?

I would still like to figure out the “if we don’t work out” nonsense though. Two don’t a pattern make, but I would still like to know what their possible intentions were.

 

 

[Goodguy05]

7 hours ago, Logo said:

The first was in a message after we started chatting online. She love-bombed me and when I suggested we meet, she disappeared for a couple of days, only to come back and agree to meet. Except, she wanted to meet on a weekday, said her weekend is full or busy. 
 

The second one, love-bombed me too. But she said “if we don’t work out…..” in person, about 20 minutes into a date.
 

But the date went well into the evening, with her seemingly following my lead and enjoying the conversation for 5 hours. 
 

But when it didn’t work out, or more like, I realized that she wasn’t who I thought she was, after the second date, I realized she was love-bombing me like the woman in the first example. Both had busy weekends, and preferred to meet on a weekday. Maybe it’s a coincidence. 
 

More importantly, they both came on very strong, and faded away very quickly. 
 

Are these the behaviors of multi-daters? They hook you in, charm you, while they date 7 men per week and then move on?

I would still like to figure out the “if we don’t work out” nonsense though. Two don’t a pattern make, but I would still like to know what their possible intentions were.

 

 

Could mean any number of things. I wouldn't read into it too much. My take on it is in case you reject her it's a soft landing for her as she's already stated if it doesn't work out. But who knows.  

Edited July 20, 2022 by Goodguy05

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, Logo said:

I would still like to figure out the “if we don’t work out” nonsense though. 

It's a roundabout way of saying they're not interested.  Hopefully you are meeting in a timely fashion after the first couple of messages. 

Of course you are both still talking to and meeting others, so lay back a bit and don't get this overinvested.

Have a cohesive plan. Exchange a couple of messages. Suggest a mutually convenient time for a coffee/drink.

If the meeting goes well, ask for a second date. If they give you any sort of friendzone speech, just say "nice meeting you" and walk away with dignity. Then delete and block all dead weight and timewasters.