What's going on here? and what should I do?

[dnd_girl]

Hey all!

Could really do with some advice here. Recently had a great first date with someone - it ended up turning into dinner and going on for hours. Ended up meeting up again, the guy said it would have to be a shorter one, as he's crazy busy, so I offered to take a rain check so he could get everything he needed to done, but he said he wanted to meet.

We met up, it was maybe a little more awkward than the first time (I felt more nervous!) but there were still plenty of laughs and conversation. After a couple of hours, he said he had to leave. As we parted ways, he gave me a really quick hug and said 'see you later', didn't go for the kiss.

Honestly, after he cut it short, and then seemed so awkward when we left, I was either expecting to a) never hear from him again or b) get a "i like you but I'm just not quite feeling it" type message.

But he messaged as soon as he got home, to ask if I'd got home ok, and apologise for being tired and cutting it short. I said no problem. He sent a few more messages with questions to carry the conversation on a bit.

That was the night before yesterday. Not heard from him since. Should I drop him a line, or just let it fizzle out? Normally I would assume he's not interested. No mention of another date, he totally crashed out on the second etc, but I'm thrown by the messages.

Please feel free to be brutally honest!

[glows]

Given the awkwardness towards the end and his claim that he’s so crazy busy, let him reach out to you. It’s been two days or thereabouts. I generally give someone 3-4 days. No hard and fast rule. It depends on feeling and sussing out what kind of person that is, how busy they are. 

Did he say anything about his “crazy busy” life? What was that all about? Be wary pursing anyone who’s too busy to date or using that excuse. It just means that person isn’t available, period.

[dnd_girl]

Hey!

Thanks for your message

He did reach out straight after the date, I'm wondering if I should reach out again now?

He had been a bit busy after having to take on some new staff to train. He does quite a bit of team sports, but seems to expect work to calm down.

[glows]

3 minutes ago, i_have_questions said:

Hey!

Thanks for your message

He did reach out straight after the date, I'm wondering if I should reach out again now?

He had been a bit busy after having to take on some new staff to train. He does quite a bit of team sports, but seems to expect work to calm down.

If you want to, why not? Go for it. Send a nice message to see how he’s doing and if he’d be up for going out. Do you feel he’s genuine as a person? Use your sixth sense or intuition. If so no harm sending a text. 

[dnd_girl]

1 minute ago, glows said:

If you want to, why not? Go for it. Send a nice message to see how he’s doing and if he’d be up for going out. Do you feel he’s genuine as a person? Use your sixth sense or intuition. If so no harm sending a text. 

Unfortunately my intuition is terrible! I have no idea. Part of me thinks he's totally not interested and I shouldn't waste my time, but a little bit of me wonders if it was awkward because he's a bit shy. Hmmm. I guess the only way to know is to either ask or to just wait and eventually realise he's not getting back to me!

[glows]

2 minutes ago, i_have_questions said:

Unfortunately my intuition is terrible! I have no idea. Part of me thinks he's totally not interested and I shouldn't waste my time, but a little bit of me wonders if it was awkward because he's a bit shy. Hmmm. I guess the only way to know is to either ask or to just wait and eventually realise he's not getting back to me!

Exactly. When someone is inconsistent or seems on the fence, unconventionally flaky or unusually busy, it’s generally better to wait to see whether there is mutual interest. 

It’s really up to you and no wrong answer. You’ll know eventually.

[dnd_girl]

Just now, glows said:

Exactly. When someone is inconsistent or seems on the fence, unconventionally flaky or unusually busy, it’s generally better to wait to see whether there is mutual interest. 

It’s really up to you and no wrong answer. You’ll know eventually.

Thanks. I really can't work this guy out - each time I've assumed he's not super into it, he's ended up surprising me. I guess I'll think about whether I wanna go out on a limb, or if I just want to wait and see.

[Ami1uwant]

If you are super busy you don’t have time to date.

 

if they say they say they are super busy after meeting it’s because they aren’t interested.

[dnd_girl]

51 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

If you are super busy you don’t have time to date.

 

if they say they say they are super busy after meeting it’s because they aren’t interested.

I think this is a solid point

[smackie9]

He insisted you meet for a second time, which means he wanted to see you and fit you into his busy schedule. AND he messaged more after the date probably to get a feel if YOU were still interested. I say he is interested.....so far he had made an effort more so than someone would ever do if they weren't. Be flirty be fun, say you look forward to seeing him again when he gets the time. Then leave it and see.

[dnd_girl]

9 hours ago, smackie9 said:

He insisted you meet for a second time, which means he wanted to see you and fit you into his busy schedule. AND he messaged more after the date probably to get a feel if YOU were still interested. I say he is interested.....so far he had made an effort more so than someone would ever do if they weren't. Be flirty be fun, say you look forward to seeing him again when he gets the time. Then leave it and see.

Thank you. See - normally I would already have assumed he wasn't interested and moved on (I tend to find it's pretty obvious when guys like you on the whole) but this one, I just can't tell - as you say, he has put in more effort than you'd expect for not being interested. However, I don't know if he's just stringing me along.

I'm going to take your advice - drop a message, and leave it with him.