Charles_moeller Posted July 30, 2022 Share Posted July 30, 2022 I feel like my girlfriend has trust issues and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do... Over the past few weeks there’s been patterns of her breaking down when I’m not with her.. if I’m at a movie and she calls/I don’t pick up I’m accused of lieing, if im with a friend at my house (that I’ve told her in advance) she’s freak out. most recently I stayed over at her house and heard her room mate may be getting kicked out of the country for not having work. I offered to introduce her to some contacts ( I work in recruitment) and let them help her. when my girlfriend found out she blasted me and admitted she thought I might pursue her secretly, cheat, etc..I apologised because I spontaneously had this conversation when she wasn’t in the room and didn’t consult her first about asking for her room mates CV but since then she’s put me on trial and always suspects I’m doing something wrong. her history is issues with her dad cheating and previous relationships having trust issues so I’m not sure if this stems from unresolved problems? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 30, 2022 Share Posted July 30, 2022 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Charles_moeller said: Over the past few weeks there’s been patterns of her breaking down when I’m not with her.. if I’m at a movie and she calls/I don’t pick up I’m accused of lieing, if im with a friend at my house she’s freak out. I offered to introduce her to some contacts ( I work in recruitment) and let them help her. she wasn’t in the room and didn’t consult her first about asking for her room mates CV How long have you been dating? Unfortunately from your description, she seems controlling and insecure. Seems like some major boundary and communication issues. As far as the roommate, stay out of her business. No one asked you to find her a job. Edited July 30, 2022 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 30, 2022 Share Posted July 30, 2022 She's too insecure to have a relationship, OP. I wouldn't bother continuing with this. She has no respect for you. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 30, 2022 Share Posted July 30, 2022 26 minutes ago, Charles_moeller said: I feel like my girlfriend has trust issues and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do... Over the past few weeks there’s been patterns of her breaking down when I’m not with her.. if I’m at a movie and she calls/I don’t pick up I’m accused of lieing, if im with a friend at my house (that I’ve told her in advance) she’s freak out. most recently I stayed over at her house and heard her room mate may be getting kicked out of the country for not having work. I offered to introduce her to some contacts ( I work in recruitment) and let them help her. when my girlfriend found out she blasted me and admitted she thought I might pursue her secretly, cheat, etc..I apologised because I spontaneously had this conversation when she wasn’t in the room and didn’t consult her first about asking for her room mates CV but since then she’s put me on trial and always suspects I’m doing something wrong. her history is issues with her dad cheating and previous relationships having trust issues so I’m not sure if this stems from unresolved problems? You’re not a match. Let her go. This is too volatile and hostile for a relationship. If she can’t trust you, there’s no point to anything you both are doing. No foundation for a relationship can be built, there is no future. By staying you’re enabling her and putting your life on hold. Be wary you don’t become like her or confused or brainwashed into thinking you’re not trustworthy or deserving of more trust in a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 30, 2022 Share Posted July 30, 2022 Sorry but the only way to fix this is to find a new GF and her finding a good therapist. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 (edited) On 7/30/2022 at 6:44 AM, Charles_moeller said: Her history is issues with her dad cheating and previous relationships having trust issues so I’m not sure if this stems from unresolved problems? Full disclosure. My dad also cheated and I struggled with anxiety, insecurity and trust issues in my first two LTRs. Even became engaged to one, they both loved me a lot so I understand how you feel. Thinking back, not sure how they tolerated me but they did. I was young and immature and eventually broke up with them. Since then I've been in therapy off and on and have resolved those issues and have become whole and complete. I recently got married and 100% trust my hubs even though he is gone a lot building and running his business. How old is your girlfriend? Her insecurity and trust issues are on HER, not you and she needs to take responsibility for those issues and seek professional help. That is the only way this is gonna work. Do NOT change your behavior to appease her; by doing so you are "feeding the monster" and nothing gets resolved and you will end up losing yourself and in turn she will eventually lose respect for you. That's what happened in my first two relationships. If you're intent on staying, suggest she seek professional help. Remain strong, stay true to yourself and hold frame. Again, it's the only way. Edited August 6, 2022 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
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