RoroHare Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 Is this a romantic gesture? My concern only is if she's not ready for it, like she looks haggard on Saturday (the day of my supposed surprise)... Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 What does how she looks have to do with it? If she looks haggard, don't take her picture and post it on social media. The flowers might be wilted after 60 miles in your vehicle or on a train. That might be a valid concern. Do you have expectations attached to this erstwhile romantic gesture? If you do, check yourself. "Give to get" is not a great starting place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoroHare Posted July 28, 2022 Author Share Posted July 28, 2022 (edited) I once drove 200 miles to bring a girl a bouquet of flowers. Nothing happened with the flowers. I guess it doesn't matter how she looks then. I was just concerned she might be a little conscious of the situation. Her father will be with her too. What should I expect? Edited July 28, 2022 by RoroHare Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoroHare Posted July 28, 2022 Author Share Posted July 28, 2022 Just now, NuevoYorko said: What does how she looks have to do with it? If she looks haggard, don't take her picture and post it on social media. The flowers might be wilted after 60 miles in your vehicle or on a train. That might be a valid concern. Do you have expectations attached to this erstwhile romantic gesture? If you do, check yourself. "Give to get" is not a great starting place. No expectations. I just miss her. That's all. Actually, I'm supposed to be with friends on an island getaway this Saturday but I think that I'd feel alone there without my girlfriend so... I'm not going with them anymore. Instead, I would surprise my girlfriend with a bouquet of flowers... and a poem perhaps. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 What if she's not home? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoroHare Posted July 28, 2022 Author Share Posted July 28, 2022 She won’t be home this Saturday but I know where she will be. I will send her a text that I’m at “this place” and that I have a surprise for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoroHare Posted July 28, 2022 Author Share Posted July 28, 2022 She lives in another island, but on Saturday, she will be at the capital city of the next province. I don’t know other details, but I know I can find her. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 49 minutes ago, RoroHare said: Her father will be with her too. What should I expect? It might be a little awkward with her dad around while you're offering a romantic gesture. I would hold off until you know she is going to be alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 How long have you been dating each other? In the middle of a rainstorm, when my house flooded due to a storm, a man I was newly dating drove to my house after the flood, and he brought me a bouquet of flowers and helped me clean my apartment. I was so upset because everything in my apartment was ruined. My heart was deeply touched by that. She's your girlfriend, isn't she? It's a lovely gesture. I say go for it! Perhaps after her Dad is gone, or perhaps when her Dad is not there, just in case she wants to kiss you after (or something like that). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 2 hours ago, RoroHare said: Is this a romantic gesture? My concern only is if she's not ready for it, like she looks haggard on Saturday (the day of my supposed surprise)... The only opinion that matters is your girlfriend’s. Is she the type to like surprises or appreciates you cancelling plans with your friends to see her? I wouldn’t be too keen on someone who just cancels like that on their friends or falls apart feeling lonely on one weekend. I’m sure you can give her flowers any time. Is this a long distance rl? How often do you see each other? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoroHare Posted July 28, 2022 Author Share Posted July 28, 2022 Very seldom we see each other. Yes, it’s LDR. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 6 minutes ago, RoroHare said: Very seldom we see each other. Yes, it’s LDR. I see why you’re eager to see her. LDRs are tricky. I hope she appreciates the gesture but I wouldn’t cancel plans with friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RoroHare Posted July 28, 2022 Author Share Posted July 28, 2022 Just now, glows said: I see why you’re eager to see her. LDRs are tricky. I hope she appreciates the gesture but I wouldn’t cancel plans with friends. My friends' plans will push through even without me. However, latest update: gf says her dad will go home on Sunday... so perhaps I'll surprise her on Sunday then so I can join my friends on Saturday? Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 Not sure what keeps you from doing it when YOU want to. You're not asked to change your plans, so it's not a big deal. If you have little opportunity to see each other than I can see why you may want to take advantage of those few opportunities when you have them. Just pick a day that works for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 6 hours ago, RoroHare said: I once drove 200 miles to bring a girl a bouquet of flowers. Do they have delivery where you live? It seems like you would look more "haggard" and the flowers would be wilted driving this far. In general, showing up unannounced in a new ldr is creepy, with or without flowers. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 It's not a new LDR. They've been together since February. Hardly creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 20 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: It's not a new LDR. They've been together since February. Hardly creepy. There was no context. But if you think it's a good idea ok then 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 (edited) 5 hours ago, RoroHare said: My friends' plans will push through even without me. However, latest update: gf says her dad will go home on Sunday... so perhaps I'll surprise her on Sunday then so I can join my friends on Saturday? It’s better to inform her if you’re going to make the trip. She may have other plans on Sunday and be with other relatives or friends. It’s out of consideration for the other person. You’ve only been dating for a few months and it’s not ok to assume someone will drop everything for you. It may also seem strange and controlling if you’re searching for clues or trying to fish for more info about her by showing up unannounced. Someone you don’t know well may wonder why you’ve come over like that as if you’re trying to check up on her. Sunday sounds like a better alternative since you’ll be able to meet your friends provided you’ve checked and asked her if she’s free or available to spend time with you. If she agrees, the flowers can be a surprise. Edited July 28, 2022 by glows Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 Personally, I would NOT like a surprise visit. I would very much appreciate a call asking me if I'm available and then making plans to get together. I'm in a 2 1/2 plus year relationship where we only live 10 minutes from each other, but we don't just drop in unannounced. I understand your "haggard" comment - sometimes I'll deep condition my hair, put on a facial treatment mask and just wear an old shabby nightshirt around the house. I would definitely be uncomfortable and embarrassed to be caught like that. Everyone is different, I wouldn't assume she'll see it as a romantic and welcome gesture. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 It’s a very sweet gesture. I think it’s a little weird that her father will be with her, that would give me pause. And then, some people like surprises and others do not - if she is doing something specific, she may not like the distraction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 Don't go showing up with an extravagant bouquet of red roses. A nice colorful say 10/15 dollar arrangement from the grocery store is fine. Keep it simple. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 28, 2022 Share Posted July 28, 2022 (edited) Agree. The gesture to make the trip is far more valuable than an expensive bouquet of flowers. I take it maybe you don't see each other as often as you'd like since it is long-distance. The surprise would be extra special if I hadn't seen my boyfriend in a while and we weren't able to see each other as often. If it's not something you think she would welcome though then don't it. Use your better judgment. Edited July 28, 2022 by Alpacalia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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