Sgthaytham Posted July 31, 2022 Share Posted July 31, 2022 (edited) Now of course she can take care of herself. I know she's more than a match. It's just I'm worried about what her flatmate is capable of doing. This morning her other flatmate mentioned to my GF that this absolute crazy person threatened her by saying "I'm warning her, I'll send my friends to take care of her when she leaves the flat". Again, I know my gf can handle it and it's probably just words, but [ ] this added to everything else he's done and said... Edited July 31, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 31, 2022 Share Posted July 31, 2022 Is this a random sociopath roommate? Why would someone say something like that? Is it possible for her to leave and find a new living situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sgthaytham Posted July 31, 2022 Author Share Posted July 31, 2022 (edited) 6 hours ago, glows said: Is this a random sociopath roommate? Why would someone say something like that? Is it possible for her to leave and find a new living situation? She moved into this particular flat because the landlord (the mother of the third flatmate incidentally) agreed my girl could bring her cat. Understandably, not a lot of flats allow it. So I think she jumped on the opportunity. I remember her saying her flatmates were cool when she did move in. Let's be frank, it's probably nothing to do with cat hair... He obviously has a big issue within himself and towards her. I feel like going up to him calmly and asking "So I've heard you've threatened M. Apparently you need your mates to do it for you? What's all that about?" No violence, no shouting or swearing. Just to make it clear that he's crossed the line. I know my girlfriend can handle it, I know she's not scared of him - but I can tell she's worried and unsure what he could do. She said she'd get some pepperspray... That's how I know she is. To answer why would anyone say such a thing? Good question, I don't know what [ ] went through his mind, whether he was drunk or high, but he's 38 and she's 25... He knows she'll come to talk to me about it. He knows that I'm obviously going to react one way or anything. [ ] Edited July 31, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 31, 2022 Share Posted July 31, 2022 It’s between your gf and her landlord. What’s the actual issue? Is it cat hair or issues with the cat? Encourage her to speak with her landlord. You getting involved may get her evicted and homeless. I understand you feel protective but probably not for the best in this case while tensions are high. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 31, 2022 Share Posted July 31, 2022 Stay out of it because this guy is just looking for a fight. Maybe this person is upset because there is an extra person added to the living situation which he never bargained for. Anywho she and the other flatmate should contact the landlord and have them figure something out. I would say this person has mental illness /substance abuse issues. Normal people don't say things like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 31, 2022 Share Posted July 31, 2022 1 hour ago, Sgthaytham said: He knows that I'm obviously going to react one way or anything. Stay out if their household business. If your GF is upset about it she'll start looking for another place. She can speak to the landlord, other roommates or the police about it. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 31, 2022 Share Posted July 31, 2022 3 hours ago, Sgthaytham said: I feel like going up to him calmly and asking "So I've heard you've threatened M. Apparently you need your mates to do it for you? What's all that about?" This is not a good idea. If this guy is unstable, and it seems he is, you getting involved could set him off and leave your girlfriend in an even more vulnerable position as soon as you leave the flat. It will likely ignite a fuse that will make this worse. If your girlfriend feels unsafe, she needs to speak to the landlady and the police, and get herself to a safe place. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sgthaytham Posted August 1, 2022 Author Share Posted August 1, 2022 (edited) Thanks for the replies guys. Yeah, upon reflection, you guys are right. I shouldn't get involved any more than just being an ear for her. I've heard that he smokes a lot of weed, and there's definitely something off about him. I just can't help being a bit worried that it wasn't an empty threat. She messaged me last night saying she caught him looking into her room through the blinds, and by looking she means spying on her. So there's him calling her offensive name, threatening harm, and spying... In a month, he'll have left, but a lot of things can happen in a month... Edited August 2, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 1, 2022 Share Posted August 1, 2022 (edited) She seems to have bad taste in roommates/ housing. Why not invite her over more often? Do you live with parents, roommates or have your own place? If she were actually worried she would tell the landlord, police or find a new place. Edited August 2, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator remove quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sgthaytham Posted August 1, 2022 Author Share Posted August 1, 2022 Idk maybe I'm overthinking and overreacting but I don't like how this feels. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sgthaytham Posted August 1, 2022 Author Share Posted August 1, 2022 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: She seems to have bad taste in roommates/ housing. Why not invite her over more often? Do you live with parents, roommates or have your own place? If she were actually worried she would tell the landlord, police or find a new place. It's not so easy to find a place that accepts pets. I have my own place, and yes she does spend a lot of time here. Why does it feel like you're blaming her? She had no idea what she was facing when she took the room. I remember her saying she was happy there, lucky she found the place and that her flatmates were pretty cool. In the space of 3-4 weeks, she's been call names and threatened. The landlord has given him one month's notice. Hopefully nothing happens till then. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 1, 2022 Share Posted August 1, 2022 2 hours ago, Sgthaytham said: Idk maybe I'm overthinking and overreacting but I don't like how this feels. No, but there is not much you can or should do about it directly. The most you can do is encourage your girlfriend to keep track of all incidents and report them to the proper authority, be it the landlord or the police if he continues to acutally threaten her. Can she spend more time at your house until this guy is gone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sgthaytham Posted August 1, 2022 Author Share Posted August 1, 2022 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: No, but there is not much you can or should do about it directly. The most you can do is encourage your girlfriend to keep track of all incidents and report them to the proper authority, be it the landlord or the police if he continues to acutally threaten her. Can she spend more time at your house until this guy is gone? Yeah of course she can, I said if she ever needed to she could come over. And usually after dates and stuff she'll come back to mine. I've ordered a larger bed which should be coming soon. I agree there isn't much I can do. What she wants to do is totally up to her. I really hope that the worst is passed. Link to post Share on other sites
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