Great first date, messaging, but no second date set up?

[dnd_girl]

Hey all, 

 

I'm getting back into dating after the break-up of a LTR. Been on a couple of first dates which were enjoyable, but I wasn't interested in taking things further.

The third first date I went on was really nice. During the date the guy made a couple of comments about stuff we could do (We'll have to try this type of food kind of thing). The evening flew by, he text before I had got home, just sending stuff about some music we'd talked about, he didn't say he'd had a good time (although it seemed clear he had, as he'd suggested staying for food, another drink etc etc).

He text throughout the next day - what he'd been up to, asking what I was up to, but no mention of a second date.

I'm not old fashioned, but having dated a lot, I generally won't ask guys, not because I'm super traditional, but mainly because I've noticed that if guys are interested they tend to be very forward in getting dates in the diary.

Is this kind of weird that he's made the effort to chat but not set up something else? Am I being back burnered as he multi dates? I would quite like a second date, but don't really want to ask. What would you do?

 

Edited July 24, 2022 by i_have_questions

[Wiseman2]

11 minutes ago, i_have_questions said:

Is this kind of weird that he's made the effort to chat but not set up something else? Am I being back burnered as he multi dates?

He seems interested. It's possible he is taking to and meeting others.

Scale back on the texting. Texting is not dating, so if he wants to talk to you he'll have step up and set up a date.

Try not to be too passive and just go along with  nonsense texting. Rather than just mindless texts, you could suggest something. It may be better to take control of your dating life. If he's hemming and hawing, or "busy" you can move forward without wondering.

Edited July 24, 2022 by Wiseman2

[dnd_girl]

Thank you Wiseman2

See part of me is like "don't be so passive" to myself, and the other part is like...he would have asked me if he wanted to see me again. In any case, I haven't heard from him today, which is the first time in a few days he hasn't texted, so it may just peter out...

 

[glows]

I’m sure he’d reach out if he’s interested. Is he new out of a relationship? Those who give out mixed signals or don’t follow through usually look like this or are new/rusty, back in it after a long time. I’m speaking about the sweeping statements and propositions to do certain things in person, future date ideas, trying for a text relationship (too much too soon via texting) and not asking you out again. 

Remember that you’re dating to see what the other person is and how consistent they are. If it doesn’t float your boat, move on. You don’t have to wait a second longer.

[dnd_girl]

Thank you - this sounds like excellent information/advice.

From what I understood, he was dating a lot, but took a step back because he was having a lot of dates that went nowhere (well yeah, if you're texting instead of meeting ha ha!)

But I said I enjoyed the evening in a text after our date, and he said something about how the time flew by, but it didn't feel like a super committal answer. I basically set him up to say "let's do it again", and he didn't.

I am not really into texting too much before meeting, and he was doing that quite a bit. Feels weird to me, like...let's meet before spending all this time on a text relationship.

[Wiseman2]

11 minutes ago, i_have_questions said:

I basically set him up to say "let's do it again", and he didn't.

I am not really into texting too much before meeting, and he was doing that quite a bit. Feels weird to me, like...let's meet before spending all this time on a text relationship.

Exactly. Suggest meeting for a coffee/drink in a timely manner. Anyone who just texts and won't meet within a few messages is a time waster. "set him up to" doesn't really work either. It waiting, not dating.

[Maldives]

19 hours ago, i_have_questions said:

Hey all, 

 

I'm getting back into dating after the break-up of a LTR. Been on a couple of first dates which were enjoyable, but I wasn't interested in taking things further.

The third first date I went on was really nice. During the date the guy made a couple of comments about stuff we could do (We'll have to try this type of food kind of thing). The evening flew by, he text before I had got home, just sending stuff about some music we'd talked about, he didn't say he'd had a good time (although it seemed clear he had, as he'd suggested staying for food, another drink etc etc).

He text throughout the next day - what he'd been up to, asking what I was up to, but no mention of a second date.

I'm not old fashioned, but having dated a lot, I generally won't ask guys, not because I'm super traditional, but mainly because I've noticed that if guys are interested they tend to be very forward in getting dates in the diary.

Is this kind of weird that he's made the effort to chat but not set up something else? Am I being back burnered as he multi dates? I would quite like a second date, but don't really want to ask. What would you do?

 

He's interested for sure. He may be fishing to see if you are. I would say he's got some reservations wether your interested in him. So maybe either be a lil more revealing in your interest or ask him on a date