Men - do you like being asked on dates? Women, do you ask guys out?

[dnd_girl]

Ok, so I know everyone is different, but I'm interested in hearing people's thoughts!

My experience in dating has generally been that if a guy is interested, he will ask me out, and if he doesn't it's because he isn't interested.

Men - does this seem largely true to you? And how do you feel about being asked out by women?

And women - do you ask guys out, or wait to be asked?

[glows]

It doesn’t matter. You get to an age where you mingle with likeminded people who are similar - think ahead, go getters, pleasant, considerate and open. Whether it’s either who comes up with the idea first doesn’t make a difference. 

[Wiseman2]

38 minutes ago, i_have_questions said:

My experience in dating has generally been that if a guy is interested, he will ask me out, and if he doesn't it's because he isn't interested.

That's true. However after a successful first date, it's fine to politely reciprocate.

[Weezy1973]

42 minutes ago, i_have_questions said:

Men - does this seem largely true to you? And how do you feel about being asked out by women?

And women - do you ask guys out, or wait to be asked?

I’m assuming you mean asking someone out for the first time. Not a second or third date etc. 

I’m married now, but back in my dating days women didn’t really ask me out overtly. They just kind of made it clear if they were interested through flirting etc. Then it was up to me to ask them out if I was. It wouldn’t have bothered me to be asked out. 

[dnd_girl]

Just now, Weezy1973 said:

I’m assuming you mean asking someone out for the first time. Not a second or third date etc. 

I’m married now, but back in my dating days women didn’t really ask me out overtly. They just kind of made it clear if they were interested through flirting etc. Then it was up to me to ask them out if I was. It wouldn’t have bothered me to be asked out. 

I mean any early dates - first, second, up to third I guess

[Weezy1973]

13 minutes ago, i_have_questions said:

I mean any early dates - first, second, up to third I guess

I don’t think there’s a problem with it. Put it this way, if a guy is interested he will like it that you asked him out. If he’s not interested he’ll say no, but not because you asked him. Because he isn’t interested. It’s actually a great way of figuring out if someone is interested or not. I always advocate for asking someone out if you’re interested in them. Worst thing that can happen is they say no, and then you know and can move on. People ruminate and build things up so much on their heads which just wastes a lot of time and emotional energy. 

[Ami1uwant]

1 hour ago, i_have_questions said:

Ok, so I know everyone is different, but I'm interested in hearing people's thoughts!

My experience in dating has generally been that if a guy is interested, he will ask me out, and if he doesn't it's because he isn't interested.

Men - does this seem largely true to you? And how do you feel about being asked out by women?

And women - do you ask guys out, or wait to be asked?

not true…..im a guy.  If I just meet someone at the supermarket. we talked. I am not asking them out on a date just because we talked. I’ll look for another meeting at the supermarket again and see how conversation goes.

 

there have Been times in my life when it appears there is something more there or convo really flows,then I’d ask her out.  if I was at a place I’d doubt I’d see her again, thrn I’d ask her fir a number.

 

i have no problem being asked out by her.

in my life when I’ve gotten to know a woman and it seems like we have a good conversation.  I wonder if it’s us or is it her personality.  In a place I probably will run into her again I might wait and see if it’s just her.  I have trouble reading interest level in a situation where it’s not just me and her but others.

 

 

[smackie9]

I asked guys out in my dating days (over 30 years ago) and I got a yes every time. No one took advantage of me, and no one thought a was easy. I liked it, and so did they...they thought it was refreshing. It's not for everyone tho. Some people are more traditional and that's ok too.

[poppyfields]

2 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

If he’s not interested he’ll say no, but not because you asked him. Because he isn’t interested. It’s actually a great way of figuring out if someone is interested or not.

Bolded, not always.  He may say yes, figuring it's easy, he may get sex and doesn't have to make much effort. This can and does happen. 

Same way some women will say yes when not interested to be taken out, get a free meal, validation, whatever. 

