Got ghosted after trying to figure out where I stand, I didn't react in a good way.

July 25, 2022

Hello, so this girl and I have been friends for 10 years (we’re both 24) and we’ve been friends with benefits for the past 2 years (on and off). Recently we’ve been in a good part of our “friends with benefitship?” I guess you’d call it, and she brought up to me for the first time how she would eventually want to be in a relationship with me, telling me to let her know if anything she does bothers me, and that she wants to respect my boundaries, etc. I agreed that I would want to be exclusive as well.

Two days after that talk, she invited me to an event with her family, it went very well and she was very affectionate towards me, even in front of her family and I was affectionate back. We then stayed the night at her place. The next day she worked all day and we didn’t talk, but later that evening, she called me and asked how my day was and that was it, typically she’d stay on the phone for a while at night, roughly an hour at least. We got off the phone after 2-3 minutes, it was 9pm and usually we go to bed around 1am, so I got insecure about that, (why did she hang up so early? Is she talking to another guy? Etc) and so I called her back asking if we were exclusively hooking up (I know, I messed up there, I was looking for reassurance) and she basically said no and said we should be honest with each other and get tested before we hook up. I then asked asked her “so what was all that exclusivity talk about then?” And she paused and answered with “well I’ve been thinking about it”.. I got butthurt and emotional about it and made an ass out of myself. I thought she wanted exclusivity, I mean, if she did, she changed her mind in 2 days.

I then said out of emotional weakness that we should take a break and not talk to see how we feel later on, I know, dumb, I then asked her what she thought about that, she had a long pause and said “can I have time to think about it?” I said yes of course and she ended the call with “thanks, I appreciate it…” I texted her after that call saying I don’t have the energy anymore for confusion and wondering and I don’t want to waste my time or hers..

the next day, I realized the stupid stuff said and the way I reacted was ridiculous, I didn’t know what I was thinking, so I called her twice 5 hours apart and no answer or call back, I just wanted to apologize about the night before. After the whole day passed, still nothing, I got weak again and text her in the late evening saying “I guess we aren’t going to talk anymore. sorry for how things turned out, take care of yourself.” And I still haven’t heard from her. 3 days later, still nothing and I texted her AGAIN stating that I’ve had time to think about the situation, that I’m aware of my doings and that if we haven’t gotten together by now, it probably never will and I apologized for trying to force things on her and I’m here if she needs anything.. Still nothing from that text either, it’s now been a week since I’ve heard from her.

I know what I did was stupid and I was just being emotional. I was unstable and it’s something I need to work on.. She still has me on social media, if that means anything? She still watches my stories. Why didn’t she remove me on anything if she ghosted me??? should I block her on everything even though I was the one out of line? Please don’t sugar coat anything or tell me what I want to hear, give it to me how it is. Thanks!

Edited July 26, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs

July 25, 2022

38 minutes ago, FlammableWater said:

we’ve been friends with benefits for the past 2 years on and off.

Sorry this happened. On/off relationships are full of incompatibilities and conflicts combined with unhealthy attachments and lack of other opportunities. Add to that nebulous situationships and basically it's a recipe for disaster. What is the reason for engaging in this rather than either actually dating or just being friends?

All you can do at this point is step back and let the dust settle and give it some space. You're holding each other back from finding happiness because you're not happy together or apart and you've imprisoned yourselves under this security blanket of a neither here-nor-there situation.

July 25, 2022

She got weird for some reason, and we don't know why either. So go find her, get closure, and move on with your life.

July 25, 2022

It sounds like she was interested in a relationship with you. But then you ruined it by acting extremely insecure and calling/texting her obsessively, overthinking and overanalyzing the relationship. You are very young... just take this as a learning experience. It takes a lot of dumb mistakes to learn how to act in relationships. I cringe when I think back to things I did in relationships when I was 24. Leave her alone and stop texting her. I think this one is past the point of salvaging. Just learn from this.

July 26, 2022

Next time confirm that you’re exclusive. Your language was too passive. I also think she changed her mind about you mid-way and decided dating you exclusively wasn’t for her. There’s not much you could have done regardless.

I reread your reaction to her and it looks like a broken-hearted person. Nothing out of the ordinary or stupid. You didn’t call her incessantly, just twice five hours apart and you didn’t do anything truly stupid like show up at her home uninvited or her work place. Stop beating yourself up. You’re hurt, remain calm. Keep going on with other things you have to do.

