Finding a friend

[daisy20202-7]

hi everyone

 

was wondering what people do these days to find a girlfriend or boyfriend and is there still a way you can still meet someone from this generation the good old ways like our parents did in the 80s-90s by actually going out and meeting face to face.

 

wondered because found out that the sisters seeing someone and its reminding you how much you want the friend and you know that it wont happen fast and you are doing everything you can and you cant do anymore at moment.

 

am usually working every weekend and while thats not all the reason its certainly not helping things.

 

is there a way and what can be done until your not working weekends or holidays or atleast not every one of them.

 

just feeling like it is never going to happen even though people say it will eventually, dont

have hundreds every time to hire a social companion even if its get the confidence.

 

and sometimes you feel like you have no one even though you really do.

 

last time that had gotten to experience something not even comparable was in 2005 at year 12 formal when taking a cousin and in 2013 at a friends bbq someone was there and spoke to her and thats got to be a step as never met her before and in january 2014 at a cousins wedding danced with another cousin and in 2015 watched a movie with that same cousin that had danced with at wedding year before as arrived earlier for some reason as they already were watching something and also later in 2015 another cousins friend.

 

the above is the only chances that have had and now its 2022, atleast 7 years after.

 

what are good ways to talk to girls and let them know what youre looking for.

 

where would you go in a small town and is there a way to meet someone from this generation way people used to by going out.

 

what is a way to find a girl during coronavirus, what is a safe way while trying to delay or avoid it as thats one thing not helping.

 

plus at property theres not enough privacy and just doing best with what have got at moment.

 

if you could reply back thatd be great.

 

thanks

 

[Wiseman2]

Do you work? Go to school? Live with your parents? What age group are you looking for in dating?

Join some groups and clubs. Volunteer. Take some classes and courses. Broaden your social horizons.

Also get on some quality dating apps with a good profile and pics a start talking to and meeting women. Dating apps are simply an introduction to other single people in your area. 

[smackie9]

Dating apps......

[daisy20202-7]

On 7/28/2022 at 12:27 AM, smackie9 said:

Dating apps......

what out the good old ways of meeting face to face

[basil67]

As someone who came of age in the 80's, I can tell you that there's a caveat to meeting people the old fashioned way:  We'd meet only a handful of people per year; Going six months or more without a date was not unusual.   We certainly didn't have so many dates with different people before finding someone who worked well with us, but I think that's because there wasn't always a shiny new prospect just a click away, so we gave people more opportunity...we simply couldn't afford to be so picky.   And so many of us were married by our mid 20's.  .  

You can date by meeting in real life now, but be prepared for very long gaps between potential partners and to be more willing to give someone who's not perfect a chance.  As for where to meet up, it's all about going to parties, getting invited to group events, pubs, bars, Christmas parties, concerts.  

The biggest problem you'll face is that the women you're looking for will still likely be doing online dating and still churning through date after date.....

[Happy Lemming]

Although, I've been in a 10 year relationship with my current girlfriend, I met ALL of the women I dated in "real life" -- (Face to Face, as you put it).  The vast majority of the women I dated, I met in bars/pubs.  Some of the other places are as follows:

(1) College

(2) Co-ed Sports

(3) Friend’s Party

(4) Long Bank Line

(5) Used Computer Parts Show

(6) Food Festival

(7) Through mutual friends

(8) Worked in same office building – different company

(9) Used book store

(10) Ice Skating

(11) Art Gallery (private exhibit opening)

(12) Apartment Complex Pool – current girlfriend

As far as "breaking the ice" and starting a conversation, I use the circumstances around me.  As an example the women I met at Used Computer Parts Show, I complimented the motherboard she had just purchased and asked if she was building her own computer.  We chit-chatted a bit, then got a cup of coffee at the canteen (on-site), exchanged phone numbers and dated for a while.  I can give you other examples of how I started a conversation with various women (if you want), but the general idea is to use what is going on around the both of you to start a conversation.  If she continues the conversation, great -- keep talking and try to get her number.  If she seems to not want to continue to talk, then don't push and exit the conversation.

I did date one woman when I lived a very small town (where I was refurbishing a house).  It is a long story and I'll be glad to tell it (if you want to read it -- let me know), but I don't want to derail your thread. 

Quick Question -- Are you a social individual??  Do you talk to people when you are out and about?? 

[Wiseman2]

On 8/5/2022 at 3:26 AM, daisy20202-7 said:

what out the good old ways of meeting face to face

Join some groups and clubs, volunteer, take some classes and courses, get involved in expanding your social circle.

Don't try to pick up women randomly in bars, stores etc. It's creepy. Rather talk to women you see regularly, say at a group or club or class.

You claim you don't want to date but just "hang out on and off"? Do you mean a FWB or friends?

[Foxhall]

On 8/5/2022 at 2:39 PM, Happy Lemming said:

but the general idea is to use what is going on around the both of you to start a conversation.  If she continues the conversation, great -- keep talking and try to get her number.  If she seems to not want to continue to talk, then don't push and exit the conversation.

I like that post there,

Just as an observation, a lot of guys of my era  or where Im from (40 + ish) really struggled with just talking to girls,  the younger brigade now are more confident I think,

 to the OP, definitely though, follow that advice of making more of an effort to talk to women socially, your confidence will improve and once that happens it will become fun rather than something which stresses you.

I was always quiet enough which meant could never really meet women in pubs, but have got to a point where Im actually pretty good now with the ladies, 

get involved though in events and places that interest you and the rest will follow.

 

 

 

[Clarity1]

I agree with all of the above. The more you socialize, and put yourself out there, the more comfortable you'll feel the next time. So instead of worrying about the outcome of the approach or starting a conversation in the event that you get rejected, you'll shift your focus on just enjoying having a conversation. 

With this comes confidence. Of course, there are online dating apps but they won't necessarily help you if your profile isn't one of the better ones. 

[Alpacalia]

On 7/25/2022 at 11:37 PM, daisy20202-7 said:

hi everyone

 

was wondering what people do these days to find a girlfriend or boyfriend and is there still a way you can still meet someone from this generation the good old ways like our parents did in the 80s-90s by actually going out and meeting face to face.

 

[AdvisorDJ]

Wow, where to begin.  

First, some of the other suggestions are good.  Yes, get out there and do things.  I have a guess you are in your 20s, but just a guess. 

Second, you never go to a woman and tell her what you are looking for and basically let her know you have a definite interest, unless she has indicated interest.  There is this thing called Body Langauge, we all use it, and fewer people pay attention to it today consciously.  It is the language of love, so go learn it. 

Then, learn how to walk up to a woman and have a conversation, a "Hi, I am ______" works better than most other things.  

Then learn to flirt, and then, once you can do that, start seeking a woman.  

So, where can you do it, well. what do you like to do?