Should I try again?

[RosePSmith]

8 hours ago, glows said:

Has your communication always been this way with each other? That’s deep resentment on his part if he can’t feel comfortable around you and an arrogant streak touting forgiveness and believing that he’s entitled to a relationship with you without putting in the effort and work required for open communication. If he’s a drinker or an alcoholic, let go. You can never compete with someone who is addicted to something else, alcohol or other substance. 

Is there anyone else you can talk to when you’re feeling down or upset? Stay busy and occupied. Good that you’re moving on from your mother’s issues. Your sister is fine on her own. It’s ok to let siblings go. You have different lives and are not responsible for one another. 

 

 

Yes I speak to a couple of close friends - but it’s really helpful to get this advice as well. He does struggle to communicate clearly - he’s said that his counsellor had suggested he might have ADHD and although I can see some traits I don’t see this as an excuse. I’m very clear in how I communicate - i find anything else confusing and unhelpful. He lashes out, saying things he doesn’t mean,  and sometimes takes them back the next day. I know I’m far from perfect but I do always try to be clear and honest. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, RosePSmith said:

He lashes out, saying things he doesn’t mean,  and sometimes takes them back the next day. 

It's best you stay broken up. You're right, don't use a 'diagnosis' for inappropriate and abusive behavior.

[glows]

3 hours ago, RosePSmith said:

Yes I speak to a couple of close friends - but it’s really helpful to get this advice as well. He does struggle to communicate clearly - he’s said that his counsellor had suggested he might have ADHD and although I can see some traits I don’t see this as an excuse. I’m very clear in how I communicate - i find anything else confusing and unhelpful. He lashes out, saying things he doesn’t mean,  and sometimes takes them back the next day. I know I’m far from perfect but I do always try to be clear and honest. 

Take more time to yourself. Is he still contacting you to attempt to reconcile? There are more negatives than positives with the relationship and his communication is both hurtful and confusing.

You won’t know how much better life can be until you give yourself a chance to find someone else who treats you better or are more compatible with. He doesn’t respect your time or needs to be with your adult children. There’s no transparency either. The confusing and hurtful communication alone would cause me to step back. That is too painful.