You’ve known her since you were 14. She’s a childhood friend. What are the odds this is more platonic than anything and she just doesn’t sense any chemistry or spark with you? You both gained some experience sexually with each other but she’s moved on. You should too. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.

July 26, 2022

hmmmm, well when I read your account of how you reacted, OP, it's wasn't great. I wonder why YOU think it wasn't great? Just because it did not yield success with her? I can't really tell what her thoughts were/are; and if whatever she was doing/planning to do was initiated by her or was in response to the way you acted...those would sort of be key things to think about. I also think there's a possibility that even though this bad period was pretty intense, you might have been doing some of this insecure stuff beforehand, believed your thought processes/insecurity was "hidden" when in fact, it really wasn't and that also served to turn her off BEFORE the mess at the end...Ok, so we don't know what she thinks exactly but try to think about what the most likely way she would have been viewing what happened or led up to it so you can have motivation and knowledge of yourself to change the next time/next person.

As far as what I see what you did, was pretty much a lack of impulse control and anxiety-driven....you seemed to say one thing and then when that didn't work to "reach" her, penetrate her wall, you tried another tactic, and then went around the back, and then the left, and then the right. First of all, you've got to have some conviction. All that flip-flopping is not good and it loses its impact.... if I were to guess she might have already known this about you or sensed it. It's hard to respect people that do this and their words are sort of meaningless. If you want what you say to have more impact, such as a "sorry" one can count on---don't flip flop....which also means when you pick a tactic or a path, you need to be sure of what you are choosing. It can't be to try to force a reaction out of the other person. I think there was a lot of that going on. In her shoes (no matter her own personal issues, which she might have), I would be wary of being in a relationship with someone like that. If she's a normal and good relationship girl, she will recognize right away that this is not healthy or a good investment. If she's sort of into doing her own thing and playing the field herself, welp you've just shown yourself as a guy who doesn't command respect. BTW, I don't mean that because of saying sorry--but the all over the board, doing anything to try to get your way back in. Yes it seems insecure and unstable. So I think you should reflect on that. As an outside--a ton of it seemed anxiety-driven, so I would work on that aspect in yourself. Maybe she brings it out in you, maybe the situation does---though my belief is that anxious people are generally calibrated that way already, so you need to figure out how to manage your anxiety and insecurity. I think what is sad is it might be the primary reason she's not into you. So looking into the future (with other girls/even this one if she gave you another chance) it's key that you learn to deal with it and your impulsive stuff. The mind is also sort of like a little monster. If those tactics had worked, there wasn't much in your post that didn't indicate to me, that you wouldn't do the same exact thing the next time you felt threatened or in crisis. (i know you said you were bummed and sorry--but I see the main focus of being "what can you do?" so I think it's just that all your tactics and various attempts didn't work and you are looking for additional ideas and/or a way to keep the topic of her fueled--a common anxiety thing).

I think you should give it a break. Work on yourself and MAYBE revisit the idea of you and her a long time from now, if she so chooses. If you want a fortune tell: I don't really see that happening but better after some maturity and learning coping strategies. Good luck.

Edited July 26, 2022 by Versacehottie

July 26, 2022

59 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

hmmmm, well when I read your account of how you reacted, OP, it's wasn't great. I wonder why YOU think it wasn't great? Just because it did not yield success with her? I can't really tell what her thoughts were/are; and if whatever she was doing/planning to do was initiated by her or was in response to the way you acted...those would sort of be key things to think about. I also think there's a possibility that even though this bad period was pretty intense, you might have been doing some of this insecure stuff beforehand, believed your thought processes/insecurity was "hidden" when in fact, it really wasn't and that also served to turn her off BEFORE the mess at the end...Ok, so we don't know what she thinks exactly but try to think about what the most likely way she would have been viewing what happened or led up to it so you can have motivation and knowledge of yourself to change the next time/next person.

