Loyal_Guy Posted July 24, 2022 Share Posted July 24, 2022 (edited) We have been together for 9 years married for 6. We both are from broken marriages with three kids. We added two of our own, five kids in total. I love her deeply. She took on my two kids from my previous marriage and raising them as her own, giving them nothing but love guidance and support. I always thought our marriage was on solid foundation, financially secured, I always support her dreams even though she doesn’t work full time, sex is good as far as I can tell with occasionally mentioning we should try something different coming from her. A few weeks ago I surprised her with a ticket to Europe with my step son. I took on the full parental responsibilities while she’s gone for three weeks. She’d send me pictures and places she’s been at, nothing but joy to watch her happy. After coming back from Europe I noticed something unusual. She was very protective of her phone, she’d go to the bathroom a lot more and tried to be extremely nice to me. I noticed her phone background picture changed from our family photo to some random sunset picture. My intuition started screaming louder and louder. One night I got hold of her phone. To my absolute shock horror I saw kisses and selfies sent from some guy she met in Paris. I could not hold it until the next morning so I woke her up and confronted her. She first tried to deny it but then said it was some guy she met on Facebook. After a bit more probing she told me the whole thing. She met this guy at a bar in Paris, conversation started like normal. After talking to him for a few hours they exchanged numbers which she now said she regrets. Many more WhatsApp messages later conversation got deeper and somewhat sexual. He told her he is developing a strong feelings for her and things he’d to to her. She said she couldn’t resist the conversation and liked being perused and constant complements and praises she got from the guy. She swore nothing sexual happed, not even a kiss. Before discovering the affair she begged me to send her on another solo trip to Greece which she now admitted was to spend time with the guy. As you can imagine I am crushed and devastated by this news. Never in a million years I thought she’d do this to me knowing well that my previous marriage ended because of my ex cheating on me. A couple of days ago my wife tried to end her life with overdose. We spent two days in hospital helping her recover. We are here. I am sorry for the long story but my heart is aching and I am so confused and deeply hurt by what this could mean to my little ones. Please help me to heal from this. I am an honest loyal guy who enjoy family life. It feels like my fate being cheated on. What do I do. How can I even build trust a relationship after this? Edited July 24, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 24, 2022 Share Posted July 24, 2022 I'm so sorry you are going through this. Betrayal and cheating is so painful. If you are willing to forgive her and you both want to work this out try going to marriage counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loyal_Guy Posted July 24, 2022 Author Share Posted July 24, 2022 (edited) Thank you Still for your kind words. Edited July 24, 2022 by Loyal_Guy Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 24, 2022 Share Posted July 24, 2022 4 hours ago, Loyal_Guy said: A couple of days ago my wife tried to end her life with overdose. We spent two days in hospital helping her recover. Sorry this is happening. First and foremost she needs appropriate follow up care from psychiatrists, therapists and her physicians. Once she recovers and is in individual therapy, you can discuss her infidelity with the help of a trained marriage therapist. Suicidal mood disorders is not a DIY situation, so table that discussion for a safer place at another time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Myabee Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 On 7/24/2022 at 9:57 AM, Loyal_Guy said: couple of days ago my wife tried to end her life with overdose. We spent two days in hospital helping her recover. Oh boy. I'm sorry to read this. I think therapy immediately is very important here. My best to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Will am I Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 Summarized to a few short lines: 1. she fell in love outside the marriage. 2. she feels very bad and strongly conflicted about it. 3. it’s not clear whether she ever went to Greece; if she didn’t than probably not a lot happened beyond an emotional affair. 4. she’s NOT emotionally stable. Let’s put number 4 at the center. I don’t know about the age of your children but taking care of 5 is a heavy burdain. Compound families are extra hard, and the mention that she takes care of stepchildren as if they were her own tells me that she’s not setying boundaries. If the youngest one is still little, hormones could also be a thing. These are all stress factors which could aggravate underlying psychological conditions. If she’s able to get herself sorted out psychologically and you are able to forgive, I think you can still have a beautiful future together. Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted August 11, 2022 Share Posted August 11, 2022 I'm so sorry to hear of the chaos surrounding you and your wife at the moment. I hope you both can get to the root of her dissatisfaction in the marriage and why she made the poor choices that she did. I imagine it was so painful to see those texts. I honestly don't believe nothing physical happened with her and her AP. We're all adults and know what happens between people in an affair. Were you going to be the one to pay for her ticket to see the other guy? If so, that's pretty egregious, and I doubt she'd be traveling that far again for a pen pal. Was her overdose the first time she'd shown suicidal tendencies? Was it a result of her getting caught? Link to post Share on other sites
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