Women send signals typically.  A window.  Flirt. Hint.  Most women are not direct the way men are.  

As such, most men know when a woman is interested, and if HE is interested, he will make the effort. 

OP, what's going on?  Is there a guy you like you want to ask out? 

Every sitch is different and context matters. 

Edited July 24, 2022 by poppyfields

[Weezy1973]

45 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Bolded, not always.  He may say yes, figuring it's easy, he may get sex and doesn't have to make much effort. This can and does happen. 

This is true. He’s interested, but could be just sex he’s interested in. 

 

46 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Women send signals typically.  A window.  Flirt. Hint.  Most women are not direct the way men are.  

As such, most men know when a woman is interested, and if HE is interested, he will make the effort. 

This was exactly my experience. That being said online dating being the norm now is a bit of a different dynamic. After the first meet / date there’s often a lot of ambiguity. You see here a lot people getting very caught up with someone if they were attracted on the first date or if they though the date went well. Just asking someone out again is often the easiest way to get clarity. You won’t necessarily know if he’s only interested in sex, but you’d find that out soon enough. 

[smackie9]

All men are interested in sex and yes some just want sex, that's pretty normal. We as women have control over if they get sex or not, that's our advantage. A dude can be a perfect gentleman ask you out, but suggest to go to his place at the end of the date, or start pawing at you at the table so it doesn't matter...it's always a crap shoot on the kind of guy he is or his intentions. My experience the ones that just wanted sex were the ones that asked me out.

OP you can try making suggestions, like wanting to go see a particular movie, or interested in taking walks at a certain part of the city, etc. That would leave him an easier opportunity to ask you out, or if the conversation can lead you into asking him if he would like to join you. I know not all guys have the confidence in themselves to ask someone out even if they are really interested...there are plenty of threads posted by guys asking us what to do, and if they lady is interested etc. Some are just all thumbs about it.

[poppyfields]

26 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

I know not all guys have the confidence in themselves to ask someone out even if they are really interested...

^This is true.  OP it depends on the type of man you want.

Me?

I'm attracted to secure confident, men, men who lead and enjoy leading. 

Having to ask a man out because I sense he lacks confidence does nothing for me, it does not attract me so I never did.  

But some women like @smackie and other women I know have no problem with it. 

You do YOU.

There is no 'one size fits all' or right or wrong way to go about it, imho. 

 

Edited July 24, 2022 by poppyfields

[Lotsgoingon]

Yes, your general point is true: if a guy is interested, he'll ask you out. 

.... Except ... when the guy really thinks the woman is hot and a catch ... and can't really believe she'll say yes to him or that she's single. Some really shy guys might not ask out a woman they really like. 

I hesitated to ask out a woman who was a star in a certain hobby community. I wasn't interested her hobby at all. I met her briefly at a different hobby community gathering. I just figured she wanted someone who was part of the community where she was a star.

I did get around to asking her out, and turned out, of course, that she was sick of dating people inside her particular hobby community. 

 

 

 

[basil67]

Back in my dating days, I was also the kind of woman who'd ask a guy out.  I would initiate first sex without subtlety.  Honestly, I could scare a timid man.  I see my approach as simply being myself  - and being myself helps to find the type of man who doesn't scare easy. 

[Maldives]

18 hours ago, i_have_questions said:

Ok, so I know everyone is different, but I'm interested in hearing people's thoughts!

My experience in dating has generally been that if a guy is interested, he will ask me out, and if he doesn't it's because he isn't interested.

Men - does this seem largely true to you? And how do you feel about being asked out by women?

And women - do you ask guys out, or wait to be asked?

You bet I do. I wish it would happen more often. I don't mind initiating but I wish in my pool of dating so far that the woman would be a little bit more forthcoming rather than just sitting there. Waiting for me to ask again. It just shows disinterest and I start to Think maybe she's not interested.