As far as what I see what you did, was pretty much a lack of impulse control and anxiety-driven....you seemed to say one thing and then when that didn't work to "reach" her, penetrate her wall, you tried another tactic, and then went around the back, and then the left, and then the right. First of all, you've got to have some conviction. All that flip-flopping is not good and it loses its impact.... if I were to guess she might have already known this about you or sensed it. It's hard to respect people that do this and their words are sort of meaningless. If you want what you say to have more impact, such as a "sorry" one can count on---don't flip flop....which also means when you pick a tactic or a path, you need to be sure of what you are choosing. It can't be to try to force a reaction out of the other person. I think there was a lot of that going on. In her shoes (no matter her own personal issues, which she might have), I would be wary of being in a relationship with someone like that. If she's a normal and good relationship girl, she will recognize right away that this is not healthy or a good investment. If she's sort of into doing her own thing and playing the field herself, welp you've just shown yourself as a guy who doesn't command respect. BTW, I don't mean that because of saying sorry--but the all over the board, doing anything to try to get your way back in. Yes it seems insecure and unstable. So I think you should reflect on that. As an outside--a ton of it seemed anxiety-driven, so I would work on that aspect in yourself. Maybe she brings it out in you, maybe the situation does---though my belief is that anxious people are generally calibrated that way already, so you need to figure out how to manage your anxiety and insecurity. I think what is sad is it might be the primary reason she's not into you. So looking into the future (with other girls/even this one if she gave you another chance) it's key that you learn to deal with it and your impulsive stuff. The mind is also sort of like a little monster. If those tactics had worked, there wasn't much in your post that didn't indicate to me, that you wouldn't do the same exact thing the next time you felt threatened or in crisis. (i know you said you were bummed and sorry--but I see the main focus of being "what can you do?" so I think it's just that all your tactics and various attempts didn't work and you are looking for additional ideas and/or a way to keep the topic of her fueled--a common anxiety thing).

I think you should give it a break. Work on yourself and MAYBE revisit the idea of you and her a long time from now, if she so chooses. If you want a fortune tell: I don't really see that happening but better after some maturity and learning coping strategies. Good luck.

All of this was spot on, it’s like you were there in my head when it happened, thank you for taking the time to write this.

July 26, 2022

10 hours ago, FlammableWater said:

She still has me on social media, if that means anything? She still watches my stories. Why didn’t she remove me on anything if she ghosted me??? should I block her on everything even though I was the one out of line?

thanks ok to answer the above. I think you leave her on your social media---again I would call that sticking to your sort of original intent--not the one to force an immediate and positive response---but the stable one of actually being sorry and wanting to make amends. You want to show you are stable and regretful and appreciative of her in your life/world? Then leave her on your social media so she could get in touch and so it's not another example of you sort of throwing a tantrum. That said, while you leave her on there, I wouldn't watch her stories or monitor her posts--can you manage that? It's just going to upset you. Maybe keep her there--but put her on mute. That way you aren't cutting her off and being rude & dramatic but you don't have to see her stuff which would probably make you long to see her/miss her etc (or worry that she is together with other guys). I think if she starts dating another guy and it really really hurts you, sure yeah then you can unfollow. I wouldn't suggest blocking. Others will tell you to do exactly that btw. IMO, you are trying to show maturity, stableness and that you have impulse control...what better way than to leave "friendship" possibility open and right your wrongs--without contact per se but managing your emotions and being normal. Also if she is watching your stories, that's a chance for you to put out some positive messages about who you are and your stability. I wouldn't read ANYTHING into viewing her viewing your stories though (might be a sign of her immaturity or perhaps her wanting you to reach out yet again--a dysfunctional relationship in the making!). Also do not make stories in an effort to make her jealous--this is your chance to show her or any other girl that might be watching that you've got your stuff together--in all ways. Not flipping out over girls or doing stuff that is completely transparent to everyone as to your real purpose (ie jealousy or pushing buttons type stuff). If anything, I would recommend posting a bit less and when you do make sure it's top notch stuff about where your focus is (in good ways) such as hanging with friends and family (sort of easy on the partying), hobbies....idk what else are you into?

My guess is she didn't remove you because she is either a) mature enough to maintain a friendship with you and doesn't see it as an issue...b) immature and playing games to an extent c) keeping tabs on you...d) some combo of all the above. BTW the keeping tabs could be for a sort of positive reason such as she misses you or hopes for something in the future with you OR it could also be to just see where you are and what stupid thing you are up to, to see if any of your drama is directed at her or heading her way (keep your enemies close type of thing!). Even if she does miss you, doesn't mean anything will happen in near future or that she isn't planning to move on--girls watch stories, that's just a fact

oops I forgot to say above: *as an outsideR in my other post.

Edited July 26, 2022 by Versacehottie

July 26, 2022

If you have known each other this long and have never properly dated, it likely was not going to happen now either, OP.

This is not all on you.

July 26, 2022

2 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

thanks ok to answer the above. I think you leave her on your social media---again I would call that sticking to your sort of original intent--not the one to force an immediate and positive response---but the stable one of actually being sorry and wanting to make amends. You want to show you are stable and regretful and appreciative of her in your life/world? Then leave her on your social media so she could get in touch and so it's not another example of you sort of throwing a tantrum. That said, while you leave her on there, I wouldn't watch her stories or monitor her posts--can you manage that? It's just going to upset you. Maybe keep her there--but put her on mute. That way you aren't cutting her off and being rude & dramatic but you don't have to see her stuff which would probably make you long to see her/miss her etc (or worry that she is together with other guys). I think if she starts dating another guy and it really really hurts you, sure yeah then you can unfollow. I wouldn't suggest blocking. Others will tell you to do exactly that btw. IMO, you are trying to show maturity, stableness and that you have impulse control...what better way than to leave "friendship" possibility open and right your wrongs--without contact per se but managing your emotions and being normal. Also if she is watching your stories, that's a chance for you to put out some positive messages about who you are and your stability. I wouldn't read ANYTHING into viewing her viewing your stories though (might be a sign of her immaturity or perhaps her wanting you to reach out yet again--a dysfunctional relationship in the making!). Also do not make stories in an effort to make her jealous--this is your chance to show her or any other girl that might be watching that you've got your stuff together--in all ways. Not flipping out over girls or doing stuff that is completely transparent to everyone as to your real purpose (ie jealousy or pushing buttons type stuff). If anything, I would recommend posting a bit less and when you do make sure it's top notch stuff about where your focus is (in good ways) such as hanging with friends and family (sort of easy on the partying), hobbies....idk what else are you into?

My guess is she didn't remove you because she is either a) mature enough to maintain a friendship with you and doesn't see it as an issue...b) immature and playing games to an extent c) keeping tabs on you...d) some combo of all the above. BTW the keeping tabs could be for a sort of positive reason such as she misses you or hopes for something in the future with you OR it could also be to just see where you are and what stupid thing you are up to, to see if any of your drama is directed at her or heading her way (keep your enemies close type of thing!). Even if she does miss you, doesn't mean anything will happen in near future or that she isn't planning to move on--girls watch stories, that's just a fact

oops I forgot to say above: *as an outsideR in my other post.

Well the funny thing is she just text me saying “Hey”.. I responded an hour later with “what’s up” still nothing yet. I’m curious to what she has to say, I swear if she just says “how are you” I am not going to reply. UPDATE: She just said. “I appreciate your message! I’m not sure if this means we’ll be friends still or not. I respect your focus on your career of course and don’t wanna get in the way of that.”

I kinda don’t want to reply, it took her 5 days to say that??? [ ]

with everything else you said, I did exactly that, I kept her on everything but muted her post and stories so I don’t see them. That way she watches mine but I don’t watch her.

Edited July 26, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

July 26, 2022

OP, you're focusing too much on your actions and not enough on hers.

Now, while it's true that we can't force anyone to do anything and shouldn't feel entitled to people's affection, it's important to pay attention when someone decides they want to be exclusive, has you meet their family, and then suddenly becomes less attentive and communicative and has second-thoughts about exclusivity. Now she's sending you breadcrumbs in lieu of actual conversation.

I may be wrong of course, but I get the impression that this woman is flaky and that, as far as feelings go, hers are not quite as intense as yours.

I think you need to take a huge step back from this situation. She's not on the same page as you as far as feelings are concerned, and you're going to get hurt more deeply if you try pursuing something with her.

It is okay to want more, it is okay to notice when the quality of your interactions change, it is okay to desire the kind of consistency and stability in communication and behavior that encourages you to feel secure. Don't be apologetic about it.

Perhaps the lesson to be learned here is that you seem to want a full-fledged relationship while she seems to want something more casual. That makes you incompatible. Don't twist yourself into pretzels to accommodate her preferences if they're not working for you. Let her go.

July 26, 2022

9 minutes ago, Acacia98 said:

OP, you're focusing too much on your actions and not enough on hers.

Now, while it's true that we can't force anyone to do anything and shouldn't feel entitled to people's affection, it's important to pay attention when someone decides they want to be exclusive, has you meet their family, and then suddenly becomes less attentive and communicative and has second-thoughts about exclusivity. Now she's sending you breadcrumbs in lieu of actual conversation.

I may be wrong of course, but I get the impression that this woman is flaky and that, as far as feelings go, hers are not quite as intense as yours.

I think you need to take a huge step back from this situation. She's not on the same page as you as far as feelings are concerned, and you're going to get hurt more deeply if you try pursuing something with her.

It is okay to want more, it is okay to notice when the quality of your interactions change, it is okay to desire the kind of consistency and stability in communication and behavior that encourages you to feel secure. Don't be apologetic about it.

Perhaps the lesson to be learned here is that you seem to want a full-fledged relationship while she seems to want something more casual. That makes you incompatible. Don't twist yourself into pretzels to accommodate her preferences if they're not working for you. Let her go.

She just text me saying she appreciates my messages I sent 5 days ago, which it was me apologizing for my reaction. In her text just now, She also said that she’s not sure if it means we’re friends still or not (is she wanting me to answer that?) and that she wouldn’t want to get in the way of my career.

it took her 5 days to reply?? I don’t think I’m going to respond.

Edited July 26, 2022 by FlammableWater

July 26, 2022

I agree with ShyViolet.

Too much passiveness on your part.

In the past two years, you have been fine with casually having sex with each other regularly. Have you ever wondered why you failed to act upon an interest in a relationship before she told you she was interested in one?

Likewise, I believe she was interested in a relationship with you. She brought you to meet her family after she expressed a desire to be in a relationship with you. It's quite surprising how you respond to that the next day by thinking that she's hooking up with other guys because she cut the call early. Your question regarding whether you and she were "exclusively hooking up" implied as such, which most likely turned her off.

Not to mention, "exclusively hooking up" just means that you are only having sex with each other and nothing else. It's a bit thin on substance.

Try not to be tempted to go back and forth for now by focusing on yourself.

Edited July 26, 2022 by Alpacalia

July 26, 2022

10 hours ago, FlammableWater said:

She just text me saying she appreciates my messages I sent 5 days ago, which it was me apologizing for my reaction. In her text just now, She also said that she’s not sure if it means we’re friends still or not (is she wanting me to answer that?) and that she wouldn’t want to get in the way of my career.

it took her 5 days to reply?? I don’t think I’m going to respond.

Hmmmm well I would just say that is again sort of your emotional, impulsive, immature, game-playing reaction. When you initially said sorry, did you mean it? I'm not saying she is not also behaving immaturely or game-playing--it would seem as if she is. What I see overall, is a broken communication system or lack of skills with regard to communication. Sometimes you need to figure out, who it hurts by being stubborn and/or trying to retaliate....like what is your real goal?

I think, if I were in your shoes, the longer term goal should always be good, clear communication...so you can advocate and achieve what it is that you want. These stalemates rarely work and usually just contribute to lots of regret, aggravation, miscommunication, and lack of growth....plus you won't be getting what you want. What is it that you want? Right now are you advocating ie retaliating due to ego reasons or do you really just think if 5 days have passed that she is no longer the person who you wanted a relationship with and were still so upset about a day ago that you started this thread?

I would say you need to examine that stuff and get clear. That said, I'm not sure that it would be healthiest (if you had the opportunity) to repair things with her and keep dating at this point. Sounds like neither of you have the communication tools to make it together at this point. If too much resentment has built up or bad patterns, it makes it almost impossible to be together at same stage in time--need to really step away, change your own behaviors and perhaps give it a shot much later when you've changed (and hopefully she will have as well). As far as her, I don't think she is that capable of expressing herself and/or she is flakey & playing games at this point. She also could be retaliating for something she thinks YOU did (who knows, hard to tell with only one side of the story).

If you don't want to just be "friends", tell her you need to keep the space for now. If you want to pursue the relationship as you thought you had been doing, clarify that in your response to her. BTW, better to do in person or at least on phone/FT vs over text. Good luck

July 26, 2022

11 hours ago, FlammableWater said:

She just text me saying she appreciates my messages I sent 5 days ago, which it was me apologizing for my reaction. In her text just now, She also said that she’s not sure if it means we’re friends still or not (is she wanting me to answer that?) and that she wouldn’t want to get in the way of my career.

it took her 5 days to reply?? I don’t think I’m going to respond.

It’s not realistic to expect to be friends and also suggests she doesn’t have feelings for you in the same way.

If you don’t see yourself spending any time with her just let her know you enjoyed the time together and wish her well. You both may cross paths again. Don’t leave on sour terms. And let go.

July 26, 2022

12 hours ago, FlammableWater said:

she’s not sure if it means we’re friends still or not and that she wouldn’t want to get in the way of my career. I don’t think I’m going to respond.

Yeah, don't bother responding r dragging it out. it sounds like she's done, so just delete and block her.

July 26, 2022

OP,

You lack some basic skills that you need to be in relationship with someone.

Someone gets off the phone after 2 minutes when every previous call was an hour, you SPEAK!

You ask what's up to the person and you express your desire. "Hey, you cool? I used to talking to you longer. I'd love to talk a little more."

You gotta do that in relationship. It's awkward at the start, but you keep going and you'll get better. Otherwise, you get lost in what has trapped you: mindreading. You want to ask the person point blank if everything is OK. And you present your desire ("I want to talk some more") without shame, without beginning.

You'd be shocked at how little people we like know about what we're feeling. The questions you're raising here are questions you want to ask to the other person. The trick is to sincerely ask--without attitude and sniping. You'll be nervous. You'll feel awkward. But you'll start to get a ton more information from the other person.

July 27, 2022

On 7/26/2022 at 3:38 AM, FlammableWater said:

Hello, so this girl and I have been friends for 10 years (we’re both 24) and we’ve been friends with benefits for the past 2 years (on and off). Recently we’ve been in a good part of our “friends with benefitship?” I guess you’d call it, and she brought up to me for the first time how she would eventually want to be in a relationship with me, telling me to let her know if anything she does bothers me, and that she wants to respect my boundaries, etc. I agreed that I would want to be exclusive as well.

Two days after that talk, she invited me to an event with her family, it went very well and she was very affectionate towards me, even in front of her family and I was affectionate back. We then stayed the night at her place. The next day she worked all day and we didn’t talk, but later that evening, she called me and asked how my day was and that was it, typically she’d stay on the phone for a while at night, roughly an hour at least. We got off the phone after 2-3 minutes, it was 9pm and usually we go to bed around 1am, so I got insecure about that, (why did she hang up so early? Is she talking to another guy? Etc) and so I called her back asking if we were exclusively hooking up (I know, I messed up there, I was looking for reassurance) and she basically said no and said we should be honest with each other and get tested before we hook up. I then asked asked her “so what was all that exclusivity talk about then?” And she paused and answered with “well I’ve been thinking about it”.. I got butthurt and emotional about it and made an ass out of myself. I thought she wanted exclusivity, I mean, if she did, she changed her mind in 2 days.

I then said out of emotional weakness that we should take a break and not talk to see how we feel later on, I know, dumb, I then asked her what she thought about that, she had a long pause and said “can I have time to think about it?” I said yes of course and she ended the call with “thanks, I appreciate it…” I texted her after that call saying I don’t have the energy anymore for confusion and wondering and I don’t want to waste my time or hers..

the next day, I realized the stupid stuff said and the way I reacted was ridiculous, I didn’t know what I was thinking, so I called her twice 5 hours apart and no answer or call back, I just wanted to apologize about the night before. After the whole day passed, still nothing, I got weak again and text her in the late evening saying “I guess we aren’t going to talk anymore. sorry for how things turned out, take care of yourself.” And I still haven’t heard from her. 3 days later, still nothing and I texted her AGAIN stating that I’ve had time to think about the situation, that I’m aware of my doings and that if we haven’t gotten together by now, it probably never will and I apologized for trying to force things on her and I’m here if she needs anything.. Still nothing from that text either, it’s now been a week since I’ve heard from her.

I know what I did was stupid and I was just being emotional. I was unstable and it’s something I need to work on.. She still has me on social media, if that means anything? She still watches my stories. Why didn’t she remove me on anything if she ghosted me??? should I block her on everything even though I was the one out of line? Please don’t sugar coat anything or tell me what I want to hear, give it to me how it is. Thanks!

I don't think you did a stupid thing. You shared how you really felt and she couldn't handle it or felt different. Or at least her true feelings were revealed. I know you may not wanna hear this but that change in her behaviour could indicate she's met someone